The Cliched cliche of Cliches!!!!

[Silverscale]

My friends and I are starting a 4.0 game full of cleche's. So far, we started out in a tavern in the middle of a bar fight, went to the cellar to fight rats, the Mage cast Magic Missile at the Darkness, and we've gone after cowardly Kobolds.

I just want to make sure we get in as many cliche's as possible so if anyone can think of any realy good/funny ones, that would be cool.

Oh yeah and we're about to go after a princess who may very well be locked in a tower.

[Athaniar]

TVTropes is perfect for this.

*Make sure the BBEG is a typical Evil Overlord who ignores every aspect of the Evil Overlord List.

*Dwarves should be Dwarves.

*Chicks in less than average clothing (which might actually be average clothing if you use this trope enough)!

[root9125]

TVTropes is perfect for this.

*Make sure the BBEG is a typical Evil Overlord who ignores every aspect of the Evil Overlord List.

*Dwarves should be Dwarves.

*Chicks in less than average clothing (which might actually be average clothing if you use this trope enough)!

I accidentally ignored a physics lecture for TVTropes. May a thousand fleas infest your armpits.

:-P

[Mulletmanalive]

Orc

10ft x 10ft room

Chest, suspiciously unlocked.

One of the above guards the others.

Done and done.

[Godskook]

Monty Python. That is all.

[Djinn_in_Tonic]

Was the quest given by a mysterious cloaked stranger? Is there a prophecy involving the PCs? Must an ancient artifact be destroyed before untold devastation hits the world?

[Eldan]

If the message is not delivered by a cloaked stranger, have a messenger die from an arrow wound on the tavern's doorstep.

Make sure to involve gelatinous cubes, goblins, orcs and other monsters that have been around forever.

[AzazelSephiroth]

-Don't forget to make one of the Major villians the father, mother, or uncle/aunt of one of the PCs!
-Make sure to have the wizened Mage in a lone tower who has all the Knowledge of the world and yet can never give a straight answer.
-A random Unicorn or two with a virgin rider.
-Red Dragon in Lava Cave with Orc or goblinoid minions on a Giant pile of gold housing an ancient Dwarven Artifact.

[Morty]

Make sure that PCs only win after discovering the true meaning of friendship and overcoming humorous conflicts between their personalities.

[Lord_Gareth]

Use the 3.5 alignment system, precisely as presented, and then strictly enforce it. Morality? Pssh, this is fantasy.

[Eldan]

-Don't forget to make one of the Major villians the father, mother, or uncle/aunt of one of the PCs!

You forgot scorned lover and evil twin.


Also, roll on the following improvised table to name things on your world map:

1 Forest.... 1. of Doom
2 Valley.... 2. of Death
3 Desert .... 3. of Despair
4 Mountains .... 4. of Darkness
5 Tower .... 5. of Destruction
6 Sea .... 6. of Damnation
7 Gorge ....7. of... more D-words.

[Squirrel_Domain]

-Give each dungeon a cliche theme (fire level, ice level, cave, etc..)

-make the main quest to collect "crystals" with an appropriately themed crystal at the end of each dungeon

-when someone is losing a fight and is on the verge of giving up, they are revived through the encouragement of their friends and asspull a win

-find some way to involve the phrase "meddling kids" into a baddies speach

[FlyingWhale]

Slowly entwine your story with that of anything Tolkien... Game. Set. Match.

[DracoDei]

-find some way to involve the phrase "meddling kids" into a baddies speach

Sounds like you need an age regression spell... if you need to keep it simple, just make the mechanical effects equivalent to "Reduce Person", and/or a reversed size gain for a monster.

[Violet Octopus]

* Meet lots of NPCs who are much more powerful than you but for some reason can never assist you.
* Have the baddies wear spiky black armour. Meet a noble NPC paladin who falls and becomes the BBEG's blackguard (gaining spiky armour in the process)
* Have another mysterious NPC who is revealed to be a dragon in alternate form.
* Find a portal that lets your characters crossover into the real world.

You forgot scorned lover and evil twin.


Also, roll on the following improvised table to name things on your world map:

1 Forest.... 1. of Doom
2 Valley.... 2. of Death
3 Desert .... 3. of Despair
4 Mountains .... 4. of Darkness
5 Tower .... 5. of Destruction
6 Sea .... 6. of Damnation
7 Gorge ....7. of... more D-words.

Desolation
Dread
Dolorousness
Distress
Dentistry

[Mercenary Pen]

Question, will there be occasional reversal of cliches- just to stop the players being able to second-guess everything?

Have a quest to save a princess from the tower of the dragon (alternatively, if you're willing to reverse cliches, see the spoiler in my sig for a reversal of this quest).

[Flarp]

Mysterious cloaked strangers, linked to weird occurrences. And by weird occurrences, I mean a dead messenger on your doorstep, an amnesiac warrior, a beer-drinking dwarf, and a snarky forest-loving elf.

[golentan]

Orc

10ft x 10ft room

Chest, suspiciously unlocked.

One of the above guards the others.

Done and done.

But why is the mimic guarding the Orc? A cliched orc is never a caster, and therefore should be a soldier, and should be guarding the room.

These are all the tabletop tropes on the aforementioned site, read through them. Many are cliches, and thus useful. I'd also recommend bringing in some cross-genre and medium cliches (you mentioned a princess in a castle? I'm sorry, the princess is in another castle). Ask all your players to base their character word for word on an existing fictional character if it's not too late. Make it so that plots can ONLY be advanced by cliches, they will never get the next plot hook until they ask "is there a dark stranger in the corner" and go talk to them.

[Darcand]

You are sitting in a tavern when a cloaked stranger approaches. "I have a message for you from my master" he rasps, sliding a folded piece of paper onto the bar. Before you can respond he turns and moves briskly toward the door.

(We follow after him!)

You reach him just as he opens the door. You touch his arm and turns to face you. His eyes go wide with surprise and slumps forward against you, a black feathered arrow protruding from his back. "M-Mordred..." he murmers with his last breath.

(I run outside!)

It is dark and stormy outside in the streets, but as lighting flashes you catch a glimps of a figure dressed all in black vanishing across the rooftop of a nearby building, but quickly loose sight of him in the rain.

(We read the note!)

You unfold the note, in spidery script is written; (Hero's name) I need your help, my daughter has been taken by a dark force who plans to use her for unspeakable evil! Please, my need is dire! (Local Noble's Name)

[King of Nowhere]

Also, roll on the following improvised table to name things on your world map:

1 Forest.... 1. of Doom
2 Valley.... 2. of Death
3 Desert .... 3. of Despair
4 Mountains .... 4. of Darkness
5 Tower .... 5. of Destruction
6 Sea .... 6. of Damnation
7 Gorge ....7. of... more D-words.

Love that table! Maybe I'm going to use it.

[T.G. Oskar]

Also, roll on the following improvised table to name things on your world map:

1 Forest.... 1. of Doom
2 Valley.... 2. of Death
3 Desert .... 3. of Despair
4 Mountains .... 4. of Darkness
5 Tower .... 5. of Destruction
6 Sea .... 6. of Damnation
7 Gorge ....7. of... more D-words.

You forgot "Dungeon" on the left. And Destard, Deceit, and Despise on the right. Will try to get a cookie to whomever gets it.

[Mercenary Pen]

You forgot "Dungeon" on the left. And Destard, Deceit, and Despise on the right. Will try to get a cookie to whomever gets it.

Well, let's face it, the table needs expanding anyway... because there ain't such a thing as a d7...

[Kiren]

Have a guy that wears a white cloak and does nothing but pray and hug people with one arm.... and then they die. Edit: I think he had been highly armed.... but he was praying so he couldn't of done it.

[Eldan]

Well, let's face it, the table needs expanding anyway... because there ain't such a thing as a d7...

That was a subtle joke, actually. I think I actually saw a table somewhere in an old that included impossible numbers, like d13.

[TelemontTanthul]

Elves.

In the forest.

And they want everyone to leave them alone.

But they can't seem to isolate themselves.

Oh, and all orcs have an intelligence of 4, but a strength of 20.

Dwarves love beer.

Oh, and an Evil Wizard living in a tower decides to try and take over the world, but fails because he is a cliche' villian whose downfall is entirely dependent upon his inability to not monologue.

[King of Nowhere]

Every place in the world, it is utterly enchanted. No forest is a simple bunch of trees, no ruin is a simple place that was abandoned years ago.

There was an ancient age of greatness with magic that cannot even be comprehended today, but it is all lost now.

[UnChosenOne]

Also remember that all Necromancer do either a) have dead litel sister b) animate corpses just for evulz.

[lesser_minion]

Well, let's face it, the table needs expanding anyway... because there ain't such a thing as a d7...

Actually...

Generating a number from 1-7 isn't difficult - you can use a d14 and halve the result, or you can roll a d8 and re-roll 8s.

Also, 7 x 14 = 98. You can just re-roll any rolls of 99-00 if you use a d100.

As for words beginning in 'D', try Devastation.

Locations include Castle, Temple, Plain, City, and Field.

How you handle vampires might be an interesting question - I actually find "popular misconceptions about vampires include X,Y and Z" to be worse than actually having vampires who are vulnerable to everything.

[Maldraugedhen]

I accidentally ignored a physics lecture for TVTropes. May a thousand fleas infest your armpits.

:-P

It's not like they don't warn you.

[Kanosint]

Actually...

Generating a number from 1-7 isn't difficult - you can use a d14 and halve the result, or you can roll a d8 and re-roll 8s.

Also, 7 x 14 = 98. You can just re-roll any rolls of 99-00 if you use a d100.

Yes, or, ya know, 2d4-1 :P Or is that too simple?

As for cliches, depends on the genre :P Wizards should be old and have pointy hats, though... With robes.

Cross-genre: One of the villain's right-hand men is really a woman, but once she sees the hero, she falls in love with him, and betrays her master in the final showdown to help her crush XD