The best option, for fighters, is the ACF in Drow of the Underdark. (It's implied but never stated to be Drow-specific, so check with your DM.)

You give up heavy armor and tower shields, never of which a dexterous fighter is likely to use, and get a +2 bonus on initiative checks and add your dex bonus to damage against flat-footed foes. It's a little more restrictive than I'd like, but you don't add dex instead of strength, so that's nice. Another problem is that it's a competence bonus instead of untyped, but what can you do?

There's also a magic sword from the Arms and Equipment Guide that gives you dex to damage all the time instead of strength, but it's extremely expensive.

Person Man's thread really is a wonderful resource.