D&D Snippets

[Lady Moreta]

As for the obviousness of D&D: we-elll, I'm not sure that's a bad thing in this case. But I'm a fan of stories based on stuff that happened in-game, and thus of the fact that it shows decisions are made in split seconds, aren't always correct, and so on. "You can't make this stuff up" kind of story, essentially.

Oh, I love not having to come up with the plot myself... my problem is the fact that initially, my writing wasn't very subtle. For example, when Silver casts message, I think how I originally wrote it sounds stupid and yes very overly D&Dish. I think something like 'she grabs a piece of copper wire and whispers a spell. Now they can keep in contact' sounds better.

As for that snippet: "screaks" seems to be a US-dialect word. I actually had to look up the word for that sound, and that one seemed to evoke the feeling best. I'll look up the rule on "Fai and I". :)

Oh, I think it was a fantastic word. Perfectly fit what you meant I think. I'd just never heard it before. But that's okay, I like new words

Lord Gareth: http://www.thefreedictionary.com/screak

As for the rule... If I understand you correctly, then, I technically used it in the right manner, since "I" and "Fai" are both subjects, and "I exchange a dark look with Fai" is correct. However, "I exchange a dark look with Fai" is just better-flowing English.

Except that's not what you wrote. You wrote "I and Fai exchanged dark looks". Which, according to what Gareth posted, is technically incorrect. If you had written "I exchange a dark look with Fai" that would be perfectly correct. I don't want to nitpick, just clarify

And I'm still attempting Lirrin's backstory - or at least, her reason for leaving her village and joined the city guard. I have the reasoning in place, I'm just struggling to get the writing started.