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"No child of mine is going to become a DANCER!" thundered Vimak Boarbreaker Gathakanathi. His lithoderm-speckled hands roughly grasped Lo-Kag by the shoulders and shook the boy about, while fury that rivalled the fiercest thunderstorms crashed through his eyes. Two sets of plate armor - the most prized product of their tribe's trade with dwarvenkind - noisily clanked together, but father and son ignored the clamor both.
"But dad..." began Lo-Kag, before thinking better of it. They'd been here too many times to count; what use was there in rehashing the conversation all over again?
"No buts! A proud goliath of our tribe, dancing. Like some kind of elf, or worse, a- a, one of those, uh, a bundle of sticks!"
"What?" that bit was new. Lo-Kag eyed his sputtering father uncomprehendingly.
"A... a fairy! Those feys! Don't think I haven't seen you sneak outside on moonlit nights, staring down into the valley, watching them dance their silly dances. That's how you got those ideas, wasn't it?"
"...the dryads of the mountain pines?"
"Exactly!" confirmed Vimak, clearly a bit embarrassed at forgetting the correct word, and eager to rush on to avoid showing so. "You must know, son, that it's only because of us, proud defenders of the passes, that they get to engage in all that frivolity. We, alike the proud mother-wolf guarding her cubs, are burdened with a glorious purpose, which..."
Ah, it was time for the glorious purpose speech again. They were going to be here for a while.
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"And now he's actually got the shaman on his side, too! They've actually been running divinations on how much I'm wearing the armor each day, and if it doesn't add up he makes me stand guard all night; all so I won't sneak off and practice dancing! I don't even get to take it off while sleeping!"
The mutilated man, limbs replaced with sword-blades, face stretched across the side of his dented head continued his whirling dance, hopping from one leg to another, to an arm, to a leg again. Dark lines of upturned earth cut through the loose dirt beneath him, forming a complex sign that somehow remained undisturbed by his acrobatics.
Paimon did not speak often; his voice was garbled and unsteady, his attention too occupied by his complex dances. But for an instant, he paused, turned towards Lo-Kag, and remarked:
"Kid, I got half my body replaced by sheets of steel; you think that stopped me from dancing everyone under the table? Bulk isn't what matters: you just gotta know how to carry the momentum."
"How?" muttered Lo-Kag helplessly. But the vestige spoke no more, lost in its own dance, twirling and twirling ever faster before disappearing from view entirely. A gust of wind blew the seal away while Lo-Kag slowly, experimentally, flexed his fingers and toes, shifted his weight from one foot to another with unusual yet familiar ease. He raked his mind for strange new influences, found none: a good pact, then.
With Paimon, they somehow always were.
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Lo-Kag was nervous.
In a way, this was very natural. Lo-Kag was performing in front of dozens and dozens of the city's most important nobles. Poorer men and women (or, at any rate, drunker ones) might have accepted mediocrity, but a man whose time is worth hundreds of gold pieces per hour tends to get quite upset when he feels he's getting ripped off. The show was going smoothly, but Lo-Kag found it hard to assume his fellow dancers were not at least a little anxious as well. The troupe needed the money; he wasn't the only runaway of their number.
On the other hand, his fellow dancers presumably weren't plotting an assassination.
Lady Patricia Morgenstern, guildmistress of something-or-another, patroness of the arts, highly-paying customer of the information-broking Knights of the Shield. Well, that last thing only until quite recently, when she'd decided to sell out her contacts and get the corrupt guard to funnel her investments back to her.
The dance ended, a polite round of applause echoed through the hall, and Lo-Kag waited for the rest of his troupe to step offstage before following them. The attendants' gazes were wandering again, their interest in the dancers gone once they'd ceased to be entertaining. Lo-Kag feigned some issue with his shoe (which, to be fair, was hardly nonexistent - the troupe's outfits maxed out several sizes below his) and stooped behind a table, out of sight of the guests.
Twelve seconds passed while the guests chattered on.
The table was flung aside, sending multicolored cocktails and impeccably prepared cuts of meat to splatter against the wall. An elaborately carved wooden leg barely failed to brain anyone, then hit a pillar and shattered to pieces.
Charging out from behind was a nine-foot-tall warrior, armored head to toe in clanking plate steel, brandishing a long flexible sword that looked suspiciously like the belt worn by the lead dancer in the performance just now. Two guards, too slow to react, he barreled past, but two others stepped between him and his target, halberds outstretched.
Don't hesitate. Don't halt. Carry the momentum...
Lo-Kag dropped into a ball, rolling along the ground rather than crashing crudely into it. The guards' halberds, unprepared for the maneuver, missed by a mile. Lo-Kag extended his legs, bounded out of the head roll, and resumed his charge - now with no one between him and the guildmistress.
A slash of the sword, and his target fell. Two more, and the onrushing guards found themselves tumbling towards the floor. Several guests fled in a frenzy, others took cover behind tables and curtains. Lo-Kag leapt out of the window, caught hold of the upper frame, and swung himself up and out of sight without apparent issue - a single pathetic crossbow bolt bounced harmlessly off of his greaves.
By the time the guards had picked themselves up, secured the scene, and sent a patrol to the roof, Lo-Kag had already escaped along an impeccably planned route. Within minutes, the goliath was rushing out the gate on the fastest horse in town, assured of a well-filled purse for his efforts.
Vengeance had been taken.
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Hundreds of armored goliaths, clad in shining armor and brandishing dwarvencraft weapons, clashed with the dragonspawn horde. Squat redspawn belched fire, hordes of whitespawn flapped down from narrow ridges, and a fearsome bluespawn godslayer was engaged in melee with three or four warriors at once. Shield walls and pike hedges held the dragonspawn at bay as units of gargantuan barbarians smashed into their flanks, dwarven clerics rushed to heal where they were needed most. The defenders were winning - at terrible cost, but still.
But not all defenders were. Surrounded by foes, back to a cliffside, bodies of his comrades at his feet, there fought Vimak Gathakanathi, axe in hand. With the last of his strengths, he raised his axe once more - to slay one foe, just one more foe, surely he could do that - only to watch, in bafflement, as a spinning shadow emerged from the enemies' ranks.
Unimpeded by the layers of metal plate that enveloped his body, tall and proud and strong, wielding a whiplike sword that slashed at throats and twisted around legs, bounding, no, dancing across the battlefield, was his son, a trail of bodies in his wake.
"Greetings, father!" bellowed Lo-Kag. There was joy in that voice - more than Vimak had ever heard before. The whip-sword flashed again, two more spawn fell to their feet, one didn't try to get up again. A whitespawn dove down, serrated knife outstretched, but Lo-Kag parried with his shield - inscribed with some strange curling symbol, Vimak saw. "I have returned from the humans, who taught me much and paid me much!"
"My... my son! I..."
"You what?" was the mock-puzzled response. "You're surprised?"
"I... yes, well, I-"
"To see me dance so well, father? Or see me fight so well?"
"I... that doesn't matter! Just... keep going like that and we might be able to get back to the main force! Watch out for tha-"
The sword spun again, smashed into an iceskidder's side, buried itself three inches deep with a sickening tearing noise. Seconds later, Lo-Kag's armored body twisted round once more and pulled it out of the wound.
"I have a request, father."
"We don't have time for that!"
"Tell me you can see this, and what it means. Tell me you were wrong about what I chose to spend my time on."
"...fine! I was wrong! Your stupid, flashy, fey movements are what's keeping us alive right now! You're the greatest dancer that the goliath people have ever known! Now get me-"
"Oh, father dear." grinned Lo-Kag, greatest dancer the goliath people had ever known. "I'm glad your final words are so kind."
And at once, the armored giant took a step away, nimbly clambered up the cliff, crushed a stray stoneglider beneath his gauntlet, and disappeared over the rim, never to be seen again by any of his tribe.
Spoiler: Snapshots
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ECL 5
It's hard to go wrong with goliath barbarian at these levels. Bump yourself up to Large size and 24 strength 3/day and go for a defensive crowd-control strategy using the one-handed reach spinning sword and a heavy shield. With 20 ft. reach and a 10 ft. square, and the near-guaranteed AoOs should keep your damage output higher than a 'normal' two-handed warrior can expect at this point. Protect your allies, beat face, and enjoy solid AC.
Binding is a little bit anemic at this point, but even first-level vestiges contribute a lot to out-of-combat utility. So, for that matter, do your skills: solid intimidate and sense motive combined with mobility and a little knowledge means you'll have something to attempt in nearly any situation. Remember that Intimidate has a size-based modifier and is thus augmented by powerful build, and that goliaths have a racial +2 to sense motive! And speaking of racial goliath skills, you can bring that huge strength to bear with your accelerated climbing and automatic running jumps, so when the terrain gets a little rough you'll have an easy time going about still. Free Roofwalker (Fast Movement doesn't work in heavy armor) helps in that department as well, giving us bonuses to resist fall damage and exploit elevation differences that should be useful in mountains and cities both.
(I didn't take Spirit Lion totem because we're already taking a differently-flavored totem's abilities, and besides this build has plenty of ways to move and make multiple attacks without resorting to charges)
ECL 10
Our intimidate ranks give us Improved Binding and thus let us bind Paimon. It's a match made in heaven, and so we immediately head into Knight of the Sacred Seal. Paimon gives us +4 dexterity (nice with our future Combat Reflexes) and uncanny dodge, plus a +4 tumble bonus (we're up to +12 before ACP, enough to slide into a flanking position with some regularity). Furthermore, Paimon gives us two abilities that let us attack large numbers of foes once - Dance of Death and Whirlwind Attack. KotSS itself grants evil-aligned attacks and bursts of charisma to AC and reflex, nicely shoring up our weakest saving throw and touch AC both.
We also get a second vestige! Typically, we'll combine Paimon with Savnok, who lets us summon a suit of +2 light fortification full plate (great if we're infiltrating places that armor is not allowed in, especially when you realize that spinning swords grant a hefty bonus on sleight of hand checks to disguise them as innocuous belts). Savnok also gives DR 3/piercing and a 20 ft. move action teleportation ability that we can chain into Dance of Death, letting us move 50 foot in a turn, knock most of our enemy forces prone, and set up shop in their midst.
Good alternative choices are Andras (who lets us summon a horse that benefits from our KotSS protection and gives a big bonus on ride checks, making fast/mount dismount a good option once we start reducing ACP), Malphas (who grants a great disposable scout in the form of a raven or dove) and Andromalius (who can cast Locate Object and See Invisibility at-will, grants a big bonus on sense motive, and gives us 2d6 sneak attack to reward our tumbling shenanigans).
ECL 15
In the SI: it took us a while to get all the requirements (we only got heavy armor proficiency upon entering KotSS, Weapon Focus was our ECL 7 feat, Iron Will our ECL 10), but we really do make good use of them all. Weapon Focus's been doing double duty in qualifying us for a different PrC before this one, Iron Will is going to show up again later, and Intimidate and Sense Motive are both skills that we enjoy double-digit bonuses to thanks to various racial traits and good investment.
Our core strategy is simple: use Dance of Death (and on later turns, Whirlwind Attack) to get a bunch of attacks boosted by your insane strength, Bringer of Vengeance, and Counterstrike, trivially hit the 10 damage for Knock-Down to engage, then make high-strength large-size trip attempts to knock the entire battlefield prone. Next turn, tripped foes will find themselves forced to spend a move action standing up and then another to move over to anyone they can actually hit (your reach lets you safely hit even Huge creatures without getting in their reach)... at which point you take your AoO, make another hit, get a free trip, and then get another free attack from Improved Trip. Combat Reflexes will come online next level and make all this even easier, but versus singular foes you're already at near-max potential (and against horde battles, Whirlwind Attack is actually pretty decent in itself!).
(As the above implies, we presumably can't use Improved Trip with Paimon's attack modes. However, the feat is still giving us +4 to any trip attempts we might choose to make, in addition to granting extra attacks on AoOs like normal and acting as a knock-down prerequisite, so we're getting plenty of use out of it even in fights where we whirlwind every round)
A core contradiction of Vengeance Knight is that it reduces ACP with Armor Training, but only offers two bad skills (and a single use of Ride) that are actually subject to this penalty. We use Skilled-City Dweller to grab Tumble and invest in it heavily, granting us a much more concrete benefit (between savnok-guaranteed masterwork and the -1 from armor training, full plate is down to a mere -4 ACP, and once we find/buy a masterwork heavy shield we can use it without penalty). Forging full plate, or adjusting it to fit a given character, is actually quite a pain by RAW (seriously, reread the entry), so being able to summon perfectly fitting suit at-will gives us a very solid bottom line.
With vestige-derived scouting ability (thanks, Malphas!), we should be able to reliably locate our targets out of combat, then use Dance of Death / charge / Move Ally to get near them once a fight starts. Two of the skills that Bringer of Vengeance boosts are heavily invested by us - not bad for a class with 2 + int skill points. Note that Sense Motive is explicitly called out as a skill that you can use your own modifier for even when the raven is the one making the observation!
We're somewhat more prone to getting use out of Counterstrike than most Vengeance Knights: not only does our fighting style provoke a few AoOs at times (don't worry, we have more than enough HP and battlefield control to take those hits) but we also funnel foes towards us, ensuring that if anyone on our side needs to get hurt, it's going to be the character who can turn that into a damage boost. On top of that, our sheer amount of attacks per round improves the benefit of all these static boosts.
Lastly, Arcane Backlash should trigger reasonably often, as we have insane Fortitude and a Will save (while raging, which is always) that wouldn't be out of place on a wizard, plus the battlefield presence and mobility to be a threat to self-interested and tactical mages both. It's still not a good class feature, but at least we're getting as much out of it as possible.
ECL 20
Improved armor training has reduced our ACP all the way down to zero while we're wearing masterwork full plate and carrying a heavy shield. Iron Will returns to qualify us for Hardened Criminal, rendering us immune to intimidation attempts and granting us the ability to take 10 on Tumble. We can now reliably (roll of 10, +22 ranks, +3 modifier, +2 synergy, +4 paimon = 41) make the DC 40 tumble DC to take a 10 ft. step and still full attack, or the DC 41 check to engage in accelerated tumbling through three enemies without provoking AoOs. Furthermore, the speed penalty of heavy armor is halved; this is something we're likely to use better than the average vengeance knight, because Dance of Death and Tumble both care about our speed a lot.
By this time, we should have pretty reliable access to a magic suit of armor better than what savnok can grant us, so that vestige is mostly relegated to infiltration missions. Our new default summon is Andromalius for sneak attack and utility reasons.
We also pick up Shield Slam, which lets us make a single shield attack as a full-round or charge action and force a whopping DC 28 saving throw vs daze against the foe hit (and if it was a charge, we're still getting a free trip attempt thanks to Shield Charge).
Originally Posted by Lo-Kag
Lo-Kag “Loosefoot” Gathakanathi
Re: Iron Chef Optimization Challenge in the Playground CXXVIII
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