Magic items - creativity needed

[WarKitty]

I need some ideas for "useless" magic items. I'm not looking for things that are strictly useless, but items that would obviously be intended for someone other than an adventurer. Like an amulet whose sole purpose is to alert you if one of your plants needs watering or fertilizer.

The backstory: an evil cleric group confiscated all the magic items in the area. The PC's have found a big bag of magic rings and amulets confiscated. I want to give the feel that magic was used in every-day life before the clerics took over. Plus I'm not giving them a huge bag of *useful* magic items. I presume the majority of the items will have fairly low-level effects, the type of thing a commoner might own to help his business.

[Flob]

Tells you what type of wood something is made of.

How fertile the soil is.

Time-piece (may actually be useful).

Whether or not this will be a bountiful crop season.

I don't know.

On a more personal matter, how goes the updating of the character potrait, WarKitty?

[WarKitty]

Tells you what type of wood something is made of.

How fertile the soil is.

Time-piece (may actually be useful).

Whether or not this will be a bountiful crop season.

I don't know.

On a more personal matter, how goes the updating of the character potrait, WarKitty?

Thanks...ugh I totally spaced on the character portrait, it's been done but I forgot to send it.

[Mongoose87]

An amulet that tells you if the surface it's on is level.

[The Rabbler]

for not-useful:

animated plows.
ring of handle animal +20.
gloves of craft (x) + 20.
magic toys of various sorts.
eternal wand of speak with dead (not sure if this is legal, but it'd be a nice idea).
that mush-spoon (enough gruel for 4 people 1/day)
the bottomless feedbag.
some sort of item that casts tenser's floating disc or unseen servant at will.
decanter of endless water that can only use the lowest... setting (for lack of a better word).
heatstone.
pebble of weight (used for weightlifting).
perfume of attractiveness.

[Cute_Riolu]

Rabbler, a lot of that stuff players would easily find a use for. Ring of +20 Crafting? Sign me up! Pebble of Weight? Drop it on an enemy's head. Bottomless feedbag? Pull out enough to provide cover. Animated Plows? Rent them out to foreign farmers.

Expect your players to find good use for any number of the random items. :P

[WarKitty]

Stuff they can find creative uses for is ok, although it shouldn't be *too* obvious. Although unlimited items could be made less handy for them by just putting on a high limit...say the bag provides enough feed per day for a team of 4 horses. And the crafting I'd imagine would be craft (sewing) or something.

I fully expect some of this stuff to be abused in creative ways. I have a bunch of RP'ers, they'll probably go out of their way to do so and thoroughly enjoy it.

[AslanCross]

-A Bag of Holding that can only contain cow manure. It spits out everything else.

-Pillows that always remain fluffy and soft.

-A tiny golem whose sole purpose is to scoop up after a pet dog.

-A magical glove that keeps things it touches at a constant temperature. This item gives no protection from extreme heat or extreme cold.

-An enormous astronomical chart that tracks the seasons and weather without error that also recommends what kind of crops would do well given the conditions. (Okay, that's actually pretty useful.)

-A fine set of garments that automatically repair any minor to them.

-Everfull Milk Saucer for cats.

-A glove that protects from small static electric shocks. (I'm talking doorknob zapping here, not lightning.)

[lsfreak]

A bee-attractor (for pollination, with hilarious side effects if the PC's don't know about it).
A ring with x number of charges. Used to reverse the sex of plants. Most farmers wouldn't even realize that by using 10 charges, you can alter the sex of a person.
Pebbles that act as fertilizer for a single plant.
Instantly kills all <insert insectoid plant pest here> within 20 feet. Alternatively, instantly creates a swarm of parasitic wasps that targets that pest (and these wasps are non-magical, permanent).
Makes target creature ready to mate, for faster lamb/foal/whatever production.
Creates an hour of light but steady rain within 50 feet.
Paste that patches up a weak spot in a tree, countering decay, keeping splits from happening at a weak joint, regrowth over a lighting-struck spot, or so on.

[Raging Gene Ray]

Rabbler, a lot of that stuff players would easily find a use for. Ring of +20 Crafting? Sign me up! Pebble of Weight? Drop it on an enemy's head. Bottomless feedbag? Pull out enough to provide cover. Animated Plows? Rent them out to foreign farmers.

Depends on how high level they are. A +20 Ring of Jumping would be useless to a party that could all already fly somehow, and a ring that killed all vermin within a radius would be useless if you're not fighting any level appropriate swarms.

Animated Plows sounded like a good idea, but couldn't exactly fit in a bag.

Maybe a music box that contained a song of Inspire Competence and granted bonuses for a particular skill?

A shower head that produced water and adjusted its temperature?

Stones of light that could be turned on and off with a command word and mounted on walls?

Mood rings, Animated Pillows (which is what I first thought Animated Plows was), Sprinklers (Create Water when a certain condition like dryness in the ground is fulfilled), Animated Underwear and other novelties that even commoners have no use for but buy anyway.

A Lute or Harp with Amplify cast on it.

[JaronK]

An Eternal Wand of Prestidigitation (useful for cleaning the house daily). A toothbrush that cleans your teeth of all plaque instantly, and also kills mouth germs, while healing the gums, every time it's used. A bucket that, on command, fills with warm soapy water. A small stone that gives off light like the sun (useful for growing plants). A painting that magically shows the picture you'd find most beautiful and poignant at this moment. A magical tent that sets itself up, makes itself hard to see for anyone but the owner, and always keeps itself at a constant temperature inside. A magical clock (it always has the right time).

JaronK

[graeylin]

whisk broom that sweeps up 500 square feet each day.
small metal stake that keeps all weeds from growing within 25 feet.
bucket that fills itself twice a day with fresh water.
small round disc that makes vermin search elsewhere for food and nesting (won't prevent swarms or larger vermin from attacking, however).
small purse that will produce 10 copper pieces a day, 3 times a week.
a small metal rod that will magically stick to any vertical surface, and auto level itself. a faint, tiny beam of light comes out either end when a command word is spoken, and marks the level line along the surface.
a small hook that will stick to wood surfaces, and hold up to 5 pounds.
a larger hook that will stick to wood surfaces, and hold 15 pounds
a small candle that burns only at night, illuminating very faintly about 25 square feet of room.
a small rug that magically makes dirt placed underneath it disappear over 2 hours.
a small disk that when placed on a wooden door makes it shrink slightly (up to 1%), used for wooden doors that swell in the rains.
a small pair of clay brick that magically warms boots when placed inside.

[Raging Gene Ray]

An Eternal Wand of Prestidigitation (useful for cleaning the house daily). A toothbrush that cleans your teeth of all plaque instantly, and also kills mouth germs, while healing the gums, every time it's used. A bucket that, on command, fills with warm soapy water. A small stone that gives off light like the sun (useful for growing plants). A painting that magically shows the picture you'd find most beautiful and poignant at this moment. A magical tent that sets itself up, makes itself hard to see for anyone but the owner, and always keeps itself at a constant temperature inside. A magical clock (it always has the right time).

JaronK

I'd expect some of these to have "AS SEEN ON TV" labels. They do sound pretty useful to non-adventurers...and IRL.

[Abd al-Azrad]

I already love this thread.

"Spice": single-use Prestidigitations in the form of a handful of powder. Meant to make food taste better or rub down your body so you don't stink for a special occasion... but hugely versatile.

A goblet that will fill itself with any liquid the bearer can name (or to limit, any liquid that has already been poured into the goblet once).

An dowsing rod that can detect water (and is not blocked by earth or unhewn stone).

A mirror you can command to show you the location of a nearby small object (Locate Object)... "My freakin' keys!"

small purse that will produce 10 copper pieces a day, 3 times a week.

Oh god no! You break economics! WRAAATH!

[OracleofWuffing]

No matter how worthless the items are, it is a PC's duty to find a valuable use for them!

-Glows when exposed to direct sunlight.
-Permanently displays a message (like an engraving, but magic does it), or displays the image of one's spouse.
-A pair of items that softly hum when they are within 15ft of each other.
-Crankless Jack-in-the-Box.
-Empty candy dish that can only hold pieces of candy.
-Diningware which never bends and/or cleans itself.
-Beans that shake and jump around.
-Makes one's waistline appear one inch thinner/thicker, depending on the setting's view of which one's more beautiful.
-When amulet is removed, the owner's shoes are gently removed and placed next to the doorway.

[deuxhero]

- A gourd that produces an infinite amount of cheep booze.

[JeminiZero]

Eureka Pot- 1/day, tells you the metallic composition by weight, of a single item that can fit into the pot. Commonly used by blacksmiths.

Barne's Boring Bookstand: When a book is placed on this stand, the stand will try to open it, and then go through page by page, reading out the contents in a dull monotone voice. It can only understand clearly written common, and skips through sections that it cannot read. It cannot decipher magical script (including explosive runes). Usable up to 10 mins per day, divided as wished.

Colgate's Colourful Cup: 2/day, this small cup fills itself with a fruity flavored fluid, whose colour depends on the exact fruit flavor. Gargling with the fluid reduces the chance of plaque and leaves your breath minty fresh!

[herrhauptmann]

Wedding ring of fidelity.
Tells you if your spouse has removed their ring (and in who's company), and tells you if they've committed adultery.

[sambo.]

love the thread. but some of the items mentioned could be hideously abused (eternal wand of prestidigitation? c'mon....).

how about:

a Set of Stirring Utensils: a wooden spoon and a balloon whisk that can stir a bowl of ingredients on their own.

a scarecrow that automatically frightens (or at least attempts to frighten) off birds from crops.

magic sweeping broom that only functions indoors.

a ring of +10 to Knowledge: <Harvest/Crop Rotation/Crop Pests> checks (make it really, really narrowly focused)

amulet of immunity to Vermin stings (regular bees, wasps and the like)

[deuxhero]

A material competent pouch. Farmers have more than enough uses for infinite bat poo.

[Bigbrother87]

I've been cooking up some useless and some useful items for a 2e AD&D campaign, based on The Lost Room Objects concept, and the actual objects used started as the ones the vestige Andromalious carries, so here's what I've got:

(Each is loosely based on a clerical sphere from the Tome of Magic, and yes, if you use them together Things Happen.)

Spoiler

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Belt Purse (All)
At noon each day, it duplicates one coin at random that is placed within it. Seems to be able to hold an unlimited amount of Objects.

Mouse (Animal)
Any animal(of animal intelligence) seeing this mouse will always stop and watch it, until the mouse leaves their view.

Silver Key (Astral)
As per Astral Window, but only through any keyhole that this key is used on.

Pair of Dice (Chaos)
When rolled, something happens a number of rounds later equal to the number rolled. See the wild surge chart for ideas ;)

Mirror (Charm)
Always shows a good image of its owner.

Arm bone (Combat)
This functions as a magical weapon for damage calculations, 1d6 damage club.

Potion bottle (Creation)
When a portion of any non-magical liquid is placed into this bottle, and the stopper replaced, after a day the bottle is filled with that liquid.

Closed black book (Divination)
Under the full moon, opens to list your heart's desire, and the way to get the heart's desire of whoever opened it last.

Dove (Elemental Air)
Calms winds around it in a large area. Note, the Mouse (Animal) Object does effect the Dove.

Copper Coin (Elemental Fire)
When flipped, it catches fire. This is purely natural fire, and can easily be extinguished.

Compass (Elemental Earth)
Points away from any cave's exit. i.e., the furthest point that the cave extends underground.

Fish Hook (Elemental Water)
Calms waters it is cast into to allow better fishing.

Egg (Guardian)
Magically nourishes it's owner while in the owners possession.

Apple (Healing)
Guards its owner against all natural diseases.

Silver Ring (Law)
Prevents panic in the user, fosters calm thought and deliberation.

Dead spider (Necromantic)
Sends bad dreams to its owner's closest enemy.

Pocketwatch (Number)
Very rudimentary device that always indicates the time of day using pieces of metal.

Oak leaf (Plant)
The owner can touch a plant and, after a round, get a sense of the plant's mood. i.e. If it's been disturbed recently, it could be agitated.

Gold Ring (Protection)
Deflects one missile weapon a day. It is always the first missile weapon thrown at the wearer in a 24 hour period.

Whistle (Summoning)
When blown, will call one animal of a type that was named if animal is within 1 mi of blower.

Set of lock picks (Sun)
Partially conceals the user in shadows while these are in use.

Human skull (Thoughts)
Eye sockets glow different colors to show different emotional states of the one touching it.

Scroll (Travelers)
When a landmark the user has visited is mentioned aloud, and the this scroll is opened, the fastest route to that landmark is indicated with very basic pictography and directions.

Comb (Time)
When used on a creature's hair, the creature is sent two(2) rounds into the future. Requires hair to work.

Bell (War)
When wrung, it draws the attention of everyone you can see.

Lock (Wards)
When used on a door, door becomes invisible unless a save vs. spell check is passed.

Charred stick (Weather)
Natural lightning will not strike anywhere around this piece of wand shaped wood.

If you're interested, the combinations and effects I've worked out so far:

Spoiler

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Belt Purse (All) + Any (except the Copper Coin)
Objects placed inside the belt purse, no matter how many, do not interact with each other and seem to go dormant. The exception seems to be the Copper Coin (Elemental Fire), which, when placed inside the Belt Purse and noon is reached, creates a Fireball (as spell) around the Belt Purse instead of being duplicated.

Mouse (Animal)
+ Dove (Elemental Air)
Any animal seeing both of these objects will be calmed and friendly towards the user, but not prevented from actions. Effect fades as soon as either animal moves out of the field of vision of the animal, though the mouse then functions normally.

Scroll (Travelers)
+ Compass (Elemental Earth)
When used together, the Compass will point to the landmark.
+Compass (Elemental Earth) + Closed Black Book (Divination)
Compass will point to your hearts desire.
+ Pocketwatch (Numbers)
Will show how long the trip will take, roughly.
+ Pocketwatch (Numbers) + Compass (Elemental Earth)
Pocket watch gives exact time the fastest route, indicated by the compass, will take.

Set of Lock Picks (Sun)
+ Lock (Ward)
Used together, the user becomes fully invisible for a number of rounds equal to his/her intelligence score, after which the Lock Picks pick the lock and the effect fades.

Bell (War)
+ Dead Spider (Necromantic)
Creates a feeling of dread in all creatures you can see.
+ Silver Ring (Law)
Creates a feeling of calm in all creatures you can see.
+ Silver Ring (Law) + Dead Spider (Necromantic)
Able to exclude friendly targets from either effect.

Apple (Healing)
+ Human Skull (Thoughts)
Used together, the user can heal the thoughts of one person close by. Target must be willing.
+ Potion Bottle (Creation)
When placed together, a bit of water is placed in the bottle, after a day has passed the bottle will be filed with a potion able to heal 1d4 damage.

Gold Ring (Protection)
+ Copper Coin (Elemental Fire)
Sets the deflect missile on fire.
+ Silver Ring (Law)
Calms the attacker, so they are less likely to attack you next round

Pair of Dice (Chaos)
+ Apple (Healing)
Whatever happens, it will be beneficial to the user
+ Dead Spider (Necromantic)
Whatever happens, it will be hurtful to the user

[Abd al-Azrad]

Wedding ring of fidelity FTW!!! (Or, frankly, for the lose...)

A stone that lights up whenever some ability in the vicinity forces a die reroll. Counter-cheat! How many gamblers would like to know when their opponent is a Fatespinner?

Charm of returning: single use, speak the command word and the item charmed is dim-doored into your hand ("where the *bleeping BLEEP* are my keys?")

Night-light of Calm Emotions (for the youngling who just can't sleep through the night, for fear of monsters under the bed). Projects an aura. Powerful ability, low DC.

[Djinn_in_Tonic]

One of my favorites:

The Ever-Washing Basin: Once a command word is spoken, it fills with soapy water and will clean anything placed inside it.


Interestingly, my party picked this up on our first adventure in Eberron, at level 1. Ten levels later, my Orc Barbarian remembered it existed in time to negate the BBEG's improved invisibility spell with a well-placed basin of water to the head. We tracked the suds through the air, and beat him up.

The DM was both immensely pleased, and immensely annoyed.

[Venerable]

Self-cleaning Chamberpot: If left covered for five minutes, any human waste in the pot will disappear.

Weather Ring: Appears to be a plain brass ring. When worn, a word will appear on the ring that predicts the next day's weather at the ring's location ("fair", "showers", "snow", etc).

[Lycanthromancer]

small purse that will produce 10 copper pieces a day, 3 times a week.

I wouldn't mind this, assuming I was a wizard; I'd be tossing it in my flowing-time plane with a construct what's only purpose is to pull out the money.

What about...

-A flexible wooden rod that stands perfectly vertically whenever its command word is spoken.

-A thick dowel rod made of smooth wood that vibrates when warm.

-A small container with the name 'Kyj' on it that produces one dollop of slick Universal Solvent twice per day, but the solvent denatures and becomes useless after one hour.

-A piece of paper that is resistant to tearing and stains, and erases any writing on it when crumpled (and smooths itself out when uncrumpled).

-An eternal wand of several of the more...utilitarian spells from the BoED.

-A music box with a permanent image of a small dancing ballerina.

-A handheld device that drives nails into wooden surfaces that it's placed against. The nails must be provided manually, and a trigger squeezed.

-A round disc that unscrews lids of foodstuffs (and only foodstuffs) that have become stuck.

-A pot that slowly heats up to 1 gallon of water or other liquid (up to boiling, depending on the settings) over the course of 10 minutes; the liquid never boils over or burns, though it may eventually go rancid or evaporate if left long enough.

-A small box of pills that purify up to 8 ounces of liquid of all nonmagical poisons and diseases with save DCs of 15 or less. It contains 5 pills, though it's obvious that there were once more. If ground into powder, it can be sprinkled over a surface to purify any toxins or diseases over 1 square foot.

-A collar (wearable by Small, Medium, or Large undead) that casts inflict minor wounds once per hour, but only if the wearer is undead and either it or its creator (if mindless) gives the command word (once belonged to a benevolent necromancer who used it to keep the animal skeletons he used to plow his neighbors' fields in good working order).

-A handheld device that launches small mundane balls of multicolored dye that splatter on whatever they hit; requires a ranged touch attack as an attack action, range increment 10', deals no damage (not even on a critical hit), and the dye glows in the dark. Used in the children's game, Peg The Village Idiot (less cruel than it sounds; think Ranged Freeze Tag).

-A small device that is used in body piercing; it takes standard finger rings and makes a small modification to them, such that they can be worn on body parts other than the fingers. It can then be used to pierce the desired body part in question. Magic rings still take up the appropriate ring slot, however.

-A needle that, when placed in the aforementioned piercing device, can inscribe tattoos on the body when the device's reservoir is filled with ink. Magical inks (distilled from magical potions or specially made for the purpose) can be activated as a move action to activate whatever effect is stored in the tattoo, which makes the tattoo disappear. Only 3 magical tattoos can be stored on any given character at a time, although there is no limit to mundane tattoos on a character, other than available 'canvas space'. Yes, this one is useful, but only if the players figure out its more pragmatic uses.

-An eternal wand of detect alignment. As detect evil, but discerns if there's any creature with any of the nine alignments within range (but does not pinpoint their location). Mindless nonliving creatures without an alignment subtype (such as golems) are unaffected.

-A golden wedding ring of teleportation. It translocates itself to another finger (or even another hand, or a pocket) as a free action, requiring only a thought.

-A wand of tongues. No, seriously, it's made of tongues. It allows you to taste something as a melee touch attack.

[Mushroom Ninja]

-A thick dowel rod made of smooth wood that vibrates when warm.

Am I reading too much into this?

[Lycanthromancer]

Am I reading too much into this?

Depends.

What are you reading?

It's useful for massages.

[WarKitty]

Am I reading too much into this?

That is DEFINITELY going in. Along with the wand of tongues.

[OracleofWuffing]

Depends.

What are you reading?

It's useful for massages.

... Okay, to be honest, that just made me read more into it.

[Mushroom Ninja]

Depends.

What are you reading?

It's useful for massages.

Massages... right... That's what I was thinking!

Moving on...

- A pair of shoes which cast grease on their souls when the command word is spoken. Endless fun at parties.