The Forest Guardian

[Seffbasilisk]

I feel your pain as to...overly simplistic players. I tend to weed those out however, by running a game so merciless, and with enough of a turnover, that those who blast first and ask later don't live long.

As to the comedic post, a good deal of the mirth is lacking, though I too have had many a similar reaction, because as a writer I often try to employ that word in ways other than to label a man's twig and berries, and the thrice-bedammned filter continually stands in my way.

As to a good reaction, should the party fireball:

"The face instantly vanishes, as the component leaves are incinerated in the flash and dull roar of the fireball. However, the silence continues, and the eyes that passivly watched, now seem to positivly glow with barely constrained malice. As if the seasons were flowing past in an instant, the four nearest trees as one, shift the hue of thier leaves and shed them. The leaves fly up to reform as a face, crimson with rage, that looms over the party, no longer gracing them with a smile, instead a voice with the depth of ages booms "You are no longer welcome here interlopers, retreat, lest ye tempt my wrath."

Any and all who resist, can save against Polymorph Object, to turn them into trees, boulders, etc. One by one, starting with the ones who first attack. 'Readied action' against the first attacker, then they can roll initiative verse The Forest.