Let's be clear about the problems of modern feminism:

1) "There are feminists out there who are very rude and lack tact", as you said. That's a personal issue, it isn't related to the validity of the ideology itself.

2) The kind of feminism that wishes to deconstruct gender. It's philosophically flawed, bad to politics and social movements because it's wasted energy in an (almost) irrelevant topic, and ultimately bad because while any kind of hard normativity can be uncomfortable or even downright oppresive, the problem isn't the gender binary and actually, the gender binary is positive for humankind. That's how gender feminism, as an ideology and as a political effort, is a problem.

Of course, I agree our society is still sexist, that there is sexism in our hobby and that feminist activists (from all ideological paths) do some really important and admirable work.

But somehow you just creditted all criticism to feminism to lack of common sense or sexism. Feminism is a political movement, acted by real people and it's unrealistic to imagine it wouldn't have it's own flaws and contradictions. But unfortunately, in modern feminism being defensive, paranoid and hostile when criticized isn't considered a bad conduct, but actually the best and most coherent way to go.

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I have not much to comment on the rest of OP because I agree with most of it.

There's much in the hobby that can make women uncomfortable. Most those things just shouldn't be there. For example, references to rape. Pew-pewing monsters is something we all do since we are kids, and it's not always related, in our symbolical comprehension, as violence, but as conquering challenges. But there's no way a player can see rape in such a distant, symbolical and ludical way. There's a reason it does not exist in fairy tales - it just kills the fantasy. And if a player is a survivor, a lot of inner distress will ensue if it is unsensitively mentioned.

Same goes with strenght. In average men are stronger, but PCs aren't the average.

However, there are some things can make a women uncomfortable during a session that I don't know how to easily fix. If I'm going for a more historical or pseudo-historical setting, there will be male dominance of such intensity that most female PCs would be restricted in one way or the other. Many homebuilders decided to leave it like that. What do you think of it?