Barmaid Tank

[Varis]

So, playing a bard that's not very scary at melee, I figured a cohort would be a great way to contribute to the parties tanking ability.

We currently have a bard, wizard/rogue, druid and ranger party composition and our level 7-8 party got pushed very hard against 6 wyverns.

So, I'm hoping that a level 7 cohort fighter will help (when I hit 9th)... sadly we have sadistic DM that is going to make the local overweight barmaid my cohort.

I slept with her on accident and now she follows me around, trying to hook up with me...

No doubt he will trick her out with feats like "obesity" and "large and in charge"


I won't give up though!

Help me salvage the cohort from level 7 onward.

stats to distribute are:
15, 7, 10, 14 , 14, 13 any which way

She will be a pure fighter.



So assuming her first 7 levels will be spent on ... "non optimal" feats, any suggestions where to go from there for a solid tank?

[Prime32]

Take the Battle Jump feat and something which boosts Jump checks. Have her use the Obese flaw to take the Willing Deformity (obese) feat. Put her in heavy armour.

Kill everything through falling damage.

[Serpentine]

...by accident?

[gallagher]

...by accident?

shes a barmaid, it wont be too hard to get someone in a state to make poor decisions that they would later regret.

[Varis]

...by accident?

err, well... we just fended off a goblin attack on farmers and decided to celebrate. There was alcohol, good times and a decent performance check.
So I kinda offhandedly tell the DM I will grab the hottest chick in the bar and retire with her for the night...

The DM then informed me that the ONLY chick in that bar was a fat barmaid... and that she appreciated the 18 charisma... over and over...

[Telonius]

Well, the "obesity" part can be solved as soon as your Wizard is able to cast Polymorph Any Object.

This character is just screaming for the "Drunken Master" PrC, but since it's a pure fighter that's out. Exemplar with skill artistry in "Profession: Barmaid" would fit the fluff - and you could also use that to explain how "the event" occurred - but it would significantly decrease your BAB. So, if you're looking for pure fighter-ing?

Str 15 (+1 at level 4)
Dex 14
Con 14
Int 13
Wis 10
Cha 7

I'd suggest this for your feat priority, if the DM hasn't already given them to you:
8 Power Attack
8 +1 Str
9 Improved Bull Rush
10 Shock Trooper
12 Leap Attack
12 Combat Expertise
12 +1 Str
14 Improved Trip

[nedz]

Well, if she were to be accidently killed in like a fight or something you could have your Druid friend re-incarnate her as something else. It probably wouldn't be worse.

[Ormagoden]

...by accident?

I read that about 4 times too...

[Morph Bark]

Hey, don't worry. Obese women make good moms. In the best/worst case scenario she's pregnant and will leave at some point. Just hope she doesn't drag you along for that ride, unless it is the end of the campaign. Otherwise, that would be the end of the campaign. For you.

No offense to anyone who is obese, pregnant, a woman, a good mom, or related to any of these.

[Varis]

Well, the "obesity" part can be solved as soon as your Wizard is able to cast Polymorph Any Object.

This character is just screaming for the "Drunken Master" PrC, but since it's a pure fighter that's out. Exemplar with skill artistry in "Profession: Barmaid" would fit the fluff - and you could also use that to explain how "the event" occurred - but it would significantly decrease your BAB. So, if you're looking for pure fighter-ing?

Str 15 (+1 at level 4)
Dex 14
Con 14
Int 13
Wis 10
Cha 7

I'd suggest this for your feat priority, if the DM hasn't already given them to you:
8 Power Attack
8 +1 Str
9 Improved Bull Rush
10 Shock Trooper
12 Leap Attack
12 Combat Expertise
12 +1 Str
14 Improved Trip

Both Suggestions take the "flying whale" approach, which does add mobility and at least a decently effective cohort.

I'm looking to get her k... er.. to get her taking aggro off squishy party members. So she needs to absorb damage (combat focus feats for fast healing?) and take aggro via feats like Goad

[Analytica]

Shouldn't this character have the Jotunbrud feat?

Also, consider Troll-blooded. Regeneration 1.

[gbprime]

A little extra weight doesn't make someone bad at their job. or unattractive. And if she's a 7th level fighter, she's actually pretty capable, if not optimized. It's not hard to imagine a large nordic woman or even someone like this...

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[Telonius]

A little extra weight doesn't make someone bad at their job. or unattractive. And if she's a 7th level fighter, she's actually pretty capable, if not optimized. It's not hard to imagine a large nordic woman or even someone like this...

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Given that stat block, I don't see how she couldn't be low-charisma. This is a fighter, and the 7's got to go somewhere. Physical stats have to be high, or she won't be able to do her job as a Fighter. Either she's low charisma, low intelligence, or low wisdom. If low Int, that means nothing based on Combat Expertise (like Improved Trip). If low Wis, she might as well paint a "Target my Will save" sign on her armor. Low charisma does the least damage.

[Morph Bark]

Low charisma has little to do with actual appearance though. It's simply force of personality, and she sure seems to have a forceful personality.

[PinkysBrain]

sadly we have sadistic DM that is going to make the local overweight barmaid my cohort.

Have your revenge and tell him she needs a good backstory to explain why a 7th level adventurer ended up as a waitress :)

No doubt he will trick her out with feats like "obesity" and "large and in charge"

A couple probably, but she survived to 7th level ... and you can only do that in D&D by overcoming challenges, she can't have been completely useless.

That said, she will probably have weapon specialization ... which is almost as bad.

So assuming her first 7 levels will be spent on ... "non optimal" feats, any suggestions where to go from there for a solid tank?

There are no tanks in D&D.

Any way, if this is core only ... spiked chain tripper, as always :)

[Aotrs Commander]

Low charisma has little to do with actual appearance though. It's simply force of personality, and she sure seems to have a forceful personality.

Perhaps then, you could envision her as merely being crude and gruff (hense low charisma), if the DM isn't going to make you have a passable charisma stat. She could be very forceful - perhaps too forceful - but with chronic foot-in-mouth syndrome. And, as you say, weight aside, her appearance is an unrelated factor, though it is often treated as a correlating one.

[Threeshades]

Yeah so what if she's low charisma, ive seen lots of player and non-player characters who had a charisma that would put a half-orc dwarf to shame but still were described to be very attractive. The problem about them was that they were vengeful, reclusive, anxious and unsociable. It had nothing to do with their looks however.

[gbprime]

If low Wis, she might as well paint a "Target my Will save" sign on her armor.

Isn't that what the OP wants? Besides, an NPC can have a glaring weakness like a -2 to will saves.

I otherwise agree with the stat block. People are commenting on the "obesity problem", but does someone with 15 str, 14 dex, and 14 con actually have a "problem" ? I think not.

You could work her feat selection into style or tactical feats like Combat Brute or three mountains, both of which use heavy weapons which fits with the concept of a massive build, and they don't use a shield, which fits the idea of a lower AC on a person you're not thrilled to have around.

[Scarey Nerd]

Low charisma has little to do with actual appearance though. It's simply force of personality, and she sure seems to have a forceful personality.

As we all know, appearance is handled by Appearance from BoEF...

[Aotrs Commander]

I otherwise agree with the stat block. People are commenting on the "obesity problem", but does someone with 15 str, 14 dex, and 14 con actually have a "problem" ? I think not.

I think some factors also impinge on the what DM constitues as "fat" as Hollywood, for one, has a rather different definition to the rest of us...



Also, a point that's just occurred to me; if she's going on adventures, doesn't that mean she'll be losing weight fairly sharpish if she's actually really obese anyway? 'Cos there's no way that stomping round in full plate and swinging a sword isn't good exercise!

[Morph Bark]

Perhaps then, you could envision her as merely being crude and gruff (hense low charisma), if the DM isn't going to make you have a passable charisma stat. She could be very forceful - perhaps too forceful - but with chronic foot-in-mouth syndrome. And, as you say, weight aside, her appearance is an unrelated factor, though it is often treated as a correlating one.

Exactly what I was hinting at, indeed.

[Yora]

Or she could be overweight and good looking.

I have to check out that Dungeons and Dammes thread again, I think there was something like that...

[Aotrs Commander]

Or she could be overweight and good looking.

I have to check out that Dungeons and Dammes thread again, I think there was something like that...

That's kinda what we were implying, and rationalising what will mechanically have to be a poor Charisma stat with what is proeportedly known of her personality.

And, like I say, she's going to be an adventurer, so she should't STAY fat.

So, you might theoretically end up with a solidly muscled, attractive, (loyal?) fighter-cohort, who just happens to have no sense of social nicities...

...

Oh, Varis: if your DM says she's "magically fat" or some other such nonsense when you bring the exercise thing up, I officially give you permission to hit them upside the head with the Player's Handbook.

[super dark33]

you should reroll the stats.

make them like this:

18 16 14 14 12 10

[Varis]

Isn't that what the OP wants? Besides, an NPC can have a glaring weakness like a -2 to will saves.

I otherwise agree with the stat block. People are commenting on the "obesity problem", but does someone with 15 str, 14 dex, and 14 con actually have a "problem" ? I think not.

You could work her feat selection into style or tactical feats like Combat Brute or three mountains, both of which use heavy weapons which fits with the concept of a massive build, and they don't use a shield, which fits the idea of a lower AC on a person you're not thrilled to have around.

hmm I may like the 7 wis idea, and perhaps just take steadfast determination.
Although that's 2 feats... =/

With the spell improvisation I could probably get my UMD high enough to use Polymorph any Object. While that points to a very shallow personality on my part, I can point out the health benefits it brings to convince her =)

[Telonius]

who just happens to have no sense of social nicities...

The fact that she's apparently following him around basically begging him for more Treasure Type O seems to argue for that. Though that could also be indicative of a low Sense Motive check (which Wisdom would modify).

[Tshern]

...by accident?

That could happen to anyone. Say, the hero might be trying to teleport somewhere, but a Divert teleportation effect transports him directly above the skylight of the sleeping, naked barmaid. Or he could do some some just as likely; the world is a strange place after all.

Okay, maybe it sounded a little unlikely...

[Yora]

Found a picture, how about that? (SFW)

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I'd have nothing against her tagging along.

[jiriku]

A low Wisdom seems appropriate. Anyone who'd give up a stable, safe job to go risking her life with a bunch violent hobos after a one-night stand with a guy who was drunk at the time and now seems to want to avoid her does NOT have good judgment.

+1 for Endurance/Steadfast Determination. Can you make her class choices too, or are you stuck with straight fighter? Because if you can make her class choices, Crusader is an obvious (and highly useful) direction to go in after level 8, and would reward a solid Charisma score even more.

[Telonius]

If you're going to have something that requires Endurance anyway, maybe take a three-level dip in Ranger. You'd basically be trading two fighter feats and 3 hitpoints for Endurance, Track, (TWF or Rapid Shot), a favored enemy, Wild Empathy, better reflex save, better skill points, and a spell list (useful with regard to Wands).