Not to get off topic, buuuuut...

Quote Originally Posted by Xefas View Post
Melusine is great, just because he's the crotchety old man archetype to the max, which makes him a perfect larger-than-life fantasy character.

"We di'n't 'ave yer new fangled 'Sending Stones' back in my day. We'd yell int'r a pickle jar, n' seal it up real quick 'like. Then we'd mail it to yer. 'course, we di'n't 'zactly have glass 't the time, what with the war n' all. Which war, ya ask? Well, it was wunna'them...primordial wars, whatcha call it? Asmodeus clearin' the original Baatorians outta Baator. Ah, I r'member Asmodeus when 'e was jus' knee-high t' a grasshopper. What? Y'never 'eard of a Baatorian? Er, blast ye spoiled whippersnappers! S'whats wrong with yer generation. Ya think just because the'r aint published stats fer somethin'...means it don't exist!"
"You call yourself a paladin? Ha! In my day, paladins didn't have any of your fancy armor or Holy Avengers. They didn't need it! I remember the first paladin who tried to kill me, good ol' Sir Ector. He smote me with a stick. Not any of your fancy maces or quarterstaffs, just a little twig, like you find lying around on the ground. It wasn't even pointed! And just that was enough to send me back to my phylactery. A real man, that Sir Ector.

"Of course, he survived four or five of my Rock Swarms to the face before that, and his armor was made out of ripped dishtowels. Oh yes, Rock Swarm is a spell! We didn't have any of your fancy-shmancy Meteor Swarms in those days. We couldn't afford them! And we couldn't have gotten them at 9th level even if we could afford them. I had to sacrifice a hundred epic spell slots and enough life force that I couldn't cast epic spells for the next hundred years just to power two Rock Swarms. And I was grateful!"