Running the game you CAN run (Or "Gaming compromises in adult life")

[Lacco]

As someone who is the only father in a group, and - incidentally - the only available GM in my RL group, it's rather difficult to run long-term, prep-heavy games. Regular scheduling? What's that...?

All my players are childless, mostly single people. I'm not. We had to come to an agreement (or stop playing RPGs and move to tabletop games). Luckily, they like playing with me - and they are great group.

We are now meeting irregularly, based on when I'm available. I give them two or three options and based on their availability we schedule a weekend (a full weekend) in a rented cottage somewhere near where I live. I provide full weekend of gaming (8+ hours of RPGs per day; yeah, my head hurts when we end) and they provide transportation and lodging. All chip in for food.

What works:

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Delegating

This is a big one!

Delegate tasks you don't have to do. It will help.

Both during game and before. I love world-building. But there's just no time if I want to have some preps. So I don't do world-building for games, or I do it long before the game (piece by piece).
At the table, players help me build the world - I ask for inputs and they are usually more than glad to provide it. Some of them are rather good at this and can provide colorful locations, NPCs, hooks - anything I need. And those who are not? I don't ask them too much and if I do, I tell them to think about it for few moments or get help from other players and I return to them after few minutes. If you know your players, you know how to do it. "You turn around and notice your old rival, Akbarah. You know, the one that hates you since... well, you tell them." I have a player who can produce a story that entertains the whole table and introduces several plot hooks on such cue. He's bad with names, so I keep a list handy, but the stories he tells give me few minutes of breathing time/prep time during game. And if he says something I don't like, I can disregard it - his character is known braggart. I also have a player who's good for inspiring me for names.

You know the one about "herding gamers"...? Don't. Save your time. Pick one of your players, let them do it. You put out your available dates/times, they arrange the group. Takes a lot of work out of your shoulders.

Also: during combat I have two or three players who act as enemies. During the whole weekend we usually run several combat encounters - and in one or two cases I ask players (usually beforehand) to give me a hand. They get handed information on the opponent (pre-written on a card) and when the battle begins, they get full control of the opponent (with direct instruction to "harm but not kill"). It adds to drama and sometimes makes things rather interesting. However, this works due to me running specific RPG.

Also: when I wanted to do an expedition-style game (fantasy point/dungeoncrawl), I gave the players the overland map before (not the GM map of course!) so they could "discuss" in tavern (chatroom) which way to take. They ended up plotting their plan on the map. I used it for preps.

Make them create the map. Give them list of locations, distances, work with what they prepare. Fill in details as you see fit.

Any tasks you don't like? Or that take too much time? Delegate.

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When at table, focus on good parts

I have a weekend to play. I can't afford to lose time - I need to keep players - and myself - entertained. It helps a lot, because we usually skip through the "boring" parts. However, last time we had a travel-focused expedition-style weekend game and it was fun!

Hexcrawls are wonderful idea - I love them, as idea. I would love to play one. I can't. It just does not work with my time schedule.

Pointcrawls are much better. Story-focused player-driven games? Great. What works best is enclosed environment with strong story behind, yet with player agency. They have to get meaningful choices - but it shouldn't make me prep a large map.

I used "random encounter table" for the expedition. But it was tailored to the area - and it did not contain any simple "combat encounters". Each of them was focused on being entertaining, providing interesting roleplaying opportunities, sense of wonder, to breathe life to the world. I almost derailed the expedition with one of them - because it proved to be so interesting.

Would it be bad? No, they were enjoying themselves.

In this case, I don't mind skipping through combat if they are clearly plowing through the opposition - and the players wouldn't either. "Few moments later, you are cleaning your weapons as you count the dead bodies of your opponents". If it's dramatic - let them fight. If not, push space to skip.

At one point, I let every one of them go one or two rounds against the opponent (they were weak, but there was few of them). When I saw how they fared against them, I asked for tactics rolls from the party tactician and then asked everybody to describe how they continue the fight. We went only with narration. The party wizard got into a tight spot, and nobody went back to help him? Well, he got wounded lightly. Did he like it? Nope. But he accepted it and started blasting (he held back the magic until then). They won (of course, against weak enemy) but were quite tired.

Also: if you have "level-up" mechanics, or shopping or something, the weekend gaming works great. When you come to the table, everybody should be prepared (if he's not, you just write down anything you like on his sheet - it's their choice). Shopping during adventure? Well, what are the kitchen breaks for? I have grown so accustomed to having 2-gaming day time, that I automatically put a natural "break" for the PCs to shop or something similar between first and second gaming day.

Also: if they are new characters, let them play the opening scene before you arrive. In the car. Over the internet. Over letters. When you arrive at the location and sit at the table, the game starts - but the story should already be in motion and characters should already know what they want to do...

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Enclosed environment and narratives

If you have a weekend for gaming, you need to be able to close the story at the end of the weekend. There's nothing less satisfying than "Aww, we did not make it, but if you did, you would see SPOILERS!" or "We'll continue next time... in 3 months".

So do shorter stories. Make smaller maps. Make it personal, but make it so you can "end" on the last day.

Enclosed environment helps you and them - the analysis paralysis works both ways and you can provide better content this way. Make sure everybody's on board.

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As little prep as possible

Choose a system where you don't have to prep as much - and you know how to prep fast. Do changes on the fly.

Don't make any prep you are not 100% sure you need. Your time is limited.

Don't prepare for X contingencies - and definitely don't prepare anything that's "filler".

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Also, think of this as the one possibility for experimenting. Do fun one-shots. Try new systems, new games. Do episodic play!

If the "weekend gaming" does not suit you, then make a list of games you want to run and let your players sign up for them and find a date when you CAN play and they CAN attend. Try out new and interesting mechanics, homebrew - this is something you can do.

Make it a short one-shot. Works? Extend it for second session.

Don't make grand projects - you'll have time for that later. Keep a list of things you want to try.

And don't worry - it will get better. Good luck