LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

[AdAstra]

Thanks for the responses!



That's what I though, but my spellcheck disagreed.

That's one way to look at it. Personally, I feel that it would be kind of insulting to transpeople who are out there being discriminated against for me, someone who can pass as totally cis unless I decide to tell someone otherwise, to claim that banner when I haven't lived that life.

Any elaboration or advice on the nature of said introspection or exactly what it means to be a "trans woman in denial" would be greatly appreciated.

Well, for context, I'm nonbinary, and I am generally very gender-neutral-looking without any effort on my part, I do not generally tell people about my gender identity unless asked, and I generally don't care what even my family thinks of my gender identity. On the other hand, plenty of nonbinary people do not look androgynous, and this can cause issues for them even when they tell people because some people don't believe being nonbinary is a real thing or assume all nonbinary people look androgynous. But for me, because of both the way I look, and the way I choose to present myself, my transition was, by most metrics, easy. Doesn't make me not trans, at least to my knowledge.

Basically, you would not be "disrespecting" anyone by the simple act of being trans. Not being actively discriminated against for being trans does not make your gender less real, regardless of what gender you pass as or whether you tell people or not. Your experiences might be different, but that wouldn't change the nature of your gender. Plus, everyone (or at least the vast majority of people) who has "lived that life", has had a point where they had not "lived that life". And whether you decide to live that life or not, what you feel inside still matters.

As for "trans and in denial", my personal experience has boiled down to "what would make me happier?". Or in this case, what would make you happier? What feels right to you? There are all kinds of ways that people transition, and ways they experience that. None of them are "improper". EDIT: Specifically, if your doubts about being trans stem primarily from how you think other people would feel about you or whether or not you'd be doing things "properly", those doubts are probably not evidence that you're not trans, at least looking at it with my logic.