3.5 Challange: Kill a Neutronium Golem

[VestigeArcanist]

Given adequate preparation and 20 ECL to play with, destroy this {Scrubbed}[/color] Neutronium Golem. This was found via innocent wanderings through the tubes of the internet. this thing is impossibly huge and powerful, and has a CR of 9721. I want to see if it can be done in twenty.

Build:
Race
Class/Class/PrC
Feats
Skills (if necessary)

Min/maxing notes:

Prefight preparation: Include amount of time need beforehand

Tactics in combat:

How to kill the Neutronium Golem:

How to survive Neutronium Golem's attack: (if you lose initiative or it takes more than one round to kill the Big Bad NG)

How to survive death throes:

How to save everybody else in the solar system (if possible): Hey, it may not be possible. The annihilation of all life on the planet maybe an acceptable casualty.

It will be easy to say "my level 20 wizard plane shifts to a plane of my own creation where I blah blah blah." Being ingenious and audacious is more then acceptable, and figuring a killer build or combo is the hope for this thought exercise. The greatest theorists will be acknowledged and celebrated.

[Optimystik]

It has stats, it can be killed.

I would flag any links to 1d4chan as being NSFW.

[Private-Prinny]

Pun-Pun.

To answer your other questions: By being Pun-Pun. That should answer all of them.

[Prodan]

The Melee Solution:

Say it with me now.

Iron! Heart! Surge!


The Caster Solution:

Need to get immunity to dying somehow.

Edit: Got it, shall use Timeless Body.

Edit: Or Delay Death + Beastland Ferocity... but I like my way better. Cause I thought of it.

[EvilJoe15]

Let's see... An Incantatrix inside a Persisted Time Stop with a contingent Celerity to Teleport/Plane Shift away when it dies.

[SurlySeraph]

Non-Magical Ranged Solution

Hulking Hurler.

[Flob]

Put every caster in the universe into a portable hole (after shrinking them down of course), get them in range of the demonic-robot, and have them all cast magic missile at it at once whilest you open the portable hole. That thing didn't have spell resistance, right?

[Prodan]

Put every caster in the universe into a portable hole (after shrinking them down of course), get them in range of the demonic-robot, and have them all cast magic missile at it at once whilest you open the portable hole. That thing didn't have spell resistance, right?

No, it had Spell Immunity.

[The Glyphstone]

Edit: Got it. The Psionic Power Timeless Body. Just need to slap it on a Sorcerer somehow and we're all set.

Spell To Power Erudite?

[Shadowleaf]

Look at its stat line:
S:502, D:9, Cn:-, I:-, W:11, Ch:1

If that's not a weak spot, I don't know what is.

[Prodan]

Spell To Power Erudite?

Or if I invest enough in UPD... it's cross class, but if Giacomo's Joke monk can do it for UMD, I should be able to pull it off as well - and hell, Charisma's the sorcerer's main stat!

Limited Wish -> Psychic Reformation, here we come!

[The Glyphstone]

How does it have Int -, but be capable of the independent action described in the text?

Oh, right, because the Immortals Handbook isn't actually a sourcebook, just the results of monkeys banging ontypewriters calculators for an indeterminate but non-infinite time.

[Eldariel]

So wait: All you need to do is to be immune to damage and death effects and it can't affect you? That's pretty damn pathetic. And all you need to do is to deal ~2.5 million damage to kill it? Who the hell even cares? As for Death Throes? Just fight it in an area walled off with Force Walls. Nothing it does penetrates Walls of Force so it'll just implode when it dies.

The thing is only big numbers. It's trivial.

[Prodan]

Alright, so...

Spoiler

Show

Here's my submission:


Build:
Race: Human
Class/Class/PrC: Sorcerer 20; prestige classes not required.
Feats: Violate Spell, Sanctum Spell, Arcane Preparation; Possibly Craft: Contingency.
Skills (if necessary): Cross class ranks in Use Psionc Device

Min/maxing notes: Requires an infinite damage loop and vile damage. If the Contingency spell does not apply to you after UPDing Timeless Body, use the Craft: Contingency feat.

Prefight preparation: A few rounds, aside from the time needed to locate the Golem.

Tactics in combat:

Plan of action:

Round 1: Cast Time Stop.

Round 2: Cast Astral Projection.

Round 3: Go Ethereal. Cast Greater Teleport. You are now where you want to be, but on the Ethereal Plane, which overlaps with the Material Plane. Get next to the sucker victim target.

Round 4: UPD a power stone of Timeless Body, with assistance from Moment of Prescience. You pop into existence since you can no longer benefit from Etheralness and get the drop on the golem. Pun intended.

Round 5: Surprise round. Cast Force Cage around the two of you. Have a Contingency set to go off for this situation, triggering Arcane Fusion. Initiate an infinite damage loop with a prepared Sanctum Arcane Fusion and a prepared, Vile Acid Splash, a level 0 spell in a level 1 slot. You get to launch a no save, no SR attack at the golem, and trigger the Arcane Fusion again. Repeat recursively until the thing is dead, since acid damage bypasses DR, harness, and Vile damage can only be healed by magic cast within the area of a consecrate or hallow spell. (BoVD p. 34)

Round 6: ???

Round 7: Profit

How to kill the Neutronium Golem: Sanctum Spell Arcane Fusion Lesser Orb of Acid Infinite Damage Loop.

How to survive Neutronium Golem's attack: (if you lose initiative or it takes more than one round to kill the Big Bad NG): Timeless Body, assuming it gets to attack.

How to survive death throes: Timeless Body. Astral Projection if that fails.

How to save everybody else in the solar system (if possible): Force Cage. It can't be destroyed via damage. Nothing gets in, nothing gets out.

Lycanthropmancer brings up a good point: does the Force Cage get disintegrated when the death throes happen. Well, since the Disintegrate spell is consumed in the process of destroying a Force Cage, I would assume that the dying explosion is as well. Alternatively, it could destroy the Force Cage and escape like some sort of crazy fireball. If it works like that, I'd have to use a different setup to keep it contained.

We could use Lycanthropomancer's idea of taking levels in Archmage for Mastery of Shaping, pick up the Sudden Widen Spell metamagic feat, and cast a Widened, Shaped Prismatic Sphere around the two. When the golem dies, the Prismatic Sphere survives the explosion and keeps everything contained.

Stick a fork in him, he's done.

[Tinydwarfman]

Bah!
1. Get Immunity to damage (I like the Delay Death combo)
2. Get both of you into a safe space (oh look at all those force spells)
3. Infinite/alot of damage! (many many MANY ways to do this)
4. ???
5. Realize how you just got trolled by /tg/ users.

[Eldariel]

Huh. Did anyone actually ever proofread this thing? Its Immunity to Magic is utterly lame! "A neutronium golem is immune to any spell or spell-like ability that allows spell resistance." Hello, Supernatural Spell? Tho Construct Immunities help it somewhat. Still...

And yeah, all you need to do is to e.g. become immune to damage (Shapechange+anything, Trollform+Favor of the Martyr, Delay Death+Beastland Ferocity, take your pick) and either take 20 on the saves (e.g. Surge of Fortune), become immune to it or just pump your saves high enough (given we can easily achieve arbitrary stats, this is not a very interesting challenge and as such, left to the reader).

It would be a legal target for PAO so just to make it fail that save; it shouldn't really be all that difficult given it's not immune to natural 1s. Firing 20 PAOs in one turn would give you a decent chance. Alternatively, bypass the save somehow. It'd make a nice 250 HD Toad. Then you can Whack-The-Toad.

[Boci]

No, it had Spell Immunity.

With I believe mechanically is just infinite spell resistence, so it could argued that if you can auto overcome SR, you can overcome spell immunity. Or something like that. I forget the exact argument.

Huh. Did anyone actually ever proofread this thing? Its Immunity to Magic is utterly lame! "A neutronium golem is immune to any spell or spell-like ability that allows spell resistance." Hello, Supernatural Spell? Tho Construct Immunities help it somewhat. Still...

And yeah, all you need to do is to e.g. become immune to damage (Shapechange+anything, Trollform+Favor of the Martyr, Delay Death+Beastland Ferocity, take your pick) and either take 20 on the saves (e.g. Surge of Fortune), become immune to it or just pump your saves high enough (given we can easily achieve arbitrary stats, this is not a very interesting challenge and as such, left to the reader).

It would be a legal target for PAO so just to make it fail that save; it shouldn't really be all that difficult given it's not immune to natural 1s. Firing 20 PAOs in one turn would give you a decent chance. Alternatively, bypass the save somehow. It'd make a nice 250 HD Toad. Then you can Whack-The-Toad.

Still not as bad as the turtle from discworld with a triple/quadtrouple digit CR, 2 inteligence, no SR or immunity to state drain.

[nedz]

According to the article taking out a planet is easier.

(an Earth-sized planet would have roughly 122,880 hp)

If its just an elemental can you not simply take control of it ?
Ed: Its a Golem sorry, but still ?

[Starscream]

Step 1) Time Stop
Step 2) Drop Bag of Holding on floor within ten feet of golem
Step 3) Drop Portable Hole into Bag of Holding
Step 4) Run

[JeminiZero]

Put every caster in the universe into a portable hole (after shrinking them down of course), get them in range of the demonic-robot, and have them all cast magic missile at it at once whilest you open the portable hole. That thing didn't have spell resistance, right?

For something a little more elegant, try Spellblade Tennis instead.

[Ingus]

I don't see the difficulty.
Be a Cleric 20, try to max UMD (domain, feats, being an initiate of Gond...)
Try a way to be ever alerted by danger, some cleric spell will be good. Then forcecage the golem with a scroll. Then you have 2 hours/level to find any creature capable to make forcecage permanent.
You can even use a wish or a miracle by you own.

Alternate solution: take a portable hole and a handy haversack/bag of holding with a telekinetic/Bigby's hand. You know all too well how to use them all.

Alternate, alternate solution: be a Wiz 20 instead.
Do the same till forcecage. Then devote your days to forcecage it again and again. Maybe take turns with the "order of sacred hi-pow mages that forcecage repeatedly a stupid freaking golem till a Time Lord will show (not our business, since it is not part of the contest)".
How do not risk? Just prepare an action and memorize Celerity for good measure.

[gallagher]

all you need is to be of the level to have a contingency spell and have plane shift as well as rope trick.

have a contingent rope trick set for after you cast plane shift.
get close to the golem and cast rope trick.
once safely inside, cast plane shift to the plane of infinite beaches with sexy people of the appropriate race and gender that the character prefers, with open bars everywhere.
BOOM

[woodenbandman]

Sudden Quicken Awaken construct + Rushed full round action diplomacy check (guidance of the avatar) = the neutronium golem is your fanatic follower.

Classes:Required: Dweomerkeeper4 , 9th level cleric spells.
Optional: Marshal 1 (charisma in your charisma), Binder 1(for niberius),

Stats: Feat: Sudden Quicken (or rod of quicken, greater), enough bonuses to diplomacy to achieve ~ 150

I think that's GG.

EDIT: Aw dammit, Awaken construct allows spell resistance. In that case, you have to include 4 levels of Dweomerkeeper

[HunterOfJello]

All that has to be done is reduce his Charisma by 1. There must be some easy solutions to doing this.

[Lycanthromancer]

Pull off the omniscificer trick, getting infinite ranks in Diplomacy. Cast Quickened wish (via metamagic rod) pulling in a time lord, then spend your round Diplomancing it. Make it forever fanatical to you. Then send it out to spank the neutronium golem into behaving.

[edit] Or just cast gate and do the same thing.

[edit 2] Aww. Someone Diplomancied before I did.

[woodenbandman]

guys, did you not see that I have won?

EDIT: Proper formatting:

Build: Anything that achieves Dweomerkeeper 4 and 9th level spells
Race: Any
Class/Class/PrC
Feats: None Required
Skills (if necessary): Diplomacy + 150

Min/maxing notes: You need a lot of work to fit in +150 diplomacy. Give me a minute to dredge up the builds.

Prefight preparation: Have guidance of the avatar and any other buffs needed for your godly diplomacy check active.

Tactics in combat: Quickened Awaken Construct followed by a full-round action diplomacy check, DC 150, to make the construct my best friend.

How to kill the Neutronium Golem: Who said kill? I guess you could order your fanatic golem to kill himself, in which case you should plane shift away before he does to avoid dying horribly to death throes.

How to survive Neutronium Golem's attack: Celerity, from the Time Domain.

How to survive death throes: He doesn't die, but i can survive in his presence indefinitely and plane shift at any time.

How to save everybody else in the solar system (if possible): Well, assuming that the golem is a unique being, we're mostly ok, otherwise, what's there to stop a billion more from showing up? Can't friend list 'em all.

EDIT: This is more difficult than I had thought, gotta survive about 32000 divine fire damage per round. Well, I REALLY need to just win initiative and then have a contingency to plane shift away. EDIT: Thanks, above poster, becoming immune to damage via Trollform/Favor of the Martyr works too.

[Private-Prinny]

guys, did you not see that I have won?

Actually, I did. This should have ended 24 posts ago.

[IdleMuse]

Spell-to-power Maximised Shivering Touch seems fun?

[Lycanthromancer]

Wizard 18/arch mage 2. Use your high arcana to turn plane shift into a Spell-Like Ability 2/day, and take Reach Spell. Take the Supernatural Transformation feat to turn a Transdimensional plane shift from a Spell-Like to a Supernatural (no SR). Then go ethereal, Quickened (via rod) greater teleport to its current location and cast a reach plane shift to the positive energy plane and hope it fails its save. If it doesn't, Quicken greater teleport to it again, and do the same thing. Try again the next day, and the next, and so on. When it finally rolls a natural 1, just wait until it fills up too high with temporary hp and explodes.

[edit] Though it may be immune to exploding. At least it's out of your hair.

[Keld Denar]

All that has to be done is reduce his Charisma by 1. There must be some easy solutions to doing this.

Unlike the Tarrasque, the construct type actually gives immunity to both Ability Damage and Ability Drain, so thats a nogo.

About the only thing I can think of would be the Savvy Rogue feat, which allows you to Crippling Strike things that are normally immune to Crippling Strike, and cross-gender that to allow Maiming Strike the same feature.

Then you just have to hit the thing. A touch attack would be easiest, but it still has an 88 Touch AC. Could you Wish for an autohit?

If you were able to port Maiming Strike across with Savvy Rogue and Wish to hit it, you could reduce its Cha to 0, rendering it "unconscious". There are no rules for what happens when a Construct is "unconsious", though, so nothing may happen. On the other side, there are no rules for constructs to heal ability damage, so that would, in theory, knock it out forever. Since its not dead, you wouldn't be affected by its Death Throes.

You'd have a hard time getting to it, but if you could, in theory you could disable it with a questionable rules stretch.