Magic: The Gathering Thread XXV: 3 Vorthoses barely clinging to sanity and 45 Spikes

[Spore]

I didn't say "helps its opponents do things"

I said "lets its opponents do things"

There's a difference.

Akin to Shadar Silverquill's "here are +1/+1 tokens. I know you only have a single creature, but be glad I gave you ANYTHING"
or more akin to Chaos Warp? "Your important game piece dies, but at least you get to flip your top card in your deck."