My last post in my saga, since I'm going to be officially DONE WITH THINKING ABOUT IT as of today:

So I talked to him on the phone for over an hour last night (about the whole deal), and I think that for him anyway, now that I've told him it's going to be easier to be friends - he's known how I felt for a while and it kind of did strain our friendship, now that the cards are on the table and we can TALK about it, it's not as big a deal. And as he isn't making it awkward, I'm going to just try to let my feelings go.

Which is the hard part, for me...but I also understand that I can't just keep bouncing back and hoping that THIS TIME it'll turn out for the best. That's why I'm not going to let myself dwell on it anymore....It'll take a while to figure out how to be friends with him without feeling that way...I don't want to erase him from my life but I want to be able to look at his picture without regret.

(Ok I'm setting my goals pretty high for this early, but I need to do SOMETHING...)

And oh yeah....my dad wrote a song about the whole thing last night. My mom knew what was going on so of course she told him. I've never even discussed it with him before. I thought I was done with crying till he played the song for me...there's nothing like parental sympathy...It's hard to know you're doing all the right things and it's just not enough.

Okay. My last, long self-pity list. Thank you for listening, it really has made it a lot easier, especially the advice. I've got it under control logistically, now it's just dealing with myself, and that'll come.

Thanks.