Relationship Woes and Advice XXVIII: Happy and Perfect!

[Lacco]

Honestly, if in a year I've managed to be happy in a good relationship, you get the best chocolate I can find. I suggest shaving it onto fresh strawberries and adding Devonshire cream.

I have no problem with a bet . However, no idea where to get Devonshire cream

However, my assumptions are:
- the "time limit" starts once you hit the "I'm not against new relationship but I'm fine with being single",
- you have to work towards the goal, not against it,
- you have to start meeting new people.

Agreed?

Umm, no, I mean I haven't had a conversation with anyone I didn't already know since . . . probably Christmas? With the exception of one friend-of-a-friend who's now part of my tiny social circle.

Umm... so, you don't meet new people but you met new friend-of-a-friend?

Should I ask what are the reasons? Or should I leave at the fact that you actually meet new people, just rather rarely?

Alternately, I could write more books.

I have found out that my biggest bursts of creativity come at two times: when there's nothing else to do to amuse myself, and when I'm having rather powerful unhappy feelings.

No, I mean he already found and broke up with another girl since me, and I'm still having trouble with this decision.

It's hard to decide to stay alone.

But you forget: you are not alone. Just single.

Yes, I'm completely disgusted with myself, why do you ask?

One thing my sister always does (I'm not a big fan of this, but she's a woman and she deals with things differently than I do) is... don't be disgusted with yourself. Be disgusted with him - he's the one who's pulling you through this mud, if he were such a great catch, he wouldn't do this to you and he would be up front.

Become disgusted with him. It might help.

Actually, there's a reasonable chance for one or two, and even my common sense agrees with that.

That's actually nice!

Let's take a look at the wider picture: One or two out of...? And will the others - the ones that stay - still make the relationship so unbearable that we'll have the same discussion later?

Maybe? I honestly doubt it.

Ok, so why did you break up? Don't answer me. Just answer yourself - if you are compatible, what happened?

How many years? Three, maybe? While constantly feeling pathetic and ashamed? (No, no it was not the same guy, I'm not quite that unable to look after myself.)

It was three years for me too.

And let me tell you - it was worth it. The three years. Because I now remember that time - and when I was again placed in unhappy relationship, I ended it. Just for the reason that it's not worth waiting for someone who does not want to work on the relationship - or be in it. Because someone else might be much better match - and will stay and work through the bad times.

A little bit like. Then again, you said all the things I'd say to my best friend if she were in my place.

Apologies.

But yes, I would do that for a friend of mine anytime.