Items You Would Never Buy, But Wish You Would [3.5]

[Temotei]

As the title says: Which items do you wish were worth your money, but rarely, if ever, are?

[gomipile]

The Rod of Many Wands.

[Seffbasilisk]

Unguent of Timelessness
Boots of Stomp

[Boci]

Cubic Gate.

[Fax Celestis]

Rod of Ropes.

I just wish it had a weapon function so I could have a real hookshot.

[thubby]

that giant crab-submarine-thing. i defy anyone here to tell me they don't want a tank. DEFY you i say!

[Ashiel]

That spoon that creates the cardboard tasting food; in the DMG.

[Tyndmyr]

The Rod of Many Wands.

I fully intend to get a stack of them in my current campaign. Im finally going to have an actually competent crafter, and we're using craft points, so it's an attractive solution. Especially with quick-draw and belt of battle.

But yeah, they're an item I've looked at frequently and mentioned the coolness of, but rarely used.

[Cieyrin]

that giant crab-submarine-thing. i defy anyone here to tell me they don't want a tank. DEFY you i say!

Bah, you haven't had gladiator bouts between your Devices of Kwalish, then. Great fun can be had with a little imagination and tricking out your individual Device.

[Ilmryn]

The rod of wonder. I love that item, and I've even placed it into my PC's treasure several times, but they never use it.

[Esser-Z]

Definitely the Apparatus of the Crab. So awesome. So not awesome.

[thubby]

Bah, you haven't had gladiator bouts between your Devices of Kwalish, then. Great fun can be had with a little imagination and tricking out your individual Device.

oh i did one better. i had animated constructs pull it so i could ride it into battle. ^,^

[Tael]

I really want to walk up to the barmaid and be able to say "Hey, you wanna see my Rod of Lordly Might?"

[Jack_Simth]

The rod of wonder. I love that item, and I've even placed it into my PC's treasure several times, but they never use it.

If it's the standard Rod of Wonder, be grateful you don't have a caster who knows how to game it.

1) Find an open area of barren terrain with a lot of nearby rocks
2) Summon Monster I: Celestial Monkey (although Summon Elemental Reserve Feat is better, as that's infinite, but the Celestial Monkey is core).
3) Hand the rod to it.
4) Tell it to activate the rod, targeting that boulder at a right angle from you.
5) Results of 1d100:
01-05: Slow: No effect on a boulder. Go to 4.
06-10: Faerie Fire: No effect. Go to 4.
11-15: Delusion: No meaningful effect. Go to 4.
16-20: Gust of Wind: No meaningful effect. Go to 4.
21-25: Detect Thoughts: No meaningful effect. Go to 4.
26-30: Stinking Cloud: The boulder is now obscured for a little while. Pick a different rock, then go to 4.
31-33: Rain: You're now a bit damp. Ignore, and go to 4.
34-36: Summon: Have the fighter kill it if it's hostile, otherwise, use it as the target next time around, and go to 4.
37-46: Lightning Bolt: I don't think the rock will care. Go to 4.
47-49: Butterflies: Wait until they fly away, then go to 4.
50-53: Enlarge Person: Does nothing to target. Go to 4.
54-58: Darkness: Your boulder is now obscured for a little while. Pick a different rock, then go to 4.
59-62: Grass growth: This one's vaugely annoying. Go to a different section of barren terrain, then go to 4.
63-65: Ethereal Target: Oh well, we need a new rock. Pick one, then go to 4.
66-69: Reduce Wielder: Ah, man, we need a new Summon. Oh well, it's a 1st level spell. Get the rod back, go to 2.
70-79: Fireball: Ah, the rock is toasty warm. Nobody cares, go to 4.
80-84: Invisibility: Great. Now we can't see the monkey. Nobody cares, go to 4.
85-87: Leaves: Okay... now it's a plant-ish rock. Nobody cares, go to 4.
91-95: Shimmering colors: Nice light show. Rock doesn't care. Go to 4.
96-97: Color change: Ah, the monkey is a funny color. Nobody cares. Go to 4.
98-100: Flesh to Stone / Stone to Flesh: Ah, the boulder is now tasty. Nobody cares. Go to 4.
88-90: Gems (Skipped earlier): This is the one we're looking for. Get the rod back, dismiss the monkey, pick up all the gems - they're trade goods - then go to 4.

If you have the Summon Elemental Reserve Feat and an elemental language (Hey, elementals can talk, and it's command-word item) you can do this all day, at no cost to you. Oh yes, and each time, you've got a 3% chance of getting 10-40 gp richer, at no noticeable cost other than time.

Mind you, your DM is well within his rights to start making up effects if you abuse things like this, but if you have a "typical" Rod of Wonder....

[Saph]

If it's the standard Rod of Wonder, be grateful you don't have a caster who knows how to game it.

. . .

If you have the Summon Elemental Reserve Feat and an elemental language (Hey, elementals can talk, and it's command-word item) you can do this all day, at no cost to you. Oh yes, and each time, you've got a 3% chance of getting 10-40 gp richer, at no noticeable cost other than time.

Mind you, your DM is well within his rights to start making up effects if you abuse things like this, but if you have a "typical" Rod of Wonder....

If that was seriously the most abusive plan the casters in my party could come up with, I don't think I'd be terribly worried. :P

[Harris the Ford]

The rod of wonder. I love that item, and I've even placed it into my PC's treasure several times, but they never use it.

I use this item ALL THE TIME. simple as "hey Kal, *rolls d%* make a will save"

hilarity ensues most of the time.


I wish rings of hivemind were cheaper :(

[Temotei]

If that was seriously the most abusive plan the casters in my party could come up with, I don't think I'd be terribly worried. :P

Wizard: "Stupid DM! I shall smite thee mind with my clearly superior intellect and tactics! Rod of wonder on rock! Ha! Ten to forty gold pieces 3% of the time!"

Paladin: "Pazuzu...pazuzu...pazuzu."

[Jack_Simth]

If that was seriously the most abusive plan the casters in my party could come up with, I don't think I'd be terribly worried. :P

Ah, but they're breaking WBL!

Granted, the simplest way to stop them is to, you know, make them roll the die each and every time, rather than letting them run it statistically during down-time ... the other players will stop them, no problem.

Granted, it's a lot simpler, faster, and more reliable with the Wall of Iron spell.

Granted, it's a lot simpler, faster, and more reliable with the Fabricate spell.

But it's funny to figure out how to make an infinite-use item give you cash.

[liquid150]

I'd rather have the butterflies, personally.

[thubby]

I'd rather have the butterflies, personally.

find the right hobbyist and you could make a fortune off of them

[Glimbur]

Blast Discs! Instant trap! Instant door opener! (except fire damage v things with hardness is pretty bad) Conversation Piece! Door prize! Practical jokes! Burglar alarm! Jumping aid! Campfire starter! A million and one uses! Order now!

[Draz74]

Cloak of Arachnida has always fascinated me with its flavor, but scared me away with its price tag.

[shadow_archmagi]

Pick of something. I can't recall the name.

It's in the MiC. It's a pickaxe with an angry dwarf design on it.

It murders walls of force. Because dwarves HATE when they can't mine through something.

[Yahzi]

Poisons.

They sound cool but the prices are insane.

[Shpadoinkle]

Ring of Shooting Stars, in the DMG. It's actually pretty cool... but it's got a 50,000 GP price tag. Going with WBL as a guideline, it's not even affordable until 11th level, and then you'll only have 16,000 for everything else, and it's not reasonably affordable until level 14, when it's essentially useless anyway due to unimpressive damage and an attack with a pathetic reflex save for those levels.

[Jack_Simth]

Poisons.

They sound cool but the prices are insane.

Unless you redo the poison mechanics, they have to be. See, injury poison lets you poison all your arrows, then shoot out save-or-lose effects, quite readily three or four in a round, and they'll all have the same DC. A Wizard has to go to great lengths to get that many save-or-lose effects in a round, and in the doing, sacrifices his save DC noticeably.

Now, if you did re-do the poison mechanics to weaken them in any of a couple of specific manners, then you could cut down on the costs of the poisons. But as exists in 3.5, poison of any use needs to be overly-expensive at the level where it would be useful.

[gomipile]

Granted, it's a lot simpler, faster, and more reliable with the Wall of Iron spell.

If one conservatively assumes a relative density of 1.44 for crystalline salt, then Wall of Salt(sandstorm) produces much more wealth per cast than Wall of Iron. Also, the volume of salt produced scales directly as (caster level)^2 for every caster level gained. Not to mention that it is only a level 4 spell.

Also, a friend of mine pointed out that in an evil campaign, Wall of Salt + Decanter of Endless Water(set on "geyser") = a great way to salt the earth in your wake.

[thubby]

Unless you redo the poison mechanics, they have to be. See, injury poison lets you poison all your arrows, then shoot out save-or-lose effects, quite readily three or four in a round, and they'll all have the same DC. A Wizard has to go to great lengths to get that many save-or-lose effects in a round, and in the doing, sacrifices his save DC noticeably.

Now, if you did re-do the poison mechanics to weaken them in any of a couple of specific manners, then you could cut down on the costs of the poisons. But as exists in 3.5, poison of any use needs to be overly-expensive at the level where it would be useful.

except that the saves are already so low as to be trivial by the time you could spam them, the damage on them is usually extremely low, and even the entire premise of them having to be prohibitively expensive, as opposed to restrictively so is demonstrably false thanks to the numerous other consumables that no one carries hordes of.

and that's ignoring that casters can cast multiple save or lose spells in a round as opposed to poisons which are at worst save or suck.

[Jack_Simth]

except that the saves are already so low as to be trivial by the time you could spam them, the damage on them is usually extremely low, and even the entire premise of them having to be prohibitively expensive, as opposed to restrictively so is demonstrably false thanks to the numerous other consumables that no one carries hordes of.

and that's ignoring that casters can cast multiple save or lose spells in a round as opposed to poisons which are at worst save or suck.

Take Drow Poison, as an example. You fail a save, you're a very short distance from a CdG. Your basic save-or-lose.

A 1st level archer with both Point Blank Shot and Rapid shot (not much of a stretch - human warrior 1 can do it) can spit out two arrows in a round. Costs him 150 gp per round to do it, so he can't do it often... of course, if he Crafts his own poison (skill ranks), then it only costs him 50 gp/round. Oh yes, and 50% of the misses are recoverable.

1st level characters don't usually have much of a Fort save, unless it's a good save for them. At this level, a Wizard can use... a DC 14 Save or Lose effects (Sleep, Color Spray, and to an extent, Daze), possibly DC 15 or 16, but that's pushing it at the level. Once per round, if he's not disrupted and is close enough for it.

Now, if Drow Poison is made more affordable (10 gp a dose?), then the warrior can do this in every fight, and basically slaughter everything in his path (unless they're immune to poison). If Drow Poison is given a higher save DC instead, then we simply move the example up a couple of levels, and have the same problem. As it stands, if you work at your poisons, they're a roughly balanced strategy, compared to other Core options.

Did WotC go overboard with the changes to poisons in the 2nd->3rd edition transition? Possibly. But they were much, much too strong in 2nd edition (especially if you dug up the ways to focus on them). This is better, really.

Edit: Oh yes, and they also have to be weak for when cost-bypassing methods become commonly available - Minor Creation can make a lot of poisons.

[Dusk Eclipse]

Take Drow Poison, as an example. You fail a save, you're a very short distance from a CdG. Your basic save-or-lose.

A 1st level archer with both Point Blank Shot and Rapid shot (not much of a stretch - human warrior 1 can do it) can spit out two arrows in a round. Costs him 150 gp per round to do it, so he can't do it often... of course, if he Crafts his own poison (skill ranks), then it only costs him 50 gp/round. Oh yes, and 50% of the misses are recoverable.

1st level characters don't usually have much of a Fort save, unless it's a good save for them. At this level, a Wizard can use... a DC 14 Save or Lose effects (Sleep, Color Spray, and to an extent, Daze), possibly DC 15 or 16, but that's pushing it at the level. Once per round, if he's not disrupted and is close enough for it.

Now, if Drow Poison is made more affordable (10 gp a dose?), then the warrior can do this in every fight, and basically slaughter everything in his path (unless they're immune to poison). If Drow Poison is given a higher save DC instead, then we simply move the example up a couple of levels, and have the same problem. As it stands, if you work at your poisons, they're a roughly balanced strategy, compared to other Core options.

Did WotC go overboard with the changes to poisons in the 2nd->3rd edition transition? Possibly. But they were much, much too strong in 2nd edition (especially if you dug up the ways to focus on them). This is better, really.

I respectfully dissagree with you, I have tried to make dedicated poisoners and I failed horribly, at higher levels too many monsters have good fort saves, or are outright immune to poisons so it is not a good option to try to be one (unless you have an unlimited source of potion such as minor psionic creation)

no on topic..... I would really like to buy one of the rings of elemental command, never had the opportunity and I don't think they are too useful.