I Once Killed A Dragon THIS BIG: Extreme success and horror stories

[FreshlyMinted]

I know there are like... a billion and a half of these threads in existence, but I've read them all and I was wanting some more. So if you'd like, hit me with your most jaw-droppingest gaming related short story, either something in-game that happened that is a devilish depiction of daring do or a horrific tale of powertripping DMs and infantile players.

I'll start

I was DMing a 3.5 traditional fantasy campaign, and the players for reasons of escape were rafting down a river on a siege raft, essentially a wooden barge with a ballista mounted on top. Pretty cool. Less cool (for the party at least) is that this barge is headed towards the top of a waterfall. Now most of the party were strikers or casters all with good light armor and high jump skills, but one in particular was playing a knight class. He had really well made plate male that he had been modifying with the fiddly bits of the more interesting monsters they had slain and hadn't put any points into jump, because knights only jump in chess and nethack. So the strikers and casters all jump off the barge and are looking for some way to rope the thing back in, when the knight gives me a funny look.
Knight: Which way is the balista pointing
Me: you can't steer it, per se, but you can aim it pretty much anywhere you want
Knight: I aim it at the forest... and roll a ride check. He rolls a 20
Me: Jaw drops

Thinking he would be getting a mount, he had put maximum points into ride. I was astounded and impressed. It's why I DM

[Magic Myrmidon]

That's really awesome. Funny to imagine a full-plate wearing knight riding an arrow into the woods at high speed.

The most recent thing that comes to mind for me is a play-by-post game I'm in. I play a 9th level wizard currently.

Anyway, we're attacked by a giant that's about 750 feet away. So our party goes into action. Two of our strikers are teleported close by the party psion, while a Master of Masks and a werewolf Rogue dash off towards it. My wizard stays put, summoning a giant celestial eagle.

So anyway, the strikers, psion and rogue spend about 3 turns hacking away at the thing, doing tons of damage. The master of masks never quite makes it to the giant. (Too slow.) My wizard finishes summoning the eagle. He doesn't send it after the giant. He jumps on top of it and orders it to dash towards the giant. On the 4th turn, he makes it. The giant is on his last legs after all of the punishment, and is likely one hit away from death. However, my wizard with his high initiative swoops in with his eagle and casts baleful polymorph. The giant becomes a frog.


Very anticlimactic. My wizard was very proud of himself.

[Dubious Pie]

A good wizard is anticlimactic.

[The Mentalist]

The Dragon and the Basilisk

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So I'm playing my blind halfling illusionist and we attacked by a dragon, 1 round TPK except for me.

Did I mention my mount is a basilisk?

Dragon rolls save against the gaze attack.

NAT 1!

Bad choice of words

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The DM is giving us exposition and I ask if I can make a knowledge check to know what he's going on about.

DM: "Roll a natural 21"

I took a feat called Luck of Heroes (I think that's the name) it adds a 1d4 to your d20 roll a few times a day.

Me: "Does a 23 make it?"

The Death of Leapfrog man

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Our party rogue has two minor artifact swords, each of them do a hugely damaging area of effect spell on crit (scales with the roll) and we're on the ocean...

The dreaded DEATH SHIP comes to attack us and this guy jumps onto the boat (+120 to his Jump skill, it was what he focused on)

Rolls his first attack. 17, takes a few guys out
Rolls his off hand attack 20! Blows the deck off the ship and falls into the hold (where an epic terror lurks at the bottom)

Rolls his next attack 19. Has completely destroyed the ship other than the very bottom and reveals an avatar of Chutlu.

Rolls his attack against the old one
NAT 1!

And he dies.... horribly.

[Kingweasel]

2nd edition Juvenile black dragon vs a party of 6 all about 4th level. Err...5 people, after it offered a chance to surrender and the thief rushed out into the clearing and the dragon scooped him up into his gaping maw. *chomp chomp chomp*

We worked some damage, but magic was depleted and the really heavy hitters were close to expiring. The party ranger takes the full force of an acid blast that destroys everything except his sunblade. As the dragon dives down toward him, the ranger stands in the clearing, the tatters of his clothing covering the bits of skin that aren't melted by acid. He attempts a called shot to the eye, hurls the sunblade at the dragon and rolls....20.

Dragon cuts a furrow into the ground as it completes it dive lifelessly, the sword jutting out of its left eye.

[Mikeavelli]

While I was DM'ing...

The Party was exploring your basic evil temple in the middle of town. They were around level 5, and a Stone Golem was sitting in there protecting the Macguffin (A book with rituals necessary for EEEEEVILLE in it), but otherwise nonthreatening.

They decide they're going to get it, analyze the situation, determine they're incapable of even harming the bloody thing, and sit back to plan.

"You said this is a small valley surrounded by mountains, right?"

"Yup."

"Alright, I'ma grab the book, and start running."

(short scene later in which they run out of the temple, through the town, Golem rampaging after them the whole way, holding the book on a fishing pole apparatus like a carrot in front of a donkey. They're faster than it, so this can go on until they're exhausted)

"Running up into the mountains, and we're gonna find a cliff."

"Okay."

"get some rope tied around my waist, Fighter is going to hold it, and I'm gonna leap off the cliff"

"Great! It walks to the edge of the cliff, and looks down. Not following."

Barbarian Player: "Alright, it's right next to the cliff? Bull Rush."

Player: Rolls

Me: Alright, you hit, roll opposed strength checks. Roll high.

...

Barbarian Player: Nat 20.

Golem: FallDIE!

[onthetown]

One of my Bards Fascinated an ancient wyrm red dragon while the rest of the party snuck past it and stole its entire hoarde. She had a sore throat and bleeding fingers for a week for the amount of time it took to keep the stupid thing distracted. Nice DM ruled that it was just funny enough to work.

More recently, my Ranger/Wizard gestalt was piloting an airship and a red dragon attacked (our campaign has a fixation on red dragons, I think). She tried to bargain with it but it wasn't interested, so she drove the airship right into it and impaled it on the front of the ship. She then asked nicely (again) if it would like to reconsider. It didn't, so she set off the super-power magic-beam-of-disintegration cannon that was positioned right in front of it. Bye bye dragon.

The best time ever was when I managed to outsmart the DM. We were about to be held hostage by a group of drow, but before we were captured my character took her wild shape. He didn't question it, since I have a habit of taking it for no apparent reason every so often. The drow threw the party and leopard-character into the dungeons of their House (they didn't see her take her wild shape, so they actually thought she was a kitty... and still threw her in the same cell as everybody else; nice prison guards, eh?). Our weapons and armour were gone. Well, as soon as the guards are out of sight, my character takes her human shape again and hands everybody some of the many weapons she kept on her at all times, not to mention extra armour and all sorts of other crap I had been collecting for the entire adventure. The DM was speechless.

There are others, but those three stand out in my mind.

[Kingweasel]

Dungeon crawl. Hmmm..There's a chest? It's open? The top is covered with cobwebs?

What I meant when I said "I take my sword and whirl the cobwebs away":
"I use the tip of my sword to remove the cobwebs in a circular pattern"

What the DM heard when I said "I take my sword and whirl the cobwebs away":
"I ram my sword into the bottom of the chest and stir it around as if I'm mixing a cake"


Too bad about those 5 Beads of Force sitting in that chest--turns out those things are pretty darn fragile. And deadly.

[FreshlyMinted]

Dungeon crawl. Hmmm..There's a chest? It's open? The top is covered with cobwebs?

What I meant when I said "I take my sword and whirl the cobwebs away":
"I use the tip of my sword to remove the cobwebs in a circular pattern"

What the DM heard when I said "I take my sword and whirl the cobwebs away":
"I ram my sword into the bottom of the chest and stir it around as if I'm mixing a cake"


Too bad about those 5 Beads of Force sitting in that chest--turns out those things are pretty darn fragile. And deadly.

Haha, kinda sounds like your DM had it out for you

[Kurald Galain]

Welll...

At the end of a few sessions of dungeon crawl, the party came face to face with the BBEG, a young adult red dragon. With a party of reasonably effective level-10-ish characters, this was intended as a tough but doable encounter, suitable for the climatic endgame. I was DMing this, by the way.

So yes. The duskblade charged into melee with his spell-enhanced blade, and had a flight spell available for when the dragon took to the air. The paladin did the same, and the cleric aided him with another flight spell (from a domain, IIRC) and started the buff routine...

...the rogue took the brilliant strategy of using a wand of invis on himself, then sneaking off for the dragon's treasure hoard. The wizard took the even more brilliant strategy of charging the dragon with a found and unidentified magical rapier. Whuh?

A few rounds and two breath weapons later, the dragon was seriously injured, and per my notes switched from his "accurate" attack routine to his "power attack for 5" attack routine. However, but with two party members not contributing, the PCs felt that they weren't going to take it down. The cleric, still standing near the entrance, hightailed it out of there; the melee'ers took a cue from that and quicky flew away. The rogue was already out of the room.

Then the dragon's initiative came up, and the wizard, who was left standing next to it, took a full attack routine to the face, all with power attack for +10 damage, and did I mention the wizard having a pretty bad armor class and no defensive spells left running at this point? With a scream that abruptly cut off, the wizard easily took more damage than his maximum hit points, and was reduced to a fine red mist.

So yeah. It goes to show that a tier-1 character is a potential, not a guarantee.

[Snake-Aes]

That's really awesome. Funny to imagine a full-plate wearing knight riding an arrow into the woods at high speed.

My most recent success came from a little gag with Craft(alchemy) and a the psionic feat "On Fire".
Our group was investigating a shady mansion. Fleeing from what amounted more or less to "A damn undead horde", the group fled into the basement, and the dm said we noticed a strange, faint smell masked by the rotting stench. <rolls Alchemy> It's natural gas. We barricaded and asked the wizard to prepare his teleportation circle (10 minutes cast time). By the last minute, we had to fend the undead off with sword and spell, and when the circle was finally ready, we roll our last round of attacks to withdraw.

"I bull rush the closest zombie"
<rolls touch attack. Hit>
<rolls str check. 20. +10 from str and magic. Zombie rolls a 4>
With a maniacal grin, I tell the dm: "I lit".

I tell you, having a picnic on top of a rock overseeing a mansion on fire crumbling to pieces while dozens of corpses on fire crawl outside was worth the -9 hp.

[Coidzor]

Isn't that from like, a Metal Slug or Contra game?

[Snake-Aes]

I have no idea but I long for the day where I'll pull that off. My group's preferences of action scenes wouldn't feel out of place in a hypothetical movie made by Quentin Tarantino and Jackie Chan. And pranks with gelatinous cubes.

[Cerlis]

I guess your character didnt have sex often Snake? or at least witht he same person more than once.


A quest in W.o. Warcraft ends with you flying back to base on a flaming harpoon :P

Surfs up

[Snake-Aes]

I guess your character didnt have sex often Snake? or at least witht he same person more than once.


A quest in W.o. Warcraft ends with you flying back to base on a flaming harpoon :P

Surfs up

It's a becomer changeling half dragon. Make what you want of that.

[Lycan 01]

My level 1 Half-Orc Bard Trog, who talked in 3rd person and played the fiddle, found himself in a TPK waiting to happen. Me and two other level 1 players, a total party of 3, versus a Level 2 Solo Succubus. The odds were not in our favor, and I was last in initiative order. Everyone else blows their attacks, so I decide that rather than attack and miss, I'd try to distract the Succubbus. So, Trog swaggers up behind the demon, cops a feel, and whispers seductively in her ear. The DM looks at me like I'm an idiot, and tells me to roll higher than 20 on a bluff or diplomacy roll.

26, baby.

Oh but wait, it gets better. Grinning, the DM tells me she still gets a Will save with an immense bonus, so there was little hope of success. He rolls... and screams.

The Succubbus rolled a Nat 1 on her Will save, and promptly began making out with Trog, who simply gestured for the rest of the team to go on without him for the time being.



Unfortunately, I never got XP for it. The DM ruled that even though I defeated a Level 2 Solo in one move, it didn't count since it was just a lucky roll and not actual combat. Trog did, however, recieve a permanent +2 bonus to all Charisma tests involving women. Too bad we never played again after that session...

[Cespenar]

The Succubbus rolled a Nat 1 on her Will save, and promptly began making out with Trog, who simply gestured for the rest of the team to go on without him for the time being.

Unfortunately, I never got XP for it. The DM ruled that even though I defeated a Level 2 Solo in one move, it didn't count since it was just a lucky roll and not actual combat. Trog did, however, recieve a permanent +2 bonus to all Charisma tests involving women. Too bad we never played again after that session...

You know what happens when you make out with a succubus, right?

Never mind the XP, you're lucky the DM let you go alive with it.

[Thajocoth]

My party once, in a 4e game, had no chance to short rest before facing a solo dragon. I forget what color it was, but it was shiny, so I found it odd that it was attacking us... It was probably a level or two above us. It did not get any actions. It had two turns, I think it was, but spent them stunned as we just beat it to death.

Being out of Encounter powers from not resting, and being obviously on the final boss, we used almost entirely Dailies on him...

I think we were around level 22.

[Noedig]

Sorry for length.

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We're in a nasty lich's tomb trying to find something or other. Don't remember what cause we never found it. Anyway, we're all 7th level, theres a dread necro, a rouge/shadowdancer, a mage, and a cleric (me). The rogue and I are exploring a portion of a sizable room deep in the tomb. The mage and the dread necro are about 80 feet away examining some arcane text. The rogue and I find a room with a sarcophagus in it. We push off the lid and lo and behold there is a non-animated mummy lying there, with the mother of all sapphires in one of its empty eye sockets.

Thinking that I was being clever, I take my +2 disruption mace and casually stave its chest cavity in. Nothing happens. Thinking that I had handled the possibility of it animating, I took the sapphire. The mummy wakes up. I win initiative and hit it with the mace. It makes its DC14 save. It casts slay living. I get an AoO on it. I hit it, and my DM looks at me. "It's got a +13 will. The only way I can fail is if I roll a 1." He rolls a one. Mummy Lord dies, and I gain 3 whole levels for killing a CR 15 by myself.

[Fax Celestis]

oWoD Vampire game.

I started Gehenna with a botched Necromancy roll.

Whoops.

[Ormur]

We've had a quite a few in out campaign recently, relatively speaking. We've managed to survive three separate encounters with an epic level dragon along with a lich and another with his balor lieutenant as two 14th level characters.

The biggest, unqualified combat success was however when we defeated an ur-priest capable of casting 9th level spells with our 7th level spells. His energy drain missed, I bull rushed him out a window with Bigby's hand and the Druid cast drown on him and he failed his save.

[Swordgleam]

Killing things is awesome, but I think my most epic success was in Star Wars when I bluffed our way into an imperial base without any kind of forged paperwork or identification.

We had our cunning plan all planned out, and I could forge things as could a couple other people. I just forgot to. So we pull up to the front gate of the compound in our stolen imperial truck, and the guard says, "Papers."

Everything stops.

Then I begin desperately slapping at my pockets and the compartments in the truck. "Papers? Papers? Oh blast.. That must be what I used to clean up that coffee I spilled a few miles back. I wondered where they came from."

The guard rolled his eyes, muttered, "I hate stormtroopers," and let us in. Thus providing my new manta for bluffing: There is nothing more believable than incompetence.

And by the way, we blew up the base. Due to a string of increasingly improbable bluff checks, I managed to avoid combat (for myself at least) almost the entire time.

[Noedig]

^^Win. Now I have to learn the Star Wars game system.

[MarkusWolfe]

Thus providing my new manta for bluffing: There is nothing more believable than incompetence.

I'm taking this to 1001 DND Advice bits. Don't worry, I'll give ya full credit.

[Soranar]

We were basically reenacting the 7 samurai scenario

By bad bandits kept raiding a little village full of commoners (some of them were eating the commoners...)

we're a wooping level 1 party with a Barbarian, a Cleric, a wizard and a bard (me) and we're about to get TPKd because of bad luck

so I run to the village and try to diplomancy the whole place to help us defend them

1 nat 20 later, a horde of commoners with pitchforks are stabbing the bandits to death (inspire courage was barely necessary)

[Thajocoth]

A friend of mine told me about a game he was in and made an awesome check in. He was playing an absolute moron. Someone accused the party of being spies.

(In a really 'stupid brute' voice) "But... If we were spies... Wouldn't we be more inc... inco... normal looking?" Using the fact that the party is all different weird races, like most parties. He made the check and convinced the person they're not spies.

[MarkusWolfe]

A friend of mine told me about a game he was in and made an awesome check in. He was playing an absolute moron. Someone accused the party of being spies.

(In a really 'stupid brute' voice) "But... If we were spies... Wouldn't we be more inc... inco... normal looking?" Using the fact that the party is all different weird races, like most parties. He made the check and convinced the person they're not spies.

That must've given him an EPIC RP bonus to bluff.

[Swordgleam]

"But... If we were spies... Wouldn't we be more inc... inco... normal looking?" Using the fact that the party is all different weird races, like most parties. He made the check and convinced the person they're not spies.

That's awesome. My last party always had trouble justifying why half of them were giant lizards and half of them were humans. No group they encountered ever trusted all of them.

[Thajocoth]

That must've given him an EPIC RP bonus to bluff.

The DM said he gave, like, a +5 awesomeness bonus. And it was Diplomacy, because they really weren't spies.

Guy was a Human Warlord... Probably dumped Int, which narrows down the class feature options a bit.

[Togo]

I was facing trolls. Due to campaign specific plot, they were immune to fire. due to the mod writing being an ass, they were also immune to acid. We took them down, they took us down. Eventually it was only me, as the party healer, left standing. I was out of spells, watching trolls slowly get better.

So I got out my healing kit, got out my scalpel, opened a hole in the troll's neck, and stuffed my hat (a beret) down his throat. Then the troll healed the wound, and choked to death. Regenerating invulnerable monsters suffocate just as fast as anyone else.