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The best way to conceal his affections, he reasoned, was to never stop flirting with anyone else. Friends, strangers, teachers, it didn’t matter. The only person who wasn’t a target of his constant, omnidirectional romantic solicitations was one poofy-haired, long-winded Kankri Vantas. Heck, he hit on his little brother more than he did on Kankri.
Cronus Ampora was, as he, his brother, and most of his friends were quick to say, one messed-up dude. He wore leather jackets and slicked-back hairstyles straight out of West Side Story. He used a fake ID to buy cigarettes he never smoked. Every weekend, he went to the public pool with a snorkel and sat on the steps, completely submerged with only the tip of the snorkel showing above water, for hours on end. He had the entire Harry Potter series nearly completely memorized.
But he was perhaps most famous (well, infamous) in his school as “Come-on Cronus.” By the time he had finished his sophomore year, every student, teacher, custodian, and even a few parents who came to volunteer could remember at least one instance of Cronus Ampora attempting to make a move on them. The pattern continued until the middle of his senior year, where he was right now. Everyone he ever came into contact with had been at the receiving end of one of his passes.
Everyone, that is, except for a certain short, fluffy-haired boy who had been best friends with him since elementary school. Around him, Cronus never breathed a suggestive word, never made any innuendos.
It was enough to make anyone suspicious. Except probably the boy in question. Kankri Vantas was well-known among the people who actually knew his name for being romantically oblivious. He’d never had a girlfriend, boyfriend, or romantic partner who identified outside the gender binary. He wasn’t the type to crack dirty jokes. Even when he had a fairly obvious crush on Latula Pyrope throughout junior high, it seemed to vanish when she hooked up with Mituna Captor.
Besides, Kankri liked to keep to himself. He always had. People remembered how he acted back in elementary school. During assemblies, he always managed to find his way to the end of the row, nearly a foot away from his nearest neighbor. When the Madrigal choir from the local high school came to sing, they’d often give high-fives to the lines of kids as they filed out the door to their next classes. Except Kankri. He’d wave instead. With the exception of a few pushy individuals, everyone just accepted that this was Kankri’s personality, and there was no point in trying to change that.
Of course there were jokes about how the guy who hit on everyone was best friends with the guy who seemed to not realize romance and sex were things that actually happened. But neither of them seemed to care about those jokes. They were too busy being friends.
One day, as Cronus stared at the book he was supposed to be reading for homework, his phone buzzed. Kankri Alert.
Cronus, I’m getting my molars out next Thursday. Karkat will be at play rehearsal, and my dad probably won’t be in a condition to drive yet. Could you maybe pick me up at 4:30 from the clinic?
Cronus stared at his phone. The text was so Kankri it almost hurt. Using “molars” instead of the more common “wisdom teeth,” the English-paper grammar, the way he asked as though it wasn’t already 150% certain Cronus would agree to the favor. Cronus couldn’t keep from smiling. Kankri probably didn’t realize Cronus would do anything for him.
Because we’re best friends, he told himself. Completely platonic buddies. No dumb crushes, no siree.
Cronus shook his head to ward away the dangerous thoughts that were starting to flock to his brain. He’d been down that road before, and it most definitively wasn’t fun. To distract himself, he tapped the screen of his phone, which had dimmed to save power, and typed out his response.
sure thing, kankri. im surprised you didnt ask porrim. shes a better driver than me. and lives closer.
He watched the little speech bubble with an ellipsis appear almost immediately.
She’d make a big deal out of it. I don’t want everyone to know I’m infirm. It would just be a drain on them. Porrim would tell all our friends about it in a way designed to make them worry about me. And I don’t want that.
haha, whatever you say, chief. either way, im totally cool with picking you up.
Thank you so much, Cronus. I’m sorry to cause you trouble.
dude. youre not causing a single ounce of trouble. youre gonna get a medical procedure done. a necessary medical procedure. and youre gonna be too loopy to get home on your own. this is literally the least i, as your friend, can do.
Oh, don’t say that. You do a lot more for me than you think.
whatever you say dude.
Cronus blushed as he slid his phone back into his pocket. Normally, talking to Kankri didn’t get him this flustered, but… that last sentence. Could it maybe be a sign? That perhaps Kankri secretly harbored affections for him beyond those of best bros?
Cronus sighed and shook his head. He got his hopes up like that almost every time Kankri said anything, but he knew how his best friend was. He liked to keep to himself. To be calm, and reasonable, and emotions beyond those required to be courteous just didn’t seem to fit into his personality. Even though he seemed warmer when they were together than normal, Cronus couldn’t say he’d ever detected anything that could really be interpreted as a romantic advance.
Not that he didn’t try to interpret Kankri’s behavior like that. But whenever he got his hopes up, his brain swooped in from out of nowhere and doused them. What makes you so special? Why would Kankri ever see you as someone wonderful, the way you see him? That’s right. He wouldn’t. And his self esteem would crawl back into the dark cave it had come from.
He didn’t want to embarrass himself by letting anything on to Kankri. It would most certainly ruin their friendship. And as dumb as Cronus often felt he was, he wasn’t enough of a complete idiot to not realize that Kankri’s friendship was infinitely better than no Kankri at all.
It was nearly impossible to hide how bad he had it for the constantly sweater-clad dork. He’d catch himself staring at Kankri’s lips as he rambled, not so much listening to his actual words as drinking in the soft, smooth, high-pitched tone of his beautiful voice. It usually took a few seconds to shake himself back to reality when he finally caught on that Vantas had stopped talking.
The best way to conceal his affections, he reasoned, was to never stop flirting with anyone else. Friends, strangers, teachers, it didn’t matter. The only person who wasn’t a target of his constant, omnidirectional romantic solicitations was one poofy-haired, long-winded Kankri Vantas. Heck, he hit on his little brother more than he did on Kankri.
Wisdom Teeth Thursday came. Cronus bade Kankri good luck as they left the school building, then climbed into the ’50s-style car he had somehow procured when he got his license and drove home.
When he got to his house, he picked up the shopping list he had made on Tuesday. Ice cream, apple juice, oatmeal, tomato soup, yogurt, V8, ice packs. Google had served him well, and it didn’t take too long to pick up all these items, as well as a bottle of ibuprofen, just to be safe.
At 4:20 he was waiting at the clinic, and by 4:35 he was hauling a barely-conscious Kankri to his car. He drove to the Vantas residence, but quickly discovered that their plans had changed when Kankri couldn’t produce his house key. Cronus wasn’t in the mood to dig through his backpack and pockets in an attempt to find it, so he led the drugged boy back to the vehicle.
"Change of plans, Kankri. We’re going to my place until you’ve recovered enough to stay awake."
Kankri’s only response was a groan.
"Don’t worry, you’ll be able to rest soon enough."
Cronus got to his home more quickly than usual, but Kankri had fallen asleep and wouldn’t budge when Cronus tried to move him. Cronus swore under his breath and texted his brother.
eridan youd better be at home right now
Luckily, the reply was nearly instantaneous.
dont get your panties in a twist cro
ive been home for almost an hour
speakin a which where have you been
do you know karkat vantas and his brother?
yeah the dork whos always wearin a sweater
what about them
kankri just had his wisdom teeth out. i need you to help me carry him inside.
Eridan was surprisingly quick to get outside. Cronus thanked him sincerely as the two lifted Kankri out of the car and brought him inside. Once Kankri was on the couch, Eridan bolted for the door.
"Hey, where do you think you’re going?”
"I’m not takin’ care o’ your stupid boyfriend. I’m headin’ out. I’ll text you if I see Kar. An’ tell him to get his ass to his house so he can watch his brother."
"He’s not my boyfriend!" But Eridan had already left.
Cronus sighed and looked at the teenager sprawled across his living room couch. The sight of Kankri’s face, even though it seemed like his jaw was already swelling up, was enough to put a smile on his face.
"Damn, you’re just too adorable," he said. "Wait right there, I’ll fetch you a blanket and some ice for your face."
Cronus didn’t even bother denying the surge of happiness and affection that bubbled through him as he tended to Kankri. He pulled up a chair and set it right by the couch, watching Kankri’s sleeping face. Eventually, he dozed off and slumped in his seat, only to awaken when Kankri did.
"Cronush… Cronush, mah fasche hurtsh. Cronush. Cronush, I needjyoo."
Cronus was immediately right next to Kankri.
"Shh, Kankri, it’s OK. I’m here."
Kankri turned his head and opened his eyes enough to look at Cronus. His eyes widened to almost-fully open and he made a small smile that somehow carried the quality of a face-splitting grin.
"Cronush!"
"That’s right, Kankri, the one and only. What do you need?"
Kankri just smiled at him. Cronus wondered what it felt like to be in the haze of medication. Speaking of which, by the looks of the clock, it was about time for another dose.
"You want your painkillers, Kankri?"
"Yeah."
Cronus helped Kankri take the pills. Once he was finished, he got up to get some apple sauce from the fridge.
"Shtop."
He turned around. Kankri was staring at him with a hand outreached.
"What is it?"
"Don’t leave me," he begged.
"It’s OK, Kankri, I’m just getting you something to eat. I’ll be back before you can count to ten." He then ran to the kitchen and grabbed the apple sauce, spoon, and a small glass dish. When he returned, Kankri seemed to be smirking.
"I got to twelve," he bragged.
"Well, aren’t you quick," said Cronus with a chuckle as he twisted off the lid and scooped the thick, sweet sauce into the dish.
"Open up." He fed Kankri about half the dish, then Kankri shook his head.
"I’m full."
"All righty then." Cronus set down the dish and made to sit down again.
"Shtay wiff me…" whined Kankri.
"Hey, I’m not leaving! Just giving you space so you can rest."
Kankri shook his head. “I don’ wanna sleep.”
Cronus put his head in his hands. “Why not? You need to rest, Kankri.”
"I wanna be with you." Kankri’s eyes seemed a bit clearer than they’d been earlier.
"All right," said Cronus reluctantly. "I won’t make you sleep."
Kankri made Cronus talk to keep him up. At several times, his eyes would close and Cronus would stop, but Kankri would always open his eyes again.
"Keep talkin’. I’m not tired."
This would provoke a laugh. “All right, but you sure look tired.”
After about the third time this happened, Cronus shook his head.
"Kankri, you’ve gotta sleep. You’re not gonna get better otherwise."
"I’ll only sleep if you gimme a kish."
Cronus’ heart stopped. “W-what?”
"Gimme a kiss, and I’ll go to shleep." He jabbed a finger into the center of his forehead. "Right here, on my head."
"Kankri, are you OK?"
Kankri laughed. “Do I look OK?”
Cronus shook his head. “That’s the sanest thing you’ve said since I picked you up.” Vaguely he wondered why the hell neither Eridan nor Karkat had contacted him.
"Come on, gimme a kiss, Cronus. I wan’ you to kiss me."
Believe me, I do too, thought Cronus ruefully. “All right, Kankri. You win.” He pressed his lips to Kankri’s warm, sweaty forehead.
"There, I kissed you. Now go to sleep. I’m going to fetch a washcloth to put on your head — you’re feeling a bit warm."
Kankri didn’t protest, and by the time Cronus returned, he was sleeping peacefully. Cronus leaned forward again and gave his forehead another kiss before putting the damp cloth on it. Kankri sighed in his sleep, and the sound and sight filled Cronus with such overwhelming emotion he couldn’t help but sigh in return.
The phone rang. Cronus dashed to pick it up, but didn’t answer until he’d walked back to the couch to keep an eye on Kankri while he talked.
"Cronus Ampora speaking, how may I help you?" Normally, he’d add some insincere term of endearment, but he was feeling a little stressed at the moment.
A gruff, familiar voice filled the earpiece. “Eridan tells me you’ve got my brother at your place.”
"Yeah… do you want to pick him up? Or for me to take him to your house?"
"No, actually… I was wondering if you could maybe keep him overnight? I can pick him up in the morning — we’ve both got the day off school specifically for this."
"Yeah, no problem, chief," said Cronus, a smile coming to his face. "If you want, I can drop him off at your place with the stuff I got at the store to take care of him."
"You went to the store and got stuff to look after my brother?" Karkat’s incredulity was enough to make Cronus blush. "Wow. That’s… really caring of you. I never knew you actually —"
"Yeah, yeah, I’m a jerk," said Cronus, cutting the younger Vantas off. "But seriously, he’s in no condition to take care of himself. Barely recognizable, really."
Karkat groaned. “Ugh, I suck at this kind of thing. Here’s hoping he’ll be at least marginally better by morning.”
"Yeah, same here. See ya tomorrow."
Cronus hung up the phone and smiled at the still-sleeping Kankri. He yawned, then looked at the clock.
"Oh man," he said aloud. "I didn’t realize it was this late." He fetched his own blanket and curled up in the armchair.
The sound of the door woke him up about two hours later.
"Night, Cro," mumbled Eridan sleepily as he shuffled to his room.
"Night." Cronus was about to go back to sleep again when he heard Kankri moving around. He seemed to be trying to get up. Cronus was on his feet at once.
"What do you need, Kankri?"
"I gotta pee…"
"All right, I’ll steer ya to the bathroom." Cronus propped Kankri up and helped him walk down the hall.
"You’re feeling a bit wobbly on your feet," he said as he turned on the light and ushered him inside, "so I’d advise sitting down. I don’t want to come in there and rescue you while you’re not wearing pants." This gave him an idea.
"Also, I’m gonna fetch some old PJs of mine so you don’t have to sleep in your clothes."
Cronus found a pair of sweatpants and a faded t-shirt that he had grown out of in ninth grade. They looked like they’d fit Kankri’s smaller frame perfectly. Cronus rapped on the bathroom door.
"You finished in there?"
"Yeah."
He opened the door. Kankri was sitting on the closed toilet with his head in his hands.
"Cronus, my head hurts."
"Put these on, I’ll get you your meds."
"Thanks."
"No problem, Kankri," said Cronus as he left to get the medicine. When he returned, he chuckled. Just as he’d expected, the old clothes fit Kankri almost as well as they’d fit Cronus when he had worn them.
This time, Kankri didn’t need any help swallowing the pills.
"You’re doing great, Kankri," said Cronus as they walked down the hallway, Kankri practically draped over his shoulders.
"No, you’re great,” mumbled Kankri.
"If you say so."
Cronus helped Kankri adjust the blanket. Several minutes passed, and Cronus was sure Kankri’d dozed off completely when he surprised him by speaking up.
"I mean it, Cronus. You’re a really great friend, and I’m really glad that you’re taking such good care of me."
Cronus smiled at Kankri. He seemed to be getting more and more lucid by the hour.
"Aw shucks, Kankri, you’re making me blush."
"I don’t care. You’re always saying stuff like ‘oh I’m so dumb. oh I’m not worth anything. I’m not cool.’ But I think you’re really cool. I like you, Cronus. A lot."
"That’s the drugs talking," said Cronus automatically.
"No, it’s the truth," insisted Kankri. "You’re my best friend. I lo—"
"That’s enough," said Cronus, a bit more loudly than he wanted. "Um. Sorry about shouting at you. But really, Kankri, don’t talk about stuff like that until you’re better. You probably won’t even remember today clearly, so don’t go and get my hopes up — uh, say weird stuff you don’t mean. Just… just go to sleep. I’m gonna do the same."
"No, don’t leave…"
"I didn’t say I was going to. I’ll still be right here in case you need me."
"Good." He didn’t say anything after that.
Cronus bit his lip as he sat in silence.
"Kankri, you awake?" No answer.
That meant it was safe. Cronus finally allowed the sob he’d been trying to hold in to escape.
"It’s not fair," he choked through the stream of tears. "I love you so much, Kankri, I can’t stand it. And I’ve always wished you liked me back, but I know that it’s not gonna happen. And I don’t blame you, but it hurts, Kankri. It hurts so much, and… I just don’t know what to do."
He cried silently until, worn out, he fell asleep. Neither he nor Kankri awakened until morning.
"Ugh, I don’t wanna go to school."
"Me neither, Kankri." Cronus was surprised by how chipper his voice sounded. "But the difference between you and me is I have to go today, and you get to stay home. I’m taking you to your house, where Karkat’s gonna take great care of you."
"He’s not as good as you."
"Don’t be silly, he’s your brother. He’ll be great."
"Visit me after school?"
"Don’t worry about it. I’ll be at your house the minute the bell rings."
Cronus loaded Kankri, the ice packs, a few cans of soup, and a carton of ice cream into the car. When they were about halfway there, Kankri started laughing.
"Cronus, I’m wearing your clothes. I’m wearing your clothes, and my clothes are at your house."
"Don’t worry, Kankri. You can keep the pajamas. They don’t fit me anymore."
"What about my clothes?”
"I’ll take care of your sweater for you."
Karkat was waiting at the door when Cronus pulled into the driveway. He came down and supported Kankri while Cronus carried the food and ice packs into the house. He stopped Cronus on his way out.
"Hey, man, thanks again for your help. Seriously, both of us are really grateful."
"Uh… thanks for trusting me to take care of your brother."
Karkat laughed. “Really, it was never really a question. Kankri asked me to do it, and I told him I had play practice and that you’d be a better caretaker than me. I just didn’t expect him to be so out of it he couldn’t get his house key out of his own damn pocket. I’m sorry you had to keep him at your place.”
Cronus shook his head. “Honestly, it wasn’t a problem at all. He was great.”
"Listen, Cronus. I know you like him. And I’m pretty sure he likes you back."
Cronus froze. He tried to open his mouth and talk, but his brain was completely failing to produce words. Why was Karkat telling him this?
"I don’t have a problem with it. Just some advice — make the first move. Get the guts to tell him yourself. If you don’t, he sure as hell isn’t going to initiate anything."
"Uh…"
Karkat retreated into the house.
"Look, it’s about time for you to go to school. You can trust me with my own brother. You don’t have to take my advice if you don’t want to, but the way I see it, it’s the only way you’ll get a chance with him." And with that he closed the door.
Cronus couldn’t focus on anything else for the rest of the day. He pulled his notebook out, but he drew pictures of Kankri. Instead of sitting at the table of friends he normally spent time with when Kankri was occasionally absent, he ate alone at the same place he and Kankri ate almost every day. All day long, the only thing on his mind was Kankri Vantas.
True to his word, he drove to the Vantas home as quickly as he could as soon as he was out of class. He knocked. Surprisingly, Karkat was waiting at the door with a wry smile on his face.
"He seemed to think you’d be here four minutes ago."
"What? I… oh.”
Cronus dashed inside. Kankri was in the middle of a veritable nest of pillows and blankets with a grin on his face.
"It’s been almost five minutes since the bell rang, Cronus."
Hearing Kankri sound so much more like himself than he had hours ago nearly made Cronus’ heart melt. He rushed to Kankri’s side and laughed.
"Yeah, I guess I did exaggerate slightly, huh?"
"I’m wounded, Cronus. I thought you were a man of your word."
"Eh, that’s what happens when you make an impossible promise to someone you’re not expecting to hold you to it."
Kankri laughed. “I’m feeling so much better than I did yesterday. I can’t believe how woozy I was. Some of the things I said…”
Cronus’ heart sank, and he felt his stomach clench. He looked away and tried to smile. Why was it so hard?
"Heh, yeah, you were pretty out of it…"
"Well, don’t worry. I’m still in pain and weak, but at least my head’s clear."
"Of course."
"Cronus, are you all right?"
"Huh? Oh, yeah, I’m fine."
"Look, I know you’re upset about last night."
"I… what? You remember that?"
Kankri cringed. “Vaguely. I was… ugh, I was so…”
Cronus couldn’t say anything. He was too busy dreading what he knew Kankri was about to say. So out of it. So loopy. So tired I was saying I felt things when really I didn’t feel them to the same extent I was making it sound like. His head filled with all the worst possibilities.
"I was so… frustrated. I was trying to tell you how much I appreciated you, and it slipped out. I… oh, I’m so embarrassed, I must have made you feel so awkward…”
"Wait, what?"
Kankri kept talking. “I mean, how horrible did I make you feel? I know I did. Being told that someone likes you when you don’t like him back just feels completely awful, and there I was, running my unguarded mouth without any regards to your well-being.”
"Kankri, what?”
"After all, I wouldn’t want you to feel obligated to return my feelings, or wonder if I was only saying it because you were taking care of me…"
He coughed, and Cronus took his chance.
"Kankri. Stop." He put his hand on the pile of blankets where he assumed Kankri’s chest was. When Kankri’s wide, brown eyes met Cronus’, they seemed almost filled with regret.
"Kankri. That’s… that’s not why I reacted that way. I promise."
Kankri tilted his head. “I actually don’t remember what you said.”
Cronus laughed nervously. You’re on your own, bub, said the part of his brain that liked to beat himself up.
"Well… I thought you were only saying that because you were grateful, like you said… but I also thought it was too good to be true. There was no way, in my head, that you could possibly like me. You’re so wonderful, and I’m…" He gestured at himself. "… Cronus." oh no that better not be another tear no no no no no you are not gonna start crying keep it together Cronus
"Cronus." It wasn’t an echo, but a definitive statement. Cronus looked up, already starting to cry despite his best efforts to keep his composure.
"Stop listening to yourself, and listen to me. I’m the leading authority on my own emotions, and I’m not so drugged up with painkillers anymore. I can think clearly, and I can speak definitively. I. Love. You. And nothing you do will change that.”
And with that, Kankri turned the key to the waterworks. Cronus began bawling like a baby, sobbing incoherently into his hands.
"Come here," cooed Kankri, and he beckoned Cronus to lean into the blanket pile. A pair of arms emerged and put their hands on Cronus’ back. Pat, pat. Pat, pat. When Cronus was done crying, he looked up blearily at Kankri, who was smiling softly.
"Now that you’re feeling better… could you perhaps get me some water? I’m thirsty."
Cronus laughed and stood up.
"Anything you say, Kankri. Anything you say."
Re: The CHALLENGE continues!
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Originally Posted by Kish
