Peking Observer

Chinese Diplomats in Tokyo Feared Dead
In the past months, China has been unable to contact its diplomatic staff in Japan, who are feared dead. It appears that the Japanese government, frustated by its impotence and its imminent destruction by Chinese forces, has once again lashed out irresponibily. The Chinese government has dispatched a fleet to enter the undefended Toyko Bay and retrieve our fallen and to enact punitive measures against those responsible.