There's this sentiment going around, that in a good relationship both people feel like they're getting more than they give, and somehow the math works out. It's pretty apt.
Ugh ugh ugh uuuugggh. I mean, I understand the feeling behind it (it's been 2/3 of a year since I broke up with my ex and I'm still holding out hope that we'll somehow magically work out one day). But it's just cruel to involve the other person in your lies to yourself.