Personal Woes and Advice 5

[ve4grm]

So things got a lot worse at my job from when I last posted. My boss ended up bullying me to the point where I was having suicidal thoughts, she threatened to fire me for having a panic attack and I'm 80% sure but can't prove that she installed spyware on my computer and was monitoring me. So yeah, I quit effective December 1st.

My issue now is what to say on job applications for reasons for leaving and whether I should or should not say they can contact my former boss. And if I say "no" what the professional way to explain what happened is.

I would say no because there is no point in giving contacts to a bad reference. As far as reasons for leaving, you could say that you were treated unprofessionally by your boss and you found yourself in a unhealthy workplace.

My statement above regarding the value of my two cents stands for this as well.

Do you have a collegue at your current work you could puf as a reference that could verify the problems you were having?

Here's the thing: you're going to be asked why you left your last job, especially without something else lined up. You need some reason to give. There aren't any reasons, other than downsizing, that aren't some sort of red flag. Sure, "health reasons" isn't completely ideal, but ANY form of badmouthing your previous employer is much, much worse, even if they totally deserved. Acting like you just decided to quit without something else lined up is also bad. "Health reasons" is at least something that doesn't look like you flaked out for no reason or that you're difficult to get along with or prone to drama.

Note that you don't have to explain the "health reasons", or say they were mental health related, and you can immediately transition into saying why the new role is attractive.

Right, so I left my last job for similar reasons. I didn't have a new job lined up yet when I gave my notice, though I was lucky enough to get one quickly. So I'm going to speak from my experience.

My advice is to be honest, but vague. You do need to give a reason, but you don't need to go into detail. When I was asked why I moved across the country for a job, and left after only 5 months, I did this. I think my actual statement was:

"I don't want to get into details, as I don't wish to badmouth anyone, but I left to escape a hostile atmosphere that had developed, which was starting to affect my well-being."

Don't elaborate from there. You can answer specific questions if asked, but don't volunteer more information than required.

Everybody, literally EVERYBODY, has dealt with hostile coworkers before. Most not to the degree they'd quit, but they generally understand the concept, and usually get how it could be bad enough to leave. In general, this will assuage any red flags more than a vague "health reasons" as well.

Additionally, nobody is willing to believe that they'll cause a hostile workplace, so you bypass a lot of the "what if they leave here" questions. You obviously won't leave here in the same way! We're not hostile and abusive!

I'll admit I was lucky, in that both of the people interviewing me had actually left jobs for harassment reasons as well. One of them even had left the same company I had just quit, though because of a different person. But I think most people, especially HR folks, understand this kind of situation and the need to get out of it.

As for a reference, if you have a colleague who can give you one that can work, but ask them not to address the harassment if possible, except to confirm that it was happening. But not providing a reference is also ok, as long as you have other references to take up the slack. If you don't, then it's trickier.