Poll: V or I?

[arimareiji]

I've gone too long without directly addressing the poll question of "Who was right, during the ABD crisis, V or I?" exactly as worded. (I've tried to touch on it, but mostly gotten lost in the weeds of "their overall relationship".)
_{I'm assuming the question is supposed to be limited to "with respect to their relationship", not "with respect to the morality/efficacy of V's decisions while Spliced (except inasmuch as they directly affect the relationship, such as "by being witnessed")".}

Both, about different aspects. If it were possible to measure with a single unit of weight (R [rightograms] = -W [wrongograms]) and sum it up on a balance sheet, I'd lean toward Inkyrius being "more right". But I think simplifying it thus would be weighing apples against oranges, especially since I believe W ≠ -R as well as 2W ≠ R .

Spoiler: To elaborate,

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italicizing in keeping with the request for emphasis to make answers easier to spot. "K" for Kyrie, because "I" is too easy to mix up with a first-person pronoun.

• Wrt 1) prioritizing gloating and Familicide over K and the children, and 2) committing it in front of them: V is spectacularly wrong.
• Wrt the threat at the start of 641: It's understandable to react with passionate fury if you think the body of your loved one is under the control of a fiend (panel 8). But 1) if an actual fiend were in control it would invite overwhelming violence, and 2) it's a heck of a way to respond to your loved one if they're in control. K is neither right nor wrong per se, but deeply misguided.
• Wrt tying to explain from 641:8 to 642:3: It's futile from the start of 642 on (K gives them no real chance to do so), but V is doing something right.
• In 642:4, V responds to this frustration with an implicit threat of violence. V is wrong without question.
• K responds with their own explicit, absolute ultimatum. K does so based on incomplete understanding, due to shutting down V's attempts to explain. It's understandable regardless, and may be completely reasonable in the context of a fuller picture, but the question is about this specific crisis. K is wrong for both refusing to listen and the ultimatum, but not without cause.
• V apologizes for disobeying the ultimatum because they "still need to fix everything", and leaves. This one bears mostly on the plot rather than their relationship, but inasmuch as it bears on their relationship it's a mixture of right and wrong. V finally does the most important right thing (backing down from ego), but too late. V is further right to the degree of probability it would have aggravated things to keep talking to someone who refuses to listen, and wrong to the degree of probability K might have backed down and listened if V had kept talking.

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Spoiler: collapsed for space

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But we do know that Vaarsuvius is still a fairly young elf - based on the age given in War and XP (and listed on the Geekery trend) and given the ages of the children Vaarsuvius would not have been an adult when the children were born.

It is possible that Inkyrius and Vaarsuvius were a childhood romance which fits with 223 while still having Inkyrius focused on wanting to settle on family life and Vaarsuvius wanting to focus on career - Inkyrius could have been thinking that Vaarsuvius's statements on becoming a powerful wizard was the equivalent of a dream they would grow out of where for Vaarsuvius it was the actual plan.

Consider it like if you were a child/teenager and a friend stating they were going to discover a new planet suitable of sustaining human life - sounds like a fantasy they will grow out of, however at thirty they might have devoted over a decade of their life to astrophysics in the search for planets in the habitable zone for different stars and detailing how to spot planets within that zone and how to rule them out for habitation, written many papers on it, held conferences etc - and still be nowhere close to their goal of an actual planet that is certain to be suitable.
If you get into a relationship with that person in their late teens early/twenties it isn't their fault that you never knew they were serious about the goal they has always been upfront about - and at thirty when they have not went on holidays, not attended family gatherings etc as they were working and researching well a lot of people will sympathise with you but it isn't really the other persons fault for not changing who they were and what their goals were.

To sum up it is possible that Inkyrius didn't take Vaarsuvius's goal and commitment to that goal seriously - if so getting mad at Vaarsuvius is not entirely fair when they pursue it (getting out of the relationship however would likely be fair).

Well-said. We simply don't know, but that doesn't sound like an unreasonable surmise -- especially when you consider V's age, as you mentioned in the collapsed portion.

_{Edit: Minor reword}