Quote Originally Posted by AuthorGirl View Post
Yeah. That sounds best. I mean, no way I'm dropping out of the D&D campaign (that would just make all my friends mad), but I can handle that much contact. I love talking to him and I don't want to hurt his feelings, but you're right that I need time. Our conversations are 80% calculated half-truth these days anyway, at least on my side.
Yeah, that's not good at all.

Can I just say something about hurting his feelings? That is okay. He just hurt your feelings very much but that doesn't make him a bad person or mean that he doesn't care for you. It means he made a decision that was necessary. It seems he is trying to minimize hurt by being friendly (and by being vague about the breakup, which is the worst hurt-reduction technique in history and has never let to anyone feeling less hurt and confused - but immature and cowardly people still keep using it! (sorry, tangent)). But he hurt your and he had to do it for his own piece of mind.

You get to hurt him a little bit in return. Not vindictively, of course, that would make no sense, but if it would hurt him to not talk to you daily for a few months, alright. That's the cost he'll pay for breaking up with you, and he knows this. If it would hurt him to know that you're actually feeling sad about this, good, that means he's a good friend, that means he'll know to support you in whatever you choose.

If his feelings are hurt because you have to react reasonably to something hurtful he did, that's fine. It's fine to let him share a little bit of the burden he has put on you. Which is not to say he needs to be the person you lean on, because that's a baaaaaad idea, but if your boundaries hurt him, that's okay. You get to think of yourself, too.

Quote Originally Posted by Luz View Post
Should I end a relationship because I realized I’m demanding too much of the person I’m with and not giving anything back in return?

I’m also not in the position to give anything back in return anytime soon.

Am I being abusive?
Breaking up with someone "for their own good" is never not super condescending.

Not giving as much as you get is not inherently abusive. Just be honest with the person about your circumstances and how much is likely gonna change, and let them make their own decisions. No coercion or condescension, just open communication.

Unless you need to break up because your guilt is eating at you (which is reasonable enough, sometimes we don't want to be the kind of person a certain relationship enables in us), but then recognize that you're doing it for you, not for their sake.