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“Good evening, everyone. Hail Lyrae, may her rays always shower us with beneficence and protect us from the ravages of the Night-Moon.”
“Right. With that out of the way, let’s get straight to it. Big things are happening, people, very big things. Turns out, we’re not alone in the universe. That big message that kept replaying over and over again? Turns out it wasn’t from the stars, but a call to meet with others like us. Like you and me, the children of Lyrae. Our goddess still stands alone, but we, her offspring, have found a universe full of people just like us.”
“Or are they? That’s the kicker, isn’t it? Are they like us or are they monsters here to steal our pups and eat our brains? We would invite experts on the show to shout at each other for your amusement, but there are no experts to call. Not yet anyway. So it looks like you’re stuck with me, Awhl Hahl, newswolf extraordinaire.”
“I’m going to tell it to you straight, folks. There are good people out there, there are monsters out there, and some are stuck in between. Yet they all have one thing in common, see, and you must always remember it: they are NOT Lyraens. And I don’t just mean physically or mentally. They don’t have a star to call their parent, who gave life and warmth and guidance throughout their history. And so, while we may mingle with them and, yes, even befriend them, we must be cautious. We cannot afford to adopt any idea that undermines who and what we are. What works well for them may not work well for children of the gods.”
“And now, the actual news.”
“With the advent of galactic diplomacy, the Ascended One declared that, within the next two cycles, all current combat-capable craft will be converted for FTL travel, with plans drawn up for the creation of more from scratch in the future. By the end of the first phase, Lyrae’s personal fleet and the fleets of both House Gutri and House Vulk will be capable of travelling, well, almost anywhere in the galaxy.”
“House Gutri has started a massive recruitment drive, calling any Lyraen who is strong of body and fond of adventure to join them. House Vulk has sent out a similar call, but the head of their house, Ool Vulk, said, and I quote, “Any Lyraen who seeks fluffy-tailed and exotic aliens to meet and [Censored], come join me! All the finest wines and women in the galaxy shall be ours!”
“Ool Vulk has received an official reprimand from the Ascended One herself, to which he extended an invite for her to join him and ‘work things out in private’. Ool Vulk has henceforth been banned from Lyrae’s Palace, except when performing official functions.”
“House Oblorn and House Lan, having but the shattered remnants of their fleets after the Great War, will wait for the new designs to begin production before they field fleets of their own again.”
“In the meantime, these two houses are charged with taking a few, small ships and searching through two of our neighboring sectors along the so-called ‘Galactic Core’ and seek out other, awakened godstars. We wish them well, for at the moment, Lyrae stands alone.”
“Ayl Lan swore to never return until she found another like Lyrae, however she was prevented from departing by a sudden ailment and missed the beginning of her expedition. She begged the Ascended One’s forgiveness on hands and knees until asked to stop because, and again, I quote, “Ayl, you’re creeping me out. Please stop.” Ool Vulk, who was in the process of being thrown out at the time, declared that he, for one, appreciated the view.”
“Ool Vulk is henceforth barred from entering any of House Lan’s estates, official business or no.”
“Tur Oblorn, meanwhile, has begun experiments with the crystals bless with Lyrae’s light that scatter our home region. He hopes that, with modern mystical and scientific techniques, he can come to a greater understanding of them and perhaps develop new ways of enchanting on a massive scale. “Modern problems require modern solutions,” he said. He also took the time to deny any and all claims about him being a necromancer and swore he was just a wolf trying to raise a family.”
“He also took the opportunity to call Ool Vulk an arrogant brat and apologize on behalf of Lyraen’s everywhere to anyone who had to interact with him. “In this instance,” he said, “We have truly failed as a species.”
“Tur Oblorn is welcome anytime on the lands of House Vulk. Whether he’ll be allowed to leave alive is a different matter entirely.”
“When informed of this, the Ascended One rebuked them both. “We do not need another war, not with so many potential enemies surrounding us.” The wisdom of this has been generally acknowledged and House Oblorn and Vulk have begun looking for other ways to settle their scores. Baking contests, however, were ruled out, much to the disappointment of anyone who’s tried Rhim Vulk’s cooking.”
“And that’s the news. Be ever watchful and on guard. May Lyrae bless you and the moon not take you.”
“Goodnight. And good luck.”
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