So, between the rejection I'm dealing with and the physical isolation, no school, no work, I'm spending more time in my own brain. I forgot that my brain's a pretty dark, scary place.

For a while now, I've been feeling like the best thing I can do for anyone is to not exist. Yeah. I'm going there. I'm sorry.

Spoiler: TW: Thoughts of suicide
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I called the national suicide hotline for the first time. I've felt bad before, but I can't remember the last time I've felt this bad. I feel pathetic and useless, and I can't get a certain thought out of my head-- If I died, how long before anyone noticed?