Quote Originally Posted by Scientivore View Post
There were many reasons why Parson was summoned instead of one of his gaming buddies, including that they weren't obsessive losers who wanted out. Here, this comes up so much that I've transcribed the whole dialogue of Page 17 for us.
So, eliminating "All these physical requirements", we have:


Stanley: "...
"Now think. I want a guy who's commanded all different kinds of battles.
"I want him to be obsessed with war. Somebody who plans wars and kills his foes for fun.
"I want a guy who snacks on gwiffons and eats Marbits for BREAKFAST!
"... Get me somebody who actually wants to be summoned."

Wanda: "Yes Lord."

Stanley: "...
"Everything should seem familiar and safe to him. No crazy surprises."

Wanda: "..."

Stanley: "Oh all right, find your genius. Just make him BIG, okay?
"Can you do that much, Commander?"

And we have a description of Lord Hamster.