So You Want to Punch Out Cthulhu

[Amiel]

The/An immense Cosmic Horror/Abhorrent One has pierced the veil between worlds and wishes to feed upon the souls, the brains, the bodies of the huddled pathetic masses below. Its very presence ravages flesh, liquefying it into thick chunks of vomit, and warps the mind, leaving gibbering, drooling husks.

A multitude of parasites descends thickly as it shakes its prodigious bulk. Every action dislodging a seemingly infinite number, each powerful in their own right, a host of locusts desiring to rend everything to carrion, and a virulent acidic rain that burns craters and holes in buildings and flesh.

What can be done?

[Sir Homeslice]

Throw a bunch of Solar Exalted at it.

[Lysander]

Plane Shift. Yourself, that is.

[Lycanthromancer]

No match for a core-only wizard.

[Gamgee]

I get some MOTHER ****ING BEEDRILL ON HIS ASS!!!!

[The Demented One]

Throw a bunch of Solar Exalted at it.

If you need more than five Solar Exalts to kill any one thing, something has gone horribly wrong.

[tribble]

If you need more than five Solar Exalts to kill any one thing, something has gone horribly wrong.

If you need one of any kind of exalt the situation ain't peaches and cream.

[Kyeudo]

If you need more than five Solar Exalts to kill any one thing, something has gone horribly wrong.

He did mention an infinite number of cosmic parasites in addition to Cthulu. We might want to throw the Solar's Lunar mates into the fight as well, if only to keep the distractions away from the real fight.

[chiasaur11]

Step 1: Rip.

Step 2: Tear.


Repeat as needed. If subject falls under size classification A-7 (Huge) consult subsection 47-J (Huge Guts).

[Overshee]

If you need more than five Solar Exalts to kill any one thing, something has gone horribly wrong.

Didn't someone do a test of 5 Solars vs FAFL where the solars kinda epically lost?

[The Demented One]

Didn't someone do a test of 5 Solars vs FAFL where the solars kinda epically lost?

That may well be! The fact that you're capable of losing is what makes the game fun. But, you're also capable of winning!

[Tavar]

Does FAFL have a printed statblock, though? I though the biggest enemy printed as of yet was the Mask of Winters.

Also, as TTGL would probably do a good job.

[Agrippa]

Send in Murlynd, Heward, Zagyg, Celestian, Phaulkon, Keoghtom and Mordenkainen. Who knows, they just might win.

[ShneekeyTheLost]

Send in Murlynd, Heward, Zagyg, Celestian, Phaulkon, Keoghtom and Mordenkainen. Who knows, they just might win.

nah, those guys are way sub-optimal.

Failing Pun-Pun, there's several ways to accomplish this:

Cindy could manage it, I'm sure, although she may have to open up a Titan Chain to do it

Any wizard build incorporating Incantatrix and Initiate of the Sevenfold Veil would also likely be up to the task, as the Violet Veil is sufficent to protect said wizard for the two rounds necessary to obliterate everything.

A properly built Hellfire Glaivelock might do it, although it would likely have to resort to Eldritch Cone for dealing with the swarms before going in for the kill. The only reason why it would have to be a Hellfire Glaivelock is Hellfire Blast bypasses all elemental immunities. Supernatural Transformation makes it a (Su) ability rather than (Sp) and thus no longer subject to SR. This bypasses any defenses the Thing might have, and thus actually do enough damage to it to destroy it.

A properly optimized Hulking Hurler could toss a moon at it and kill it

A properly optimized UberCharger could manage it, assuming he had sufficent abjurations to protect himself from the warping effects of the aura long enough to get his one round off

A properly cheesy Candle of Invocation use might be able to Balor Bomb it.

[LurkerInPlayground]

Hope that I die first.

[chiasaur11]

Hope that I die first.

Haven't you read Howard?

Death doesn't end your problems.

[Satyr]

Just drop a boat on it.
Has worked for Cthulhu, so it's a proven technique.

I think that the Exalted are a particular bad idea - nobody is resistant against the basic terror of the Elder Ones - namely that the universe just doesn't care and that you are utterly and completely unimportant no matter what you ever do or achieve (I know, it's a bit like strating the obvious). Now the more those who face the Elder One are convinced from the opposite, the harder they fall.
And I really don't want to know what a bunch of mind-crushed, depressive solars would do.

[Lycanthromancer]

Any of the tier 1 and 2 classes could do so. I know I could do it with a psion/metamind, or just a straight psion.

I could probably kill it with a level 7 wizard or so.

[LurkerInPlayground]

Haven't you read Howard?

Death doesn't end your problems.

Sometimes it does.

This is a cold and amoral universe with no afterlife after all.

[Gamgee]

Just drop a boat on it.
Has worked for Cthulhu, so it's a proven technique.

I think that the Exalted are a particular bad idea - nobody is resistant against the basic terror of the Elder Ones - namely that the universe just doesn't care and that you are utterly and completely unimportant no matter what you ever do or achieve (I know, it's a bit like strating the obvious). Now the more those who face the Elder One are convinced from the opposite, the harder they fall.
And I really don't want to know what a bunch of mind-crushed, depressive solars would do.

So hypothetically if I went in the opposite of that and was all happy and cheerful I mean nothing I am guessing they would explode in shock or something? It's clear these here elder gods are just bored of people all acting the same.

[TheCountAlucard]

I think that the Exalted are a particular bad idea - nobody is resistant against the basic terror of the Elder Ones - namely that the universe just doesn't care and that you are utterly and completely unimportant no matter what you ever do or achieve (I know, it's a bit like strating the obvious).

I'm sorry, I just kicked off my mental perfect defense, completely blotting the concept of not being important to the universe from my mind; what was that? Plus, Valor 5; what is fear?

Dude, the Solars were made to take on creatures like that; take Cthulhu, make him the size of continental Asia, and give him seperate free-willed organs that you can meet and hold conversations with, and that's what the Exalted were designed to fight. If there are Solar Exalted to deal with this, then all the stuff that HPL wrote about with there being no gods, no destinies, no hope, et cetera, is invalid.

Oh, and then I use Heart-Compelling Method. Now the universe does care about me.

What can be done?

Get a few Warstriders, while we're at it.

[magic9mushroom]

Plane Shift + demiplane of Temporal Stasis.

[Seffbasilisk]

Halfling Crusader. Win initiative. Wear gauntlets.

[ZeroNumerous]

I think that the Exalted are a particular bad idea - nobody is resistant against the basic terror of the Elder Ones - namely that the universe just doesn't care and that you are utterly and completely unimportant no matter what you ever do or achieve (I know, it's a bit like strating the obvious). Now the more those who face the Elder One are convinced from the opposite, the harder they fall.
And I really don't want to know what a bunch of mind-crushed, depressive solars would do.

See, your basic assumption is that Solars give a damn. Hint: They don't. To put it in terms someone who has never played Exalted could understand: The stronger and more invincible/undefeatable/super god-like you are, the more likely Solars are to defeat you. Solars can win on the basis of narrative power. The villain is invincible? Solars find or create an achilles heel. The villain is immortal? Solars find a way to kill it. They don't win because they're strong, even though they are ridiculously strong. A Solar wins because a Solar cannot lose.

Even if you successfully defeat one Solar the story will bring yet another Solar against you. Maybe next time the Solar will have buddies. Either way, Solars are sort of like great epic heroes ala King Arthur or Beowulf. They will win at any cost. They might be killed in the process, but the Rule of Cool makes their success inevitable.

In short: Yes. A Solar(or two, or three or you might even need five) will win.

[TheCountAlucard]

The villain is immortal? Solars find a way to kill it.

Or, to put it in someone else's words: "Immortal just means a Solar hasn't tried to kill it yet."

[Satyr]

This is pretty much a question of persepctive, which basic concept of the universe you assume - if you argue that the Exalted universe idea is the correct one, you are absolutely right, but then there are no cosmic horrors- just a bunch of extraplanar Godzillas - but that's not even close to what makes the Mythos so cruel.
If you assume that the Lovecraftian universe is the correct basic assumption, than the universe is a cold and careless place and his acknowledgement is too big for any mind to cope with it, and the more powerful and self-assured you are, the more terrible is this revelation. It doesn't matter that Cthulhu (that tentacle-mouthed pushover) can probably devour a city. He can, but that's one of the least interesting aspect of it. The true devastating aspect is, that Mythos completely undermines and destroys anything you have loveds, or believed in. That's why people go mad when they learn too much about the Myhos - not because of the acknowledgement that there are more powerful entities out there than your school wisdom can explain, but because they. don't. care. They don't have to. The whole universe only exists in the dreams of a blind idiot god.
it is unlikely that both concepts could coexist, so you probably have to pick one. That doesn't mean that some kind of a crossover campaign based on a compromise between both concepts wouldn't be awesome.

Cthulhu was defeated by a steamboat headbutt. His physical threat isn't that high, after all. Even in a purist Lovecraft universe, a dedicated military action can easily defeat most of the world's elder beings - take, for example the Innsmouth incident. If Cthulhu can't stand a blow to a head with a boat, just think what an artillery shell or torpedo would do (The answer is probaly Calamari, by the way).
With modern technology, you could probably drop an H-Bomb on R'lyeh and that was it. Good Bye, Mr. Cthulhu (at least for a longer time period; it is hinted that nothing ever stays dead- That is not dead which can eternal lie,/And with strange aeons even death may die).
The horror comes from the fact that it doesn't matter. Nothing you will ever do matters at all. And the pure existence of the Elder Ones proves this to you.

And Cthulhu? He is only a high priest of his race. He isn't the only one, but probably a very powerful one of the "Star Spawn" who in turn are so powerful that they himself are worshipped as gods by the Deep Ones. Now, when Cthulhu is ap priest, what gods does he worship?

[Admiral Squish]

Punching out Cthulu is extremely relevant to my interests at the moment. Please, continue this discussion.

[magic9mushroom]

Thing about the Mythos is that there's this basic assumption that knowing how insignificant you are makes you go mad.

This is kinda demonstrably not true, what with how tiny we now know we are.

[Admiral Squish]

Thing about the Mythos is that there's this basic assumption that knowing how insignificant you are makes you go mad.

This is kinda demonstrably not true, what with how tiny we now know we are.

You KNOW you're tiny and insignificant, but you don't UNDERSTAND it. It's something you just can't grasp. You don't really know how big a million is, because you've never counted to it. You just generally know it's a big number. Same thing applies to a state. You've never really experienced just how big a state is. Same thing applies to the national, planetary, and cosmic scale.

[OracleofWuffing]

I have been informed that Narwhals, being the jedi of the sea, are capable of stopping Cthulhu. I suggest lots and lots of Narwhals. Heck, let's roll up a Narwhal Solar for Exalted and see what happens.

Failing that, I will throw 4chan at it.