Quote Originally Posted by Glass Mouse View Post
Yeah, that's not good at all.

Can I just say something about hurting his feelings? That is okay. He just hurt your feelings very much but that doesn't make him a bad person or mean that he doesn't care for you. It means he made a decision that was necessary. It seems he is trying to minimize hurt by being friendly (and by being vague about the breakup, which is the worst hurt-reduction technique in history and has never let to anyone feeling less hurt and confused - but immature and cowardly people still keep using it! (sorry, tangent)). But he hurt your and he had to do it for his own piece of mind.

You get to hurt him a little bit in return. Not vindictively, of course, that would make no sense, but if it would hurt him to not talk to you daily for a few months, alright. That's the cost he'll pay for breaking up with you, and he knows this. If it would hurt him to know that you're actually feeling sad about this, good, that means he's a good friend, that means he'll know to support you in whatever you choose.

If his feelings are hurt because you have to react reasonably to something hurtful he did, that's fine. It's fine to let him share a little bit of the burden he has put on you. Which is not to say he needs to be the person you lean on, because that's a baaaaaad idea, but if your boundaries hurt him, that's okay. You get to think of yourself, too.
That's good advice, thank you.

Yeah, as for the hurt-reduction strategy, I agree with you 100%. It doesn't help. It especially doesn't help when someone says "I haven't forgotten about us, let's try again in maybe half a year" and then finds somebody new in the same week. (Is my bitterness showing?)

Anyway. Sticking to neutral conversation ("Hi, how was your day? That's nice.") works well, it lets us at least keep seeming like friends - which is good because, no matter how hurt I feel, I'm still going to try my best not to spread it around. Sure, it's a little cold, but maybe that'll help teach me to stop hoping for another chance. As there is no reason to hope for that.

Moderate distance works. Now I guess I'm just waiting for everything to settle down inside.