"Me thinks that maybe this guy is the byzantine conspiracy guy and he's trying to send you off on a wild goose chase to keep you from discovering his evil plans."

"Maybe we should just make an anonymous call to CPS about his kid's delinquent behavior. They'll investigate his house, probably take the kid away while investigating the home, put her ub foster care where she'll probably be killed by fundies in a botched exorcism because they saw her supernatural powers as proof that she's been possessed by Satan."