The purpose of dice is to give an unpredictable result. You bought them specifically so you would have no control over the result. The game uses them precisely to give you no control over the result. That’s why there is so much effort spent trying to control the result.

Having said that, here’s my take on how to control the result.

Dice are pedantic mathematicians, and if you want to them to treat you well, then treat them well.

1. One die; two dice. Never anger them by referring to a singular dice or plural die.

2. Proper dice have opposite sides that add up to n+1. If the opposites sides of your die don’t add up to the same number, then they are not proper dice, and cannot be trusted. Wrap them up in fancy paper and give them to some kid you don’t like.

3. It’s not a twelve-sider, it’s a dodecahedron. Once you’ve made friends with it, you may get less formal and call it a d12. But it’s still not a twelve-sider.

4. Use correct plurals. They are not polyhedrons (tetrahedrons, octahedrons, etc.); they are polyhedra (tetrahedra, octahedra, etc.) How can you expect them to give you high numbers if they know you can’t handle numbers larger than one?

5. Don’t mix dice from different manufacturers. If you put Koplow dice and Gamescience dice in the same bag, the Koplow dice get envious and the Gamescience dice get insulted. They can tell the difference.

6. The five basic dice (tetrahedron, cube, octahedron, dodecahedron and icosahedron) are Platonic solids, or regular polyhedra. Many dice out are Catalan solids (the d10, d24, d30). Any dice whose faces aren’t all the same shape (d5, d7) or which isn’t a polyhedron (d100, d3), should be kept in a separate bag. The Platonic and Catalan solids know that these upstarts aren’t “real” dice.

Finally, I offer one serious suggestion: use the right die. I once had a player upset that he was rolling low numbers. I eventually noticed that he was rolling attack rolls with a d12.