Relationship Woes and Advice XXVIII: Happy and Perfect!

[Coidzor]

One thing I've noticed for myself is that after my first relationship, physical looks matter, but not to the same degree they used to. And because of that, I've found myself generally only rarely attracted to anyone because it requires repeated exposure to get to know them. Or at least a thorough conversation, and I'm just not social enough for either to happen save online where I filter everything through a lens of 90's paranoia about strangers on the internet.

I often seem to find that my search criteria are out of sync with others. Likely because my values are atypical, but I'm unsure. I remember being younger and being interested in women physically, but while that still happens it feels.... distant. I feel detached, like I'm just acknowledging "Yes, she's good looking." And then it ends there because I know nothing about them.

Sometimes it feels like I'm trying to find a person while everyone's trying to offer me mask wearing flesh puppets. Yes, you have nice [insert female sexualized feature here]. So does roughly 50% of the population. Why should I care?

Well, that got a bit off tangent... but yeah. Three people a year sounds about right I suppose. Presuming those numbers aren't inflated by deliberate search.

That's fairly concerning. Have you spoken to anyone professional to make sure there's not something going on psychologically or hormonally?

I'm no psychiatrist, but viewing people as not being people seems like very dangerous territory.

Well, my relationship went down in flames (again). I was kind of in free-fall and feeling nothing about it for a few days, but now I guess it's hit home. I feel hurt, confused, bitter, lonely, disappointed, discarded, and rather pathetic (just like I was repeatedly warned I would).

I guess I'm mostly venting here, but any how-to-get-over-a-breakup advice would be welcome.

Delete Facebook and otherwise make sure you can't get information about and fixate on your ex or the past relationship.

Mourn.

Hit the gym and otherwise invest in your physical health and fitness, since if you don't make a point to take care of that, it's liable you might slip in that regard and then feel even worse, compounding the problem.