Is the roleplay aspect of D&D gone, replaced by optimization?

[jjordan]

How does one combat this without abandoning the game altogether?

Be an adult, talk to the other participants (DM and players) and tell them what you want. Listen to what they want and see if y'all can find a path forward. The rules are guidelines and tools to help you make the kind of game you want to play. But in order to find it you have to put yourself out there and not be afraid of the criticism you'll take. Go for it.