Quote Originally Posted by skim172 View Post
Ah, such naivete. That's the problem with humans, always thinking other races are the same as they are.

See, you all are thinking of halflings as just really small humans. But their biology is utterly different. Unlike humans, halfling bodies are composed entirely of muscle, from skull to hairy feet. This explains how Belkar can leap and flip several times his height despite having stubby little legs - the raw force packed in that dense musculature is like the explosion of several atomic bombs in a single bound.

In fact, halflings are so densely-packed with muscle that the very atoms in their bodies have collapsed under their own gravity into material akin to that of a neutron star. Such is the amount of strength Belkar has. The gravity he generates is so intense that he requires the strength of several gods just swing and move his arms - this is the only reason he doesn't obliterate every enemy with a mere flick of a fingernail.

As for why he only "weighs" thirty pounds, the neutronic composition of a halfling's body is such that technically, he exerts more gravity on the planet than it does on him. When he leaps and jumps around, he's actually pushing the planet around under his feet.

Incidentally, this is why you never see a group of halflings together. Their collective gravitational force could rip apart fabric of space-time. No halfling can ever spend too much time near another halfling, lest they end the planet as they know it. They live solitary lives, separated from their own mothers from infancy, for the sake of the planet. It is a grave burden they bear...

Which is, incidentally, why they're all sociopathic munchkins.They're very disturbed little singularities - and they have no brains, just coiled muscle tissue in their skulls, and collapsed miniature black holes in place of a soul.
Thank you.

This is why I come here every day.