Relationship Woes and Advice XXVIII: Happy and Perfect!

[kyoryu]

That's good advice, thank you.

Yeah, as for the hurt-reduction strategy, I agree with you 100%. It doesn't help. It especially doesn't help when someone says "I haven't forgotten about us, let's try again in maybe half a year" and then finds somebody new in the same week. (Is my bitterness showing?)

Anyway. Sticking to neutral conversation ("Hi, how was your day? That's nice.") works well, it lets us at least keep seeming like friends - which is good because, no matter how hurt I feel, I'm still going to try my best not to spread it around. Sure, it's a little cold, but maybe that'll help teach me to stop hoping for another chance. As there is no reason to hope for that.

Moderate distance works. Now I guess I'm just waiting for everything to settle down inside.

You're hurt. You have a right to be. You don't need to be friends. You can seem like friends, but you're under no obligation to do anything else.

Especially since his actions were, well, kinda bull****.

But really, it's pretty rare to stay friends with your ex, regardless of what people claim. What's slightly more common is to become friends with them *again* at some point in the future. But you're not there. Don't be there. It's not your job to make him feel better. Outright hostility probably doesn't help either, but polite distance is perfectly cool.

Did he get back together with crush-girl or was it someone totally different?