So, three droids (including a tactical droid) were spotted wandering the grasslands of Naboo and shot down by Captain Tycho. Nothing in the episode ever explains why the hell they were out in th eopen like that. Which sets nicely the average Seaparatist brainpower in this one. Urgh. fearing that this is the early stage of an invasion, Senator Padmé Amidala and... and... Why are you doing this to me, Filoni? and
representative. Jar. Jar. Binks... *deep sigh* arrive back on their homeworld. This is the third Jar Jar episode in one season. Why oh why? George Lucas is listed as executive producer, was he still under the impression that children loved the character? Did Filoni thought he could reedeem him? Did a network bigwig set a non-negotiable minimum of "hilarious" goofiness a season? I just don't understand. He's had more screen-time than Cody, Yoda and Windu put together! He's had more screen time than Padmé! Whyyyyyyyyyyy? *incontrollable sobbing*
...
Ahem.
...
Senator Padmé Amidala and Representative Jar Jar Binks arrive back on their homeworld. IS there any reason as to why two politicians supposed to represent their respective people in the galactic scene one of which is supposedly leading the effort to find a peaceful end to the war would leave their post to enquire in matters of security? Silly, Fyr, Naboos don't need reasons to do stuff. They are greeted by Naboo's absurdly teenage queen and Tycho and taken to an operating room where a
medical droid is
operating on the tactical
droid in order to cut his optic receptors and trick him into believing he is on a Separatist warship and about to be debriefed and commended by count Dooku. This would almost be clever if there was any reason stated why they couldn't hack into his memory like they did
in the last episode and like they will hack into one of the B1s later in this very episode. Amazingly 3PO manages to mess this up before Binks as he gets excited when the droid mentions both a virus and a laboratory and asks for the location of the lab. Not to worry, Jar Jar is not far behind as he's spent the entire interrogation chasing a butterfly who crept out of one of the B1's casing and ends up collapsing the shelves onto the tactical droid crushing its computing unit. Great frickking job. Jar JAr manages to compensate by explaining that the butterfly is only native to one specific swamp on the planet which, coupled with the mud on the droids tell them where to find the lab. So not only is this the third Jar JAr episode but it also is the third "the Separatists havea secret weapon episode".
This is going to be a great day!
They talk with Yoda and windu over hologram who decide to send up a couple Jedi investigate. Padmé immediately requests for
her booty call Anakin and Obi-Wan arguing that the gugngan trust Obi-Wan like one of their own. Surprised they passed on a chance to have her say he has good relations with the gungans. But the fact that there are people qualified to deal with this sort of situations will not deter Padmé from her urge to go investigate herself right now. With no escort at all. And Jar Jar, so like a negative escort, actually. This is a terrible idea that will cause basically the entire conflict of the next episode by the way. She and Jar Jar put on some hazardous environment protection suits (Behold! The only sensible decision in this entire episode!) and meet with a confused gugan whose cattle were poisoned by the river they drank from. This gungan is called Peppi, which sould a lot like "pipi" wich is French for "pee" aptly summarizing my opinion of this whole episode. Convenient! There's a dumb fight between Peppi and Jar Jar (fortunately, my fear that this was a prelude to getting Jar Jar a girlfriend in the form of Peppi seems unsubstantiated) before she points them in the direction of the swamps. Because they didn't think to bring a map despite knowing the name of the place they were headed to. Peppi also explains that the disease is in the water so the hazmat suits are overkill and they take them off. Inside the swamp they find a metallic hatch on the ground so Padmé asks for a geological scan of the area. However they were noticed by a scope and a mad scientist type with a stupid fake german accent (****'s sake.) sends some droids to take them prisoner because he could use some more test subjects. And by test subjects he means "people to rant to for hours while mass production of my product is almost done). The mad scinetist show Padmé and JAr Jar a tiny vial contening a blue smoke and explains he's created an airborn strain of the deadly
Bloo Shaydo wirus Blue Shadow virus which he intends to let loose of the galaxy as revenge for the eradication of the earlier, waterborne, strain. He then puts the virus in a bomb and hands it to a rodent-like droid (literally called "rabbit droid" in the credits) while mentionning it's the last one. Oh and he has a lighting rod, presumably so he can yell "It's alive!" in his ridiculous german accent.(did you know that Victor Frankenstein was a French-speaking swiss in the original?)
Obi-Wan and Anakin and Ahsoka (buy a Master and a Knight and get a padawan for free!) land on Theed and are greeted by Tycho and Peppi. Tycho explains the situation and get a dressign down from Anakin for letting
his wife the Senator into danger. Anakin then sends Ahsoka with Peppi to the swamp before the briefing is even done. Sure, sure, send the civilian into the battlezone, standard Jedi tactic #420. Tycho shows thema recording pried from one of the battle droid of the mad scientist ranting about the Blue Shadow and identify him as Dr. Vindi (I am relieved this isn't a pun on his obvious real-life inspiration). Obi-Wan states that if Vindi manages to plant his bom bs on key systems, as he syas he intends to, the resulting pandemic will make the war look like small potatoes. Which brings me to my question. WHAT IN THE HOLY BLAZES IS THIS PLAN!? Why is this secret lab on a nnemy planet rather than a Separatist controlled one or a neutral one like last time? And, more importantly, why is Dooku even supporting this? He was skeptical about the defoliating weapon and this one had a clear controllable purpose. The way they talk about this virus it would leave the Sith ruling a galaxy of corpses and they have no guarantee of not being infected either! What's the point of this! I mean I guess that Dooku and Sidious intentionnally staffed the Separatist top brass with despicable people as a way to ramp up the war casualty and fuel the anti-non-human prejudice of the core world so they can use that as foundation for the Empire, but this is utterly out of proportions!
Anyway, Anakin gets really worried about Padmé. Kenobian glare. Senator Amidala (Have I mentionned how much he sucks at this "secret" romance thing?)
Tycho shows them a plan of the lab, gained thanks to the geological scan requested by Amidala, and they identify three entry points and the main lab (not sure how). Ahsoka reports that Padmé is missing and they spot the scopes when one accidentally lifts Peppi off the ground. Anakin orders her to stay in position and, on his signal attack the entry point the farthest away from the main lab with Rex as a diversion so Kenobi and himself can rescue the prisoners and arrest Vindi. Anakin and Obi-wan talk about their feelings a little.
"You seem on edge, Anakin.
-We may be about to extinguish all life on this planet, including ours and the senator. Why aren't you on edge.
-I am. I'm just better at hiding it."
Credit's where credit's due this is great dialog. They are picked up by Rex and move on.
Ahsoka and her team blow up the roof of the first entry point and draw the droids to them, Anakin and Obi-wan each lead separate teams throught he others two. None of th eJedi are wearing protective gear because they are idiots. Obi-Wan tells anakin not to compromise the miscue by prioritizing Amidala ove rthe virus or the doc. Of course he does. Anakin finds Vindi with Padmé and Jar Jar tied to the lightning rod. Vindi threatesn to electrocute them if he doesn't stand down which he does. Vindi says he doesn't hope to restrain them for long (they've dropped their weapon, you can shoot them, you fool!) so he switches the lighting rod on and tells Anakin to choose between svaing his friends or catching him as he leaves with a case full of virus vials. Anakin destroys the droids and switches the rod off. Padmé tells him to try the reverse order next time. Obi-Wan finds the bomb warehouse just as Vindi activates them all. Meawhile the rodent droid has apparently spent the last six hours going from the main lab to the warehouse and hides with the last bomb. Obi-Wan notices the last bomb and Padmé realizes it must be with the droid. Anakin and Ahsoka meet and catch up with the doctor as an automatic door closes between them. The Doctor forces anakin out of the door by throwing a vial. Anakin forgets he doesn't need to touch things to catch them and throw himslef through the door. The doctor reaches an elevating platform with his shuttle on it and starts leaving. Jar Jar gets distracted by an hydroponic garden which just so happens to be the hiding place of the rodent dorid. They capture the last bomb with minimal effort but the bomb squad still needs to get there before the timer runs out. Obi-Wan reaches Anakin who is carving a parth through the door. Once inside Anakin and Obi-Wan jump on the moving platform but Vindi throws three vials in the air. Obi-Wan forgets he doesn't need to touch things to catch them and launch hismelf in the air to intercept. The platform emerges under Peppi's feet. There's a brief stand-off and Peppi uses th efact that Vindi ahsn't spotted her to tackle him. He is taken prisoner. The good guys rejoice.
Unfortunately they all forgot about the fact that the waterborne strain of the virus was already released into the river Peppi's herd was drinking from and hundreds of millions of gungans and Naboo persih in the following months. what do you mean, no? The episode wouldn't completely forget about that bit would it? WOULD IT?
Re: Fyraltari watches The Clone Wars (2008) for the first time
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