[Beach Party - Sun-A-Way Stand]

Fortunately for the good doctor, his more off-putting thoughts tend to be left unsaid. Once Marin brings up the bit about statistics, Dr. Valiance scratches at his chin, casually adjusting his teashade sunglasses in the process. She brought up a good point! He didn't take her for much of a statistician by her appearance, what a pleasant surprise! Shows him for taking her at face value. "Hm, that's a good point, actually." With a shrug, the man taps his fingers up against the stand. "I didn't come up with the numbers myself." A lie, he made them up right on the spot. "However, I'd assume they used some kind of calculation to determine relative age set against a human baseline."

He nods, squinting thoughtfully. "So, like. If the average elf lives five times as long as a human being, you just multiply the human age by five, and voila! In this case, seventy times five is three-hundred and fifty, sooooo! One in five elves will develop sun cancer by three-hundred and fifty years of age. Er, skin cancer." Dr. Valiance clasps his hands together before exhaling somewhat. "Ah, but it doesn't really matter, does it?" Then, she mentions something about a brand. Oh no. He had completely forgotten to think up a fake brand, or even create a crappy little website for people to search up. That's... such an enormous oversight. Yikes.

With a vacant smile, he comes up with a quick fib. "Oh, um. It's on the bottle, actually. Sun-A-Way. They... they make sunscreen."

"E-enjoy the... sand!"

--

The lotion itself is cool to the touch, its texture pleasant. Beyond its apparent function as sunscreen, it seems to serve as an excellent moisturizer. After about thirty minutes of being exposed to sunlight, however, the lotion will begin to sting and form rashes upon Marin's flesh.

Something was wrong.