Ooookay. I'm a little confused as to the fluff. It seems to be entirely divorced from the Great Wheel, which is where the power of narrative originates from, which leaves me wondering where this story came from. I've no issue with the Eberron setting, as I would like to think that the Great Wheel includes all D&D cosmologies (Eberron, Faerun, Pathfinder etc), but without that connection, it feels a little off.

I like the Mythos, ESPECIALLY Millitary Industrial Raison D'etre. I'm thinking of adopting that format for one of the Mythic Hag's mythos. A few things though. Could you explain what a "docent familiar" is? I've never heard of that. The only actual issue I have is "Equal to Master". Who wouldn't choose a spellcaster of some sort given the chance? Perhaps their level is equal to half yours? That's certainly more manageable.