Iron Chef E6 Appetizer Edition, Round XLVI

[Venger]

"Better to light a candle than curse the darkness."

Adro, the Lamplighter



CG Desert Half-Elf Healer 4 / Warlock 1 / Visionary Seeker 1

Spoiler: Story

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Spoiler: Idyll

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The grove was beautiful.

The canopy rustled gently in the wind, sending filtered light down onto the forest floor in ever-shifting sunbeams. Birds chirped in the higher branches, flowering vines snaked up gnarled trunks. A sense of overwhelming age pervaded it all, like this little grove had always been around, like it'd come across a hot and molten primordial earth and decided to move in, and all the woods around it were just crude matter attempting to approach its beauty.

Standing in its center, naked but for a skirt of oversized flower petals, human-looking if not for the goatlike horns and purple eyes, was the grove's keeper. Someone forced to estimate his age might've said twenty, twenty-five, and then immediately appended some reservation.

Something rustled in the foliage. The keeper smiled, fluidly strode over, lifted the final few branches out of the way. Stumbling through was a a figure in a dark cloak - a quick movement and the cloak was off, carried by a breeze to a rock at the clearing's edge. Underneath it was a half-elf; ears pointy, features soft, eyes sea green, who seemed a mix of elated and embarrassed.

"What's with the cloak, darling? I really don't think black's your color." crooned the fey.

"As you recall, I'm still not supposed to be here. Though with how murky-eyed Seeker Urðr is getting, I'm starting to think I should just stop bothering with the disguises," came the reply.

"Don't let my teasing get you caught, I'd miss you too much~"

What happened after wasn't terribly important. There was some more good-natured back-and-forth. A fruity scent wafted through the air. Long strands of grass wove themselves into a comfortable mat. The birds sang their most beautiful songs.

Afterwards, surrounded by rainbow-colored flowers that hadn't been there before, the pair fed on the purest water and sweetest honey, hearts brimming with love for one another.

The road goes on.

Spoiler: Elegy

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The ceremony had been brief and practical. A word of prayer to Fharlanghn, the ceremonial burning of a splinter from a bedpost, the annointing of the forehead with holy water, and Adro was sent off. Oaths were for the temple-bound, for those taking in orphans and hosting weary travelers. To the pilgrims, there was but a single guiding principle: to forsake all home, and walk the road, that we may do good along its length.

And so Adro, who owned nothing but a pair of leather sandals, a silver holy symbol, and a set of white robes, walked through the forest. To where? First a hamlet, two leagues down the path, then on to a village, and then... then Adro would be further from home than ever before, and

The slightest rustle issued from the bushes as something violently burst out of them. A heavy, hairy shape crashed into Adro, sent the half-elf crashing face-down into the mud. The attacking beast leapt on top, panting heavily - Adro could feel its hot breath. It growled, a primal, savage sound that reverberated through the trees and sent small animals scurrying to their burrows.

"You're not scaring me. I know it's you."

Adro's voice was filled with the calm resignation found only in the enlightened and death row inmates.

The weight lifted, and Adro rose. Standing two paces ahead on the path was a familiar face, purple-eyed, horned, conspicuously clean before the muddied half-elf. The fey seemed vaguely annoyed - which meant he was absolutely furious.

"I know you know, Adro. What I'm trying to do here is give you an excuse to go back. You wouldn't be the first initiate to go out, realize just what kind of things dwell out there, and come crawling back to the abbey. Endure a few months of ribbing, pick up your normal life again, and grow old and happy popping blisters for passing pilgrims."

"I'm not going to go back."

"WHY?" came the roaring response. "I know you, and I know you're just as miserable as me! I love you, you love me, and you're throwing it all away for what? A lifetime of sleeping in ditches, thirsting during summer, shivering when winter comes? Just explain to me why you left without saying a word."

Adro looked pained, turned away, relented.

"The Seeker told me. I never was much for other magic, but healing... I'm the greatest healer she's ever seen. I'm the greatest healer as far as the temple records go back. And not just in degree, in kind. There's things out there that leave eternal scars - scars time cannot heal, magic cannot heal... but I can. I need to go there, need to find the people only I can help."

"And then? You just said so, you never were much for other magic. You can't defend yourself. If I'd been an actual beast, you'd be dead by now."

The fey's face was a mask.

"I..." began Adro, then stopped. The fey looked different now, eyes streaked with red and gold, mouth stretching open too far, too-sharp teeth glinting inside.

"Adro Foster," an inhuman voice intoned. "You have eaten at my table, and drunk from my cup, and slept in my bed. You have given me power over you by laws that were old when those trees were still young. Those rights, which I forfeited out of love, I invoke now."

Adro wanted to run, scream, but invisible chains prevented all movement. The wind picked up. A branch was wrenched loose from its tree and crashed down nearby, sending leaves and sticks flying.

"I and I alone forge this bargain, and bind you by it. I and I alone choose what to take from you. I and I alone choose what to give in return."

The ground shook. Shadows shifted in the treetops. A faint wail echoed in from far away. Sweat trickled down Adro's muddy brow.

"And so I take from you this: all the heartbreak, all the loss, all the sorrow that you feel at this parting, all that which would otherwise poison your memories of our love. And I give you this: my own love, so that you may be loved, and kept save from all who would harm you. And by this, I fulfill the pact, and forfeit all further exercise of my rights. So vow I, Hibiscus of the Horned."

The wind died down. The wailing ceased. The shadows melted away. Adro stared ahead, blankly, not truly understanding what just happened, noting only a strange lightness in his heart. He still loved Hibiscus - but different now, calmer, like a widow might love her long-dead husband. Acceptance he hadn't expected to feel for years had blossomed within him in an instant, and his pack seemed much less heavy now.

The fey, his expression one of pain, muttered something. A gust of wind blew dust in Adro's face - the half-elf flinched, looked away for a moment - and Hibiscus was gone.

The road goes on.

Spoiler: Lyric

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In a small clearing older than time itself, blue flowers bloomed half-heartedly. Their keeper languished on a gnarled trunk, as he had for some time now. Perhaps he would remain there, rot as the trunk did, fade away, let the grove make a new keeper for itself. These thoughts, and little else, played through his head.

A disturbance. Something formed nearby: magic woven in perfect geometry, symmetrical words of straightforward power, as unlike the grove as could be. Something pushed through, invoked a great authority, declared its location to be here, and appeared. It was a small ball of light.

Hibiscus slowly rose and inspected the strange intruder, then noticed it'd brought something. A scroll, bound with twine, smelling of distant lands. He unfurled it, and began to read.

My love,

I write you earlier than I expected and far later than I'd have liked.

The road is unforgiving, as I knew it would be. Heat and cold have worn away at me. My sandals have been ruined, and I now walk on calloused feet. My hair is unkempt, my white robes soiled with mud, and at many doors I am turned away, for the good people think me some manner of beast in human form. I was forced to trade my silver holy symbol away, and carved a simple one from wood to use in its stead.

Once, I arrived in the domain of a wicked noble, who would send out riders to harass travelers and rob them blind, and who refused all audience with me. In the end, I persuaded a servant to lend me her garment, and so snuck into his home in the guise of a maid. Upon hearing the words of Fharlanghn, he saw the error of his ways, and offered to build a grand temple and make me its high priest, but I told him to grant that favor to another, for the road still called to me.

Your sacrifice has been of unimaginable value to me, and not a day goes by that I do not pray for your sake. Every day I asked Fharlanghn if any traveler could lift your spirits, and if so to send them your way, and every time the reply was no. Until today, when I was sent this being, who may travel a thousand miles in a single step, and so bring you the one thing you desire: news of me.

From now on, I shall write you every day, no matter where I may be. I shall tell you of all I encounter, of the people I meet, and when those I heal ask me for the source of my strength, I shall name you first and my god second.

I beg you to draw your strength from mine in turn, and live and rejoice as you always have.

Remember that for you, too, the road goes on.

-Adro

Spoiler: Build

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Ability scores: 10 STR / 10 DEX / 12 CON / 14 INT / 13 WIS / 17 CHA
ASI: +1 charisma
Patron Deity: Fharlanghn
Membership: Visionary Seekers

Level	Class	Base Attack Bonus	Fort Save	Ref Save	Will Save	Skills	Feats	Class Features
1st	Healer 1	+0	+2	+0	+2	24+1: Bluff 2cc, Concentration 4, Diplomacy 4, Handle Animal 1, Knowledge (Nobility and Royalty) 2cc, Sense Motive 4, Survival 4	Nymph's Kiss	Healing Hands
2nd	Warlock 1	+0	+2	+0	+4	4+1: Bluff +3 (5), Concentration 4, Diplomacy 4, Disguise +2 (2), Handle Animal 1, Knowledge (Nobility and Royalty) 2, Sense Motive 4, Survival 4	-	Eldritch Blast 1d6, Invocations (Beguiling Influence)
3rd	Healer 2	+1	+3	+0	+5	6+1: Bluff 5, Concentration +2 (6), Diplomacy +2 (6), Disguise 2, Handle Animal 1, Knowledge (Nobility and Royalty) 2, Sense Motive +1 (5), Survival +2 (6)	Skill Focus (Diplomacy), Skill Focus (Heal)B	-
4th	Healer 3	+1	+3	+1	+5	6+1: Bluff 5, Concentration +1 (7), Diplomacy +1 (7), Disguise +2cc (4), Handle Animal 1, Knowledge (Nobility and Royalty) 2, Sense Motive 5, Survival +1 (7)	-	Cleanse Paralysis
5th	Healer 4	+2	+4	+1	+6	6+1: Bluff 5, Concentration +1 (8), Diplomacy +1 (8), Disguise +1cc (5), Handle Animal 1, Knowledge (Nobility and Royalty) 2, Sense Motive 5, Survival +1 (8), Assume Quirk +2	-	Remove Disease
6th	Visionary Seeker 1	+2	+4	+3	+6	6+1: Bluff 5, Concentration 8, Diplomacy +1cc (9), Disguise 5, Handle Animal 1, Knowledge (Nobility and Royalty) +3 (5), Sense Motive 5, Survival 8, Assume Quirk, Second Impression +2	Complementary Insight	Divination Expertise +1

Epic Feats
Sacred Vow
Vow of Nonviolence
Vow of Peace
Sociable Personality
Negotiator
Trustworthy
Nimbus of Light
Stigmata
Master Manipulator
Wanderer's Diplomacy

Spoiler: Spells

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Spells per Day

Level	0lvl	1st	2nd	3rd
1st	4	4	-	-
2nd	4	4	-	-
3rd	4	5	-	-
4th	5	5	3	-
5th	5	5	4	-
6th	5	6	4	3

Typical spells prepared (Epic levels)
0: Create Water, Cure Minor Wounds, Cure Minor Wounds, Detect Magic, Detect Magic
1: Cure Light Wounds, Cure Light Wounds, Goodberry, Speak with Animals, Vision of Punishment, Vision of Punishment
2: Cure Moderate Wounds, Lesser Restoration, Luminous Armor, Remove Blindness/Deafness
3: Create Lantern Archon, Create Lantern Archon, Restoration

Spoiler: Spotlights

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Level 3
The fundamentals of a diplomancer build are present by this point. We have an impressive +26 to our diplomacy check already (6 ranks, 4 synergy, 3 charisma, 2 racial, 2 nymph, 3 skill focus, 6 beguiling influence) so we always succeed on the check to turn unfriendly creatures friendly and can make a rushed check that has a 85% chance to calm down hostile creatures. Ideally, we end any combat a round after it begins, patch up anyone who got hurt, and move ahead with the plot.

In E6 where a Wand of Lesser Vigor can only be crafted by a handful of high priests, having a party member to cast mundane CLWs (with our charisma added to the heals!) isn't the worst thing (and note that our CMW cantrips still heal 4/5 points of damage a pop!). Eldritch Blast is a nice way to contribute to damage from the back rows, and 1d6 touch attacks are probably better than the wizard's backup crossbow. In just one level, casting is going to really get going with nice options like Vision of Punishment and Luminous Armor coming online.

Note that we're not a warlock just for Beguiling Influence (in that case, we might as well be a DFA), but also for the in-class Disguise ranks. Remember: the best way to fight a diplomancer is to not get within earshot, so how do you fight that? By investing in the skill best-suited to letting you talk to people without them realizing you are talking to them. I am not kidding when I say this is a major expansion of our capabilities over 'conventional' high-diplomacy builds, which gives us a lot more versatility in who we can actually get close enough to to persuade.

Level 6
We can remove Paralysis and Disease for free once per day; note that Remove Disease is a DC 17 save-or-die versus 'parasites' which can end up including quite a bunch of stuff.

Visionary Seeker is one of the few classes to grant Knowledge (Nobility and Royalty) while also advancing a caster level and being enterable without 3rd-level spells or prereq feats. It also gives us a +1 to our CL for divinations, which lets us cast Status on twice as many creatures as before and extends the duration of Vision of Punishment by a round.

Our diplomacy has advanced quite a bit: between our charisma increase, the extra ranks, a new synergy bonus, and the upping of all synergy bonuses to +3, we're looking at a modifier of +35 (9 ranks, 4 charisma, 9 synergy, 2 racial, 2 nymph's, 3 skill focus, 6 beguiling influence). We can instantly make hostile creatures indifferent, make indifferent people helpful, and have a 80% shot at making unfriendly creatures helpful. Note that Complementary Insight also boosts our Intimidate and Disguise checks! And speaking of Disguise, Assume Quirk and Second Impression make us very good at concealing ourselves, which helps us get within speaking range of anyone who's trying to avoid talking to us.

But we're here for minion creation, aren't we? And healers happen to be the best E6 users of the most interesting minion-creation spell in the game (in my opinion): Create Lantern Archon, which creates a Lantern Archon that performs a nonhazardous task for 1 hour before disappearing off to your deity's plane... at the cost of 1d2 constitution drain. Nothing in E6 can actually recover ability drain, so the spell is dead in the water.

...except for Healers, which get Restoration as a 3rd-level spell (and Naberius binders, but that route would leave us unable to dip warlock and pick up Beguiling Influence).

And that bit where the archon 'is magically transported to your deity's home plane'? Annoying for most optimizers, but irrelevant to us - because we worship Fharlanghn, and his home plane is the prime material (Complete Divine, page 126). Even if the archon gets zapped away to a random location (which isn't supported by the spell), it's just a standard action away from returning to our side.

Which leaves us only with the restriction on activity, and this is where the diplomacy comes in. We can already turn the Friendly lantern archons Helpful, which presumably includes them using their Greater Teleport to ship items/deliver messages, or them casting Aid on everyone in the party between battle (enjoy 11 temporary hp, guys), or using Tongues for translation services, or providing an endless supply of everburning torches.

But we're not even in Epic yet, so of course we have bigger plans.

Low epic
A +2 Perfection Bonus (do those show up anywhere else?), a +4 Exalted bonus, and a +2 generic bonus combine to pump our diplomacy to +43. Combined with the reroll from Sociable Personality, we now have a 36% chance at... the DC 60 check to turn friendly creatures fanatic. This state lasts for 5 days, and we can create 10 lantern archons in that time (slightly more if we only use Restoration on alternating days), so by this point we can assume we'll have 3 devoted archons with us at all times.

That's significant! In addition to the aforementioned boosts to utility and survivability, we're now also commanding six 1d6 light rays per round, making for a very impressive damage output, we're exposing foes to multiple Auras of Menace that debuff AC, saves, and attacks, and we can now assume the entire party is warded by Magic Circles Against Evil even within combat. And that's if diplomacy fails: ideally our DC 17 Calm Emotions Aura and sky-high diplomacy should put a stop to combat before it even starts. Also, note that our beloved Vision of Punishment gets its DC massively buffed against humanoids and monstrous humanoids thanks to Vow of Nonviolence!

And what about the archons who we make Helpful, but who won't follow us into combat? Shaking up the fundamentals of international trade is one way; a single lantern archon working for 8 hours a day could ship in sufficient food to sustain a metropolis (25000 people). Illumination is a solved problem as well: a few weeks of work should produce enough everburning torches to light an entire city.

Or why not honor our god and make the roads safer to travel? One archon that alternatingly moves and casts Continual Flame can illuminate 24 miles of road in 8 hours. If we have five archons on this job at any given time, within ten years they'll illuminate 438000 miles of road, which is longer than the entire road network of the roman empire. Maybe take the time to mark some good camping spots with small clusters of flames, or mark routes between desert oases or mountain passes - you'll probably run out of roads before you run out of time.

Our minions aren't just turning us from ultra-passive diplomancer into an assured combat force - they're changing the face of the world itself, which is something very few E6 builds can claim they're capable of.

High epic
Another boost on Diplomacy with the obscure Trustworthy, one that only works against good-aligned creatures via Nimbus of Light, and we're now looking at a +47 archon-wrangling check with a 64% success rate: enough to assume we'll have six archons with us at all times. Our damage output is up to 12d6 points of ranged touch attack per round, our defenses are sky-high, our utility is great, and our rushed diplomacy checks are enough to make nongood hostile creatures friendly.

(Some of our spells are mostly picked because they help us talk to more people. This includes Speak With Animals, but also the less obviously useful Remove Deafness)

Spells worth slotting in if you're not archon-creating are Status (to monitor your teleporting minions), Remove Curse and Neutralize Poison for obvious reasons, Celestial Aspect to grant flight or fire/holy damage, Path of the Exalted as a nice plot hook dispenser, and Telepathy Tap to listen in on private conversations.

We grab Stigmata because we're already going to be restoring our Constitution to full once per day, and we might as well get a little more healing out of that moment. Master Manipulator is mostly picked because it lets us use Diplomacy (chance of succes: yes) to make our disguises harder to pierce. Our final feat is Wanderer's Diplomacy, to allow for easier communication and some item tracking ability (and we aren't limited to looking for stuff we find useful - if anyone anywhere needs anything, we can grab it and send it via archonpost).

Death
Obviously this isn't part of the build, but I thought it'd be fun to work out.

The starting age for a half-elf healer is not given, but let's assume it's the highest category (which is where clerics and druids fall anyway). In that case, we're about 30 when we embark on our adventuring career. Our expected maximum age is 156 (we remain capable of casting two Create Lantern Archons a day even as our constitution drops).

We can expect to spend about 125 years as a 6th-level adventurer, creating two lantern archons a day, which stick around even as they stop being fanatic to us. Specifically, over the course of our career we expect to create 91250 archons, who are still beings of pure Good even if they're not willing to fight and die for us specifically. And as shown above, even a single archon can fundamentally change the economics of a giant city - who knows what tens of thousands of them can do to the world?

Spoiler: Skills

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Some final numbers for our social skills:
Diplomacy: +45 (+47 vs good creatures) + reroll
Bluff: +17
Intimidate: +15 (we don't even have ranks in this)
Disguise: +11 (+14 when acting in character) (see skill tricks)
Gather Information: +10 + reroll
Sense Motive: +10

Spoiler: Sources

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Healer - Miniatures Handbook
Warlock - Complete Arcane
Visionary Seeker - Planar Handbook
Assume Quirk, Second Impression - Complete Scoundrel
Nymph's Kiss, Sacred Vow, Vow of Nonviolence, Vow of Peace, Nimbus of Light, Stigmata - Book of Exalted Deeds
Complementary Insight, Sociable Personality - Races of Destiny
Trustworthy - Song and Silence
Master Manipulator, Wanderer's Diplomacy - PHBII

Vision of Punishment, Create Lantern Archon - CoV
Other sanctified spells - BoED