TW: Descriptions of deaths
You're right, it's not the 50s. You don't have an excuse to be ignorant of what happens to trans folks the world round, and why some might fear coming out.
edit: Maybe you're trying the whole "tough love" thing to try to encourage them? You're supposed to encourage folks to overcome their fears with that tactic, though, not dismiss them. Something like "you're never pleasantly surprised if you never make an effort" or something like that would be significantly more appropriate in tone.