You gonna eat that?

[Admiral Squish]

Okay, so, I'm working on a homebrew based on cooking and eating the bodies of the fallen enemies. So, I have some questions relating to that, and I was hoping the playground would be able to help.

How do you butcher the more exotic animals? Snakes, felines, canines, rodents, apes, vermin... I mean, I've been looking at butcher charts, but there's only so much adaptation that can be done.
How would you handle the issue of eating humanoids, monstrous humanoids, and giants?
What happens to the bodies of creatures with death throes? Are they completely consumed?
What happens to outsiders? I've heard they just sorta dissolve and flow back to their plane, so is there any way to eat them?

[Private-Prinny]

Is this going to be a Quina-style Blue Mage?

One solution is to just give them the Swallow Whole ability, but that has the issue of only working on things smaller than you.

[Admiral Squish]

Well, we're looking at magic here. Could always make it a magic mouth. Perhaps a scaling bite that just drains the life force/essence of an enemy you kill with it. I don't like that, though, since it feels like it somewhat pigeonholes you into a sort of 'feral' role. And it means the five or six pages of monster-meat recipes I've made are now useless. I'd like this to be able to accommodate all character themes, from the savage predatory lizardman to the refined gourmand in search of fine recipes.

[Aroka]

I wish for a blessed tinning kit.

[Admiral Squish]

You could get Angriz's chest, from RoD. 1000 GP, and preserves your meats indefinitely. I was considering producing a version with a bag of holding effect, as well.

[Leon]

How do you butcher the more exotic animals? Snakes, felines, canines, rodents, apes, vermin... I mean, I've been looking at butcher charts, but there's only so much adaptation that can be done.

Try some Survival guides, they often have information on preparing the more esoteric animal types

[Keld Denar]

Take a knife, carve out whatever meat you can find (beaver tails are EXCELLENT, most birds have breast meat, most quadrapeds have flanks/shoulders), throw it in a frying pan with a bit of butter and some garlic salt, brown both sides VERY lightly, serve with a nice Chianti and some farva beans.

[Admiral Squish]

Well, the recipes need names, and I can't just say 'chopped up meaty bits'. Beholder Kebabs, Ghostly Roast, Sizzling Dragon Wings, Digester Haggis... Stuff like that.

[Leon]

Otyugh Steak

[Admiral Squish]

Okay, this is the list I've got so far of ideas. SOmebody who cooks, please tell me if any of these are impossible.

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Abberations:

Aboleth:
Aboleth Fin with Mucous Sauce (Swim speed/water breathing)
Aboleth Brain (Enslave)

Athach:
Arm Roast (Extra arm)

Beholder:
Eye Kebab (2 Random eye abilities)
Flesh Roast (Levitate ability)

Choker:
Hand Stew (Imp. Grapple, Constrict)
Choker Breast (Haste)

Chuul:
Chuul Thermidor (Swim Speed, water breathing)
Claws in Paralytic Sauce (Paralyze in grapple)

Cloaker:
Membrane Wrap (Glide Speed, Concealment)
Cloaker Bacon (Moan)

Delver:
Delver Steak in Sour Sauce (Acid damage, Burrow speed)

Destrachan:
Stuffed Destrechan Head (Scream Attack)

Gibbering Mouther:
Mouther Mash (Multiple Bites, Spittle)
Mouther Puffs (Amorphous, Swallow Whole/Blood Drain

Grick:
Grick Chops (Climb Speed?)

Mimic:
Mimic Loaf (Shapeshift, Constrict)
Sticky Sauce: (Adhesive)

Illithid:
Roasted Tentacles (Extract, Imp Grapple)
Illithid Brain (Mind Blast, temp int?)

Otyugh:
Grilled Tentacle (Constrict/Imp. Grab)

Phasm:
Phasm Sandwich (Alter Self at-will for the duration?)
Phasm Puffs (Amorphous, Resilience)

Rust Monster:
Feeler Soup (Rusting grasp at will, Scent metal)


Animals:

Ape/Baboon:
Silverback Bacon (Climb Speed)
Ape Shoulder Roast (Str bonus)

Badger:
Badger Roast (Rage-like abilitiy)
Claw Stew (Burrow Speed)

Bat:
Wing Sandwich (Glide speed?)
Sizzled Bat Ears (Blindsense)

Bear:
Bear claw (Imp. Grapple, Claw)
Bear Steak (Con Bonus)

Bison/Bull:
Sirloin (Str Bonus)
Shoulder Cut (trample/gore?)

Boar:
Pork chops (Rage-thing)
Boar’s Tongue (Gore)

Camel:
Grilled Hump (Endurance/Con bonus)

Cheetah:
Roasted Leg (Speed bonus/Sprint)
Claw Soup (Claws, Trip ability)

Crocodile:
Tail Fillet (Swim Speed, NA)
Crocodile Tongue (Bite Attack, Imp. Grapple)

Eagle/Hawk:
Spiced Wings (Glide/fly speed)
Drumstick (Bonus to spot)

Elephant:
Elephant Steak (Powerful Build)
Trunk Chops (Gore attack/powerful charge)

Leopard/Lion/Tiger:
Cat’s paw soup (Claw attacks/pounce)
Tendon Stew (Dex Bonus)

Octopus/squid:
Seppie Nere (Tentacles/Grapple bonus)
Takoyaki (Water Breathing)

Porpoise:
Grilled Bottlenose (Blindsight, hold breath)
Dolphin Fin soup (Swim Speed)

Rat:
Rat Skewer (Swim and climb equal to ½ speed)
Dire rat fillet (Bite + disease)

Rhino:
Powdered Horn (Gore, Powerful charge)
Rhino Flank (NA, bonus to bull rush)

Shark:
Sharkfin Soup (Swim, water breathing)
Shark Fillet (Bite, Scent)

Snake:
Viper Nuggets (Bite, Poison)
Costrictor Bacon (Grapple Bonus)

Whale:
Whale Bake (Hold Breath, Swim)

Wolf/Dog:
Wolf Tongue (Bite, Trip)

Wolverine:
Wolverine fingers (Rage)
Wolverine Marble (cold resistance/bonus vs. cold?)



Dragon:

Dragon, True:
Sizzling Wings (Fly speed)
Scale Stew (Resistance, NA)
Drake Eyes (Blindsight/sense, immune to sleep)
Dragon Tail Chops (Tail slap, tail bonuses)
Fundamentum Sauce (Breath Weapon)

Dragon Turtle:
Steamed Fundamentia (Breath Weapon)
Dragon Turtle Soup (Swim speed, Water Breathing
Dragonshell Bowl (NA, hide bonus underwater)

Pseudodragon:
Drake Nuggets (Blindsense, hide)
Stuffed Dragon Skull (Telepathy)
Tail griller (Sting/poison)

Wyvern:
Wyvern tail (Sting, poison)
Wing Sandwiches (Fly speed)
Wyvern Drumstick (Imp. Grab, talons)


Fey:

Dryad:
Smoked Dryad (Tree-Walk)
Dryad Salad (Speak with plants, charm)

Nymph
Nymphskin Wraps (Blinding Beauty)
Nymph Stew (Stunning Glance, Unearthly grace)
Nymph salad (Wild empathy, druid-abilities)

Satyr
Hoof & Horn Stew (Speed Bonus, Headbutt)
Satyr Breast (Pipes/music)

Sprites:
Grig Bites (DR /cold Iron, Bonus to jump)
Nixie Nuggets (Water Breathing/Swim Speed)
Pixie Snackers (Invisibility, Mischief Touch)


Magical Beasts:

Ankeg:
Ankeg Legs (Burrow Speed)
Mandible Stew (Spit Acid, Bite Attack)

Aranea:
Spindly Kebab (Bite/poison, webs)
Boiled aranea (sorcerer abilities)

Basalisk:
Basalisk Eye Stew (Petrification attack)

Behir:
Behir Tenderloin (Rakes, constrict)
Stuffed Behir Lungs (Breath Weapon)

Blink Dog:
Blink Dog Roast (Blink, Dim Door)

Bulette:
Bulette Flank (NA, Burrow Speed)
Powered Armor (Claws/bite, leap)

Chimera:
Stuffed Chimera Heads (See Chimera totem for ideas)
Cat’s paw soup (Claw attacks/pounce)
Tendon Stew (Dex Bonus)
Sizzling Wings (Fly speed)
Dragon Tail Chops (Tail slap, tail bonuses)
Fundamentum Sauce (Breath Weapon)
Hoof & Horn Stew (Speed Bonus, Headbutt)

Cockatrice:
Cockatrice Nuggets (Petrification touch)

Darkmantle:
Tentacle grillers (Imp. Grapple, Constrict)
Membrane Wrap (Darkness, Hide bonus)

Digester:
Digester Haggis (Acid Spray)

Dragonne:
Cat’s paw soup (Claw attacks/pounce)
Dragonne Loin (Roar)

Ethereal X:
Fried Filcher Fingers (Sleight of hand, detect magic)
Marauder Loin (Bite, speed bonus)
Ghostly Roast (Ethereal Jaunt)

Frost Worm:
Frost Worm Slushie (Cold immunity, cold damage)

Girallon:
Girallon Strips (Claws, extra arms)
Silverback Bacon (Climb Speed)
Ape Shoulder Roast (Str. Boost)

Gorgon:
Stuffed Gorgon Lungs (Breath Weapon)
Gorgon Flank (NA, Str?)
Shoulder Cut (trample/gore?)

Gray Render:
Gray Render Shoulder (Claws, Imp. Grapple)
Render Brisket (shield ally?)

Griffon:
Spiced Wings (Glide/fly speed)
Cat’s paw soup (Claw attacks/pounce)
Tendon Stew (Dex Bonus)

Hippogryph:
Spiced Wings (Glide/fly speed)
Drumstick (Talons)
Horse Breast (Con Bonus/Speed Boost)

Hydra:
Seared Hydra Steak (Regeneration)
Stuffed Hydra Lung (Breath Weapon)
Hydra Neck Strips (Multiple heads)

Kraken:
Seppie Nere (Tentacles/Grapple bonus)
Takoyaki (Water Breathing)
Kraken Eye (SLAs?)

Krenshar:
Cat’s paw soup (Claw attacks/pounce)
Tendon Stew (Dex Bonus)
Krenshar Head (Fear effect)\

Lamia:
Cat’s paw soup (Claw attacks/pounce)
Tendon Stew (Dex Bonus)
Lamia Fingers (SLAs, wisdom touch)

Lammasu:
Spiced Wings (Glide/fly speed)
Cat’s paw soup (Claw attacks/pounce)
Tendon Stew (Dex Bonus)
Lammasu brain (Cleric casting, circle against good)

Manticore:
Sizzling Wings (Fly Speed)
Manticore Tail Slices (Spines)

Owl, Giant:
Spiced Wings (Glide/fly speed)
Drumstick (Talons)
Owl Breast (Hide/move silently)

Owlbear:
Bear claw (Imp. Grapple, Claw)
Bear Steak (Con Bonus)

Pegasus:
Horse Breast (Con Bonus/Speed Boost)
Spiced Wings (Glide/fly speed)

Phase Spider:
Ghostly Roast (Ethereal Jaunt)
Mandible Griller (Poison, Bite)
Spindly Kebab (Climb Speed)

Purple Worm:
Purple Worm Strips (Grapple/str bonus)
Stinger Roast (Sting, poison)

Razor Boar:
Pork Rump (NA, Trample)
Razor Boar’s Tongue (Vorpal Gore)

Remorhaz:
Searing Bacon (Immunity to cold, Heat)
Coil Strips (Grapple/str bonus)
Remorhaz leg (Burrow Speed)

Roper:
Strand pasta in sweet sauce (Strands, drag)
Roper strand stew (Weakness touch attack)
Roper Chops (NA, hide bonus)

Sea Cat:
Sea Cat Fillet (Hold breath, swim speed)
Boiled Sea Cat Claw (Claws, rend)

Shocker Lizard:
Grilled Shocker (Shock)
Lizard Tail (Climb&Swim)

Sphynx:
Cat’s paw soup (Claw attacks/pounce)
Tendon Stew (Dex Bonus)
Spiced Wings (Glide/fly speed)
Androsphynx Tongue (Roar)
Criosphynx Horns (Gore)
Gynosphynx Brain (SLAs)

Spider Eater:
Sizzling Wings (Fly Speed)

I still have to finish magical beasts, oozes, plants, then get into determining the mechanic for people-eaters.

[2xMachina]

Well, the recipes need names, and I can't just say 'chopped up meaty bits'. Beholder Kebabs, Ghostly Roast, Sizzling Dragon Wings, Digester Haggis... Stuff like that.

... How do you even eat incorporeal things?

[Admiral Squish]

... How do you even eat incorporeal things?

Those are actually off ethereal filtchers and marauders.

[Gavinfoxx]

... How do you even eat incorporeal things?

With a Serrenwood spoon?

[Admiral Squish]

Hmmm, I wonder if there's actually a material like that.

[Mongoose87]

Take a knife, carve out whatever meat you can find (beaver tails are EXCELLENT, most birds have breast meat, most quadrapeds have flanks/shoulders), throw it in a frying pan with a bit of butter and some garlic salt, brown both sides VERY lightly, serve with a nice Chianti and some farva beans.

Beaver tails are not what you think they are.

[Dr Gunsforhands]

Displacer soup:

You have a 50% chance to eat it.

[Keld Denar]

Lies...I've actually eaten a real beaver's tail. Its pretty good. All lean, no fat, all delicious.

[Poil]

It could just be me, but you might be better off NOT attempting to eat demons and the like. I can't imagine that things composed of rotting flesh would be very healthy either. How long would you need to boil a zombie before it's safe to eat anyway?

[Admiral Squish]

That's why we don't have constructs or undead on the list just yet. Though, you could possibly eat undead or some constructs with the scavenging gullet feat.

[Coidzor]

Most things you'd kill like that you're probably better off making into stew meat anyway, if unfamiliar with how to cut the meat, though, if there's enough discernible anatomy, basically preserving the muscle by cutting it out in one go is pretty much the crux of it.

That's... by and large how a quest-line in Avernum 5 ran, take the parts of magical beastie X and make a stew out of 'em.

It could just be me, but you might be better off NOT attempting to eat demons and the like. I can't imagine that things composed of rotting flesh would be very healthy either. How long would you need to boil a zombie before it's safe to eat anyway?

Rotten things aren't so much unsafe due to the bacteria so much as the toxins that have been built up by the breakdown of cells and the action of said bacteria.

[Balain]

Beaver tails are not what you think they are.

my mom has her moms recipes that includes beaver tails from when she lived and worked in lumberjack camps. It was no pastry it was real tails.

[Greenish]

You should definitely be able to make Opposable Digit Stew from Girallons.

[Admiral Squish]

I'm honestly starting to get curious about the flavor of beaver tail...

Also, is there a D&D beaver?

[Ravens_cry]

I'm honestly starting to get curious about the flavor of beaver tail...

Also, is there a D&D beaver?

I know for a fact there is a GIANT Beaver. You can trade with them or sell their pelts.

[ShadowsGrnEyes]

How do you butcher the more exotic animals? Snakes, felines, canines, rodents, apes, vermin... I mean, I've been looking at butcher charts, but there's only so much adaptation that can be done.

How would you handle the issue of eating humanoids, monstrous humanoids, and giants?

What happens to the bodies of creatures with death throes? Are they completely consumed?

What happens to outsiders? I've heard they just sorta dissolve and flow back to their plane, so is there any way to eat them?

1. Snakes are butchered kinda like fish, but you also skin them. Gut it Skin it and Chop the body into Chucks of approrpiate sized for you or very long fillets. (barbequed rattelsnake isn't bad actually, little chewy)
Most quadrupeds have a similar muscle structure overall so they'll butcher in a similar fashion to more commonly butchered animals like cow or rabbit.
Very small game generally falls under the roast it hole or chop it into stew category.
As far as there very exotic. . . look at seafood. . . people already eat some pretty exotic anatomies.

2. Were you talking about the moral issue? morally it's only canibalism if your eating your own species(and depending on your race there might not be a problem). If you happen to be eating another sentient species then you need to asses your characters beliefs.
if your not talking about morally and we were still talking about butchering then the same way you eat anything else. in the grand scheme of things meat is meat.

3. no idea

4. outsiders dont leave remains. so you probably cant eat them. . .

[Moriato]

... How do you even eat incorporeal things?

Ghost-touch dentures? Regardless, I tend to avoid eating incorporeal things, they go right through me...

[Poil]

Rotten things aren't so much unsafe due to the bacteria so much as the toxins that have been built up by the breakdown of cells and the action of said bacteria.

Ah, so zombie meat would be more like a delicacy served at expensive inns then? Cure poison is extra.

[Admiral Squish]

1. Snakes are butchered kinda like fish, but you also skin them. Gut it Skin it and Chop the body into Chucks of approrpiate sized for you or very long fillets. (barbequed rattelsnake isn't bad actually, little chewy)

Very helpful! Lotsa serpentine body plans in D&D.

Most quadrupeds have a similar muscle structure overall so they'll butcher in a similar fashion to more commonly butchered animals like cow or rabbit.

what about a dodekaped, such as a behir? What about giant vermin with virtually no recognizable translations to 'normal' food animals? While a cow might have the same basic muscles as an ape, a cow doesn't have meat on their forearms. There's a lot of considerations that need to be made for the atypical bodies.

Very small game generally falls under the roast it hole or chop it into stew category.

Also quite helpful.

As far as there very exotic. . . look at seafood. . . people already eat some pretty exotic anatomies.

Oh, yeah, I'm not arguing we don't eat wierd stuff, just that 'wierd' is different from this 'wierd'.

2. Were you talking about the moral issue? morally it's only canibalism if your eating your own species(and depending on your race there might not be a problem). If you happen to be eating another sentient species then you need to asses your characters beliefs.

Well, I'd argue that it would still be considered cannibalism. Were an elf to eat a human, it would have much the same overtones as a human eating a human. What about a half-giant? Technically, it's still a giant, according to creature type, but it's definitely somewhat human as well.

if your not talking about morally and we were still talking about butchering then the same way you eat anything else. in the grand scheme of things meat is meat.

That too, though humans generally have different cuts, I would think. A cow's meat mostly comes from the sides and shoulders/hips, where as most humans carry their meat in the thighs, stomach, breast and arms, with very little on the sides or back.

3. no idea

The main cause for this question was the frost worm, which says that it turns into ice and explodes.

4. outsiders dont leave remains. so you probably cant eat them. . .

Do they leave remains at all? Even if they were on their home plane? If they don't leave remains, how can native outsiders be raised at all?
It';s beginning to look like I'm never be able to savor the sweet taste of seasoned angel wings...

Replied in bold.

Ghost-touch dentures? Regardless, I tend to avoid eating incorporeal things, they go right through me...

You, sir, are going to pun hell for that one.

[Lysander]

... How do you even eat incorporeal things?

Simple. Just eat it on the ethereal plane.

[Tiki Snakes]

Having discussed exactly that at length in a previous thread, I have come to the personal decision that eating other sentient creatures (that are however not the same species as yourself) is not strictly speaking cannibalism. It is however, a similar taboo, for very similar reasons, it's just a practice that we don't have a snappy word for as it's not actually possible in the real-world.

Problem is, cannibalism isn't derived from ancient latin or greek for "Eating People", that would be 'Anthrophagy', and I can't think of any appropriate and clear variation for this fantasy-cannibalism. Any budding ancient-greek language affectionados in tonight?

Oh, and 'Giant Vermin'? That mostly means Big Bugs in DnD terms, right? Well, you'd butcher and eat them like any other real world Big Bugs.

See Crabs and Lobsters for details, if nothing else.

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Hit it's weak point for MASSIVE DAMAGE.
Just don't let it's folks find out.

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They Get Cranky.

Oh hey, bonus crustacean!