Dire Giraffe
Huge Animal
Hit Dice: 18d8+90 (171 hp)
Initiative: +0
Speed: 40 ft. (8 squares)
Armor Class: 17 (-2 Size, +9 Natural), touch 8, flat-footed 17
Base Attack/Grapple: +13/+31
Attack: Head Butt +21 melee (2d8+10)
Full Attack: 1 Head Butt +21 melee (2d8+10) and 2 Stamps +16 melee (2d6+5)
Space/Reach: 15 ft./15 ft.
Special Attacks: Trample (2d8+10), Increased Reach
Special Qualities: Low Light Vision
Saves: Fort +16, Ref +11, Will +7
Abilities: Str 30, Dex 10, Con 20, Int 2, Wis 13, Cha 10
Skills: Listen +13, Spot +14
Feats: Alertness, Awesome Blow, Brutal Strike, Endurance, Improved Bull Rush, Power Attack, Run
Environment: Warm Plains
Organization: Solitary, or Herd (4-12)
Challenge Rating: 9
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always Neutral
Advancement: 19-27 HD (Huge), 28-36 HD (Gargantuan)
Level Adjustment: ---

"Bert?"

"Yeah Abner?"

"What the ____ is that?"

"Who cares, it's seen us! Run!

The Gods alone know where Dire Giraffe's came from. Some people think of them as proof of a Divine sense of the absurd. Or that maybe the Creators do illicit substances when no one is looking. It would certainly explain the existence of other things like Ethereal Filchers.

Trample (Ex): DC 26 Reflex Save for half damage.

Increased Reach (Ex): Due to the length of it's neck and limbs the Giraffe has a range of 15 feet.

Combat: Dire Giraffe's are more interested in mating or chewing grass than anything else, but on occasion they get hold of some rotten fruit that's been fermenting into alcohol and decide the small people things would be fun to run over or headbutt.




Giant Giraffe
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens! Today on Wild Kingdom, we get what we were expecting."

They Like To Play Golf. You Are The Ball.
"Your little friend doesn't appear to like us."

"Oh no, that's normal. They like to swing their heads at smaller creatures like they were playing golf using their heads as clubs."

"This is normal behavior?"

"It is for Giraffes. Giraffes are (beep)."

Marvels of biology
"When did we get a censor?"

"The Gnomes built one into your Cube of Force, just in case it was needed."

"(beep) Gnomes..."