Quite a conundrum.
Sex can be used to establish personality of the characters and strengthen themes. My favorite piece of fiction is Katawa Shoujo, Lilly's story. I can see how it would often be used poorly in fanfic, and there's a lack of proper distinguishing between "stories that don't pull punches" and "this is porn". Katawa Shoujo manages to do sex scenes while keeping things fairly minimal, though definitely still at mature levels.Call me innocent, but I'm really just down for stories that can deal with themes other than sex. I've hit my saturation point with using sex to sell stuff/entice views.