Quote Originally Posted by FinnLassie View Post
Meeting up with the guy went ok. Still reserved about the whole deal - maybe I'm not ready for a relationship right now.
Spoiler: but oh Lord the mess I am in
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I guess the fact that I have three guys interested in me at the current moment makes me confused altogether. Like... there is a possibility that I don't have to pick the first guy. Not saying that I am gonna start two-timing with these guys, never. But the whole concept of someone actually finding me attractive, especially more than one... it's a new one for me.
I used to think that I alone have to make the active moves and decisions, be quick before the first suitable guy disappears. I hope this makes sense...
Ah. Yes. "I'd better nail this down because I won't have a chance again". It's a popular frustration before people hit the point of "anyone I'm into doesn't notice me, and anyone who likes me leaves me feeling cold".

The early stages of a crush are fun. Enjoy them. But the early dating stages are also about getting a sense of how well you two mesh before you commit heavily. So for now, enjoy the feeling and go out and have low-stakes fun with him. If you're compatible, you'll still be compatible a month down the line and you'll be better positioned to DTR. If not, you got to enjoy the process and learn more about yourself. Take some deep breaths, don't stress, and just enjoy the process for what it is.

Quote Originally Posted by georgie_leech View Post
So between the people I've met online going for one date and then vanishing, and actually asking the friends I've asked out who declined, I've come to the conclusion that while I'm not a major creep or otherwise turning people away, but... Well, I apparently give off no sense of chemistry. Like, if I were a character in a dating sim, I'd be a background supporting cast with no stat screen; you wouldn't even think about if I would be fun to date.

So... how do I go about changing that? Vague, broad advice would be helpful, as I have no idea where to start.
Spoiler: How about some vague advice about broads?
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(Mentally put a blue filter on that whole picture if you like.)

Serious advice? The best way to not stand out is to try and appeal to everybody. That just leads to focus-grouped blahness.

I don't know what you like. But find your shtick and own it.* Even if you wind up turning some people off. You don't get points for a lot of people saying "they're okay, I guess". You want to stick in people's heads, and be particularly likely to click to people who are highly compatible with you. So find things you like doing - particularly active doing type things over passive fanboyish consumption - and go in whole hog.

*(There are a couple of advanced topics here, like how it's okay to tweak yourself a little if you have an explicit type you like and you want to preferentially appeal to them. Or as counter-advice to the last point, how you should be mindful that you don't hyper-specify "your type" to the point that they're not practically - or literally - nonexistent. But for the basics, "find your shtick and go all in" is a good place to start.)