Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves

[NemoUtopia]

You can solve both of these.

1) Download inkscape, it's free.

2) Follow Trazoi's OOTS making guide.

Woot! Thanks for the tips. Linky to the guide?

I've enjoyed the latest three updates of Miko's Heart as much as the other chapters, NemoUtopia, mostly for their surreal feeling and building conflict. I found the latest of these updates especially engrossing and intriguing.

Thank ye! I especially tried to make the IFCC work in a way that was obvious but not overdone, and I'm glad the surreality of that particular section came through. Speaking of which, I was torn about how to do this next bit, which is longer than an extra-long section. As such, I have deemed it to be two sections: one non-crack section necessary to the arc immediately followed by a full crack story. It does, however, clearly time-stamp the arc within parallel OotS continuity, with Part 8 occuring right between the events of the last two panels of #499. As such, I've split up the parts for easier reading, but they're both right here:

Miko's Heart, Part 7

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I have traveled through the day, and the words of the fiends weigh heavily on my soul. I know that I need guidance now, some reference to myself. The Twelve remain silent to my prayers. It is the setting of the sun that things suddenly change; the world seems to swirl around me. Have I been betrayed once more? Are the fiends no better to their words than the others? It seems my fears are unfounded, however, for I find myself above the clouds without having even walked the winds.

There is no one around me, but I recognize this place. I was here before I was raised, alone as now. It seems my mount has not accompanied me. But I am not dead. Why am I here once more, left alone as before? I hope the answer comes as a beautiful winged creature appears, flying swiftly from the horizon. It speaks, and it seems as though the air itself tinkles with beauty, “Miko, Miko, Miko, what are we to do with you?”

I blink in confusion. I do not know this creature, though tales of angels are not unknown to me. I make my demands, “Why are you here? Where are the Twelve if I am in the heavens?”

The creature pulls a board of wood with some documents and leafs through them while speaking again, “I am your case handler, Miko. With so many dead after the battle of Azure City, I was unable to reach you. We were backlogged for days! I gained special permission from all the deities of Good and Law to make an exception and appear to you now.”

There is some sense in the creature’s claim…but why did I not then see all the other dead? “Because of my special purpose?”

The creature sighs, “Yes, Miko, but not the way you mean. The Twelve are keeping me from saying certain things, but they wanted you to know that your atonement is personal. No one else can do it for you. They asked me to relate a familiar proverb to you, ‘The loving parent cannot do their children’s learning.’ I am only permitted to say that they hope speaking to me and another acquaintance will help you.”

I feel the tears in my eyes, unbidden, “Then the Twelve still love me. How could I have doubted it?”

Case Handler smiles warmly, “Because you are mortal, Miko. Doubt leads to greater faith, just as encounters lead to levels…but there is always the danger of death. Now let us review your life.”

I shy away from this forward creature, uncomfortable despite its clear good intentions, “My entire life? Must we?”

I cannot escape the motherly and friendly aspect of this creature, “Yes, Miko, we must. The trouble with your case is that it hangs on the border between Lawful Neutral and Lawful Good. There is no doubt at all to your Lawfulness…you value and live by honor, the legal code of the Sapphire Guard and Azure City, and duty. They drive you forward. The trouble is that so little of your paladin work falls straight into the ‘good’ bin. And that’s ignoring your disturbing time after meeting the Order of the Stick.”

I cannot believe this insolence! “You must be joking, I undertook more than any others among the guard! I smote evil all over the world, defended the city valiantly, did my duty for the good of the people!”

The creature shakes her head sadly, “Yes Miko, you did more preemptive striking than any other. But attacking creatures who tend to be evil without provocation is a neutral act at best. The defense of others is certainly good, and your attitude and attempts to do so are very high marks in your favor. But most of your paladin activity is very strongly Lawful and only weakly Good. You’ve shown far more devotion to the letter of Law than its spirit, Miko, and that screams ‘Neutral’ in these parts.”

I contain my fury, for I now know this creature is not the cause. Striking the messenger is dishonorable! I must…must ask…myself? Who I’m really angry at? I speak slowly, “I…think I understand. That part. But I brought in criminals to see justice fairly! I slew a traitor!”

The creature sighs again, “Do you hear yourself Miko? You brought in prisoners fair trial, but denied that trial to an old man, and very nearly killed one…no, at least two adventurers for the same reason. He was unarmed and being taken into custody, Miko.”

I slash my verbal fury, “I have heard this argument before! How can that traitor not have deserved death! How can he be in paradise?!”

The seraph shakes her head, “Miko, his personal failure to you is a mitigating circumstance, but only to a degree. You passed summary judgment without looking at any other evidence, in ignorance of the laws in Azure City you were sword to uphold. Even if the laws he himself enacted or change counted as illegitimate authority, Soon’s original laws about justice remained largely intact. It was this consideration and Soon’s personal request that has given you this shot at redemption.”

The tears come once more, that kind and powerful Soon believed I deserved this chance. But he himself told me what redemption took. How rare and precious, how fragile and tenuous, how difficult and heartbreaking the road can be. I must….I must accept his words. I mumble in defeat, feeling so very tired, “I understand. Why haven’t you passed my application on then? You don’t seem to believe I belong on the Celestial Mountain.”

Now the seraph’s smile is warm and comforting, “Miko, I am not and cannot be like that. I just needed to help you see yourself truly. You are trying, Miko, so very hard. That itself means more than you can possibly know. I know you don’t agree with Shojo, and I certainly find his methods undeserving, but he also tried as hard as he could to be good, not evil. He has faced his purgatory and pain, and come through to his deserved afterlife.”

I hear all of my knuckles pop with the force of my clenched hands, trembling with fury, “He stole me from my home and left me to rot without a care.”

I feel the seraph’s empathy, “I know, Miko. His mistake is inexcusable. But inexcusable does not mean unforgivable. Any more than your own destruction of the Sapphire is unforgivable. Think of your own laws, Miko. It may not seem so, but he has paid his debt. We are not asking you to forgive him, Miko. Only to understand and move on. Did not your own training teach you the value of not letting one thing consume you?”

I choke past my tears, feeling as lost as that first night away from the monastery, “…yes.”

The seraph cups my face, wiping the tear away in a motherly fashion, “Miko, we know it’s hard. That’s why the rewards are so high, because we know your struggle are so very hard and your toil so very long. For now, though, a certain friend of yours is rushing down the mountain this very moment…”

Miko's Heart, Part 8

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I see handsome Roy rushing blindly from the opposite horizon towards some unknown destination, followed by a spinning ball of light. Without conscious thought, he is not running anymore. I am not sitting anymore. The seraph and glowing ball stand like mediators between Roy and myself. It is Roy who speaks first, “I so do not have time for another nuisance, I’m trying to find out why it’s taken so long the Order to get me back to the land of the living. The last thing I need is some crazy bitch on a revenge fantasy because she never grew up. Still not getting any Treasure Type O?”

The ball of light speaks much like the seraph, but I cannot discern a gender, before I can respond from shock, “Uh, Roy? You remember those things we wanted you to cut back on? You’re about to get a sharp lesson in why. And you aren’t on Paradise anymore, so can the lip about the oh-so-woeful distress to your delicate psyche.”

My anger rises, and it takes everything I have to keep my hands from my blades, “I am not some honorless dog for you to kick because of the past! I am not here to be in your way or harm you, I am not even here by my own will! I was about to commend you for your bravery against the lich, to tell you that I was mistaken about your deeds, but it seems you are not worth the time!”

Roy is taken aback and immediately apologetic, “Geez, I’m sorry, alright? I’m trying to get back to the land of the living to stop Xykon for real this time, and our past few encounters haven’t exactly been CR 0. Why the hell wasn’t I briefed on this, Roy’s Archon?”

The little ball of light interjects as Roy rubs his temples, “If you hadn’t been babbling all eigh…nine days down the mountain with your circular worry, you might have made a single Listen check. I don’t have the hands the hands or feet to get your attention, remember?”

Roy groans and my anger calms somewhat. He spoke in haste. We all make mistakes like that, and I suppose…I suppose I am not one to point fingers about making assumptions after all. Roy speaks slowly at first, “Alright. Alright! I really am sorry, Miko. I know you were trying to do what you thought was right, but they briefed me on the Sapphire. We almost had that bony bastard, and I wouldn’t be rushing back to my ignoramus of a father!”

I speak softly, “I know that now, I acted in error. You surely do not deserve the outcome. I am…coming to accept that. I…you…maybe…”

Roy’s eyes sparkle handsomely for a moment as he mumbles under his breath, something I believe I was not meant to fully hear, “Miko…admitting she was wrong? Trying to make up for it? I…never thought…damn, I remember now why I wanted to get along with her.”

The hot blush rises, but I bow my head slightly and hope the shade of my hood hides it. So it is true! That what others see in me is tarnished by my…my what? Immediate aggression? Assumptions? Roy speaks words I am meant to hear that break through my thoughts, “Look, Miko…we got off on a bad foot and sort of made poor dance partners. Ah, crap, these are character development panels, aren’t they? At least no matter how much we blab in those panels, no time seems to pass…alright, Miko, is there anything you want to ask me? Talk to me about?”

The seraph smiles warmly at Roy and the light archon bobs up and down with a vague sense of approval. The words form from my heart, “Why was I so misguided? Why was my upholding the laws not good?”

The seraph frowns now and starts to speak, but Roy interrupts her with an open palm, “Okay, I think I get it now. Look, I know I’m not an expert on law and chaos here, and they almost made a lateral pass with me because of it. But Miko, the goodness comes from the individual. If you act with rationality or purpose, that’s just personal conviction or Lawfulness…that’s not good or evil in itself. The goodness comes from why you make those choices and being honest with yourself about them.”

Coming from Roy, I believe I finally understand why the Gods stripped me of the Paladin’s Mantle. I cannot escape my personal anger with Shojo and its influence on my actions. Or how often mere anger, not righteous anger, guided my blade. I step slowly across the space to him and lean my forehead against his strong chest. Roy seems surprised but pleased, and his arms wrap around my shoulders. I find this…very pleasing. I wrap my arms around him and lean further into him, blushing as I glance to the Seraph and the archon, “Are they trying to make me feel guilty about personal…about intimate…about…”

Roy chuckles strongly, “I’ve already had this particular discussion, and yes they are. That doesn’t mean you should. You really are beautiful when you smile, Miko.”

I avert my eyes for a moment before looking up to him, my strength returning. “Thank you for being understanding. For helping me. Maybe if we meet again…”

I cannot finish my sentence but lean as much as I can into his muscled torso, fingers twirling idly on his back. Roy grins in a way that seems knowing, “Oh, absolutely. You bring the tea and we can talk all we want. Tactics and old fights aren’t the only things about that interest me, you know.”

I smile contentedly and sigh against him, “…but for now you must go? And I think so must I.”

Roy grunts, “I don’t like it either, but you’re right. I think your case handler is at the edge of her leeway by that stern look and I really do need to find out what’s holding up my other friends. I really hate dramatic irony sometimes, it just slays me.”

I giggle a bit as we pull away, finding it hard to let go of Roy and very pleased that he seems to have the same reluctance. The world swirls again as we are no longer touching, and I touch my cheek to keep the warmness of him close a moment longer. Night falls and I am mounted again, as smoothly as though no time had passed at all. Making camp is not difficult this night, and neither is sleep. My dreams are not so troubled.