The Pungeon

[F.H. Zebedee]

So, anyways, I'm planning on running a humor heavy campaign in a little bit, and my table traffics in the most dangerous of all weaponry, the humble pun.

I know you playgrounders have a knack for humor, and thus was hoping you might provide me with some puns that I could use to spark ideas for enemies, items, and traps in the dungeon they'll be running through. (The overworld probably will be less weird overall, though still lighthearted comparatively.)

I've already read through all of Goblins and Erfworld and Order of the Stick (including the bonus materials), so please don't suggest any puns from them. Anybody who does suggest puns from them, I'm going to assume you can't think for yourself, or at least bother to read four paragraphs of text. (Sorry to be so snippy, but I tend to get pissy about people that assume suggesting ideas from OotS for everything will be helpful, when 95% of the forum populace is totally up to date on it.) (Besides, the "Wall of Mice" has achieved almost legendary status with my group these days.)

As for the pool of reference, I've got one who's a heavy gamer who's played a bit of everything, one who only knows D&D via computer games, and one who lives and breathes D&D 3.5, especially the monster manuals. So most
1st/2nd ed puns or background information puns (such as stuff about Vancian casting or even, sadly, Gygax) might go over their heads, whereas puns based on standard magic items, monsters, and spells will certainly hit the spot and induce mucho groaning.

Thank you in advance for any help provided.

[DementedFellow]

I do believe this is what you may be looking for.

http://www.duke.edu/web/DRAGO/humor/useless_spells.html

[dsmiles]

So, have you tried the Wall of SPAM (a literal meat shield, though I'm not entirely sure that SPAM qualifies as meat)?

Not so much a pun, more like just something funny/disgusting to throw at them.

[Codenpeg]

Monty Python, you forgot to mention not to suggest anything from there. Although if that's not popular with your crowd that's fine, but remember that slapping people with fish is always hilarious.

A flying warlock named Goku who is one of those monkey people from Oriental Adventures, a village of commoner farmers ruled by house cat overlords? Let me think about it more.

[Cespenar]

A magical cheese that grants its consumer godlike powers. It could easily be the MacGuffin the players would be racing for.

[LordBlades]

If your player's don't have it, the Munchkin series (Munchkin's Player's gude, Muchkin Master's Guide an Munchkin Monster Manual) provides some hillarious ideas for monsters and spells.

[Saintheart]

Who can withstand the might of the Befolder Page? A floating ball of paper whose eight tendrils of dead wood can instill very, very nasty paper cuts.

[hamishspence]

If your player's don't have it, the Munchkin series (Munchkin's Player's gude, Muchkin Master's Guide an Munchkin Monster Manual) provides some hillarious ideas for monsters and spells.

Two Monster Manuals- the "2.5" manual has a whole bunch of other ones- including the auntie-paladin.

[Morph Bark]

Would this help?

Answer: it probably wouldn't. Thanks anyway. You've been a lovely audience tonight.

[Codenpeg]

A magical cheese that grants its consumer godlike powers. It could easily be the MacGuffin the players would be racing for.

Made me chuckle. How about ...
a city of hideous barmaids
a set of magical gloves that are both right handed
a mystical artifact that is actually the missing sock of a god
a ninja who wears bright orange and makes tons of noise

or
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.ph.../PungeonMaster
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.ph...rediblyLamePun

[Cyrion]

They could go on a quest for the Fountain of Euth- a fountain owned by a wizard who isn't very receptive to visitors. (When I ran it, I made Euth a vampire, so there was a kernal of truth to both sides of the pun.)

If you're looking for other sources, Piers Anthony has made a living on awful puns in his Xanth series.

[Efil]

How about a line of burly, northern barbarians who stand completely silent, but block all attacks and movements through the line? It is in fact a Wall of Norse.

[Toric]

Let's see...

Intelligent Items: Flaming Sword (I just LOVE what you've done with this lair! Snake pits, skull levers, demonic carvings; whew, I'm getting a little hot!)

Mace of Interruption ("To reach Gorefast's castle you must first pass through the Forests of Peril, then traverse-" *AHEM!* "....As I was saying, first the Forest and then through the swamp-" *ERHAHUM!* )

Axe of Shock ("So you see, when I am done the village of Brumble will be burned to the ground." *Excessive gasp*)

[Bagelz]

I do believe this is what you may be looking for.
http://www.duke.edu/web/DRAGO/humor/useless_spells.html

and

the wall of norse

are fantastic. can i destroy the wall by digging up grates (i would like to disinter grates) or insulting them (i'm dis'in' the grates)?

also,
As the adventurers are exploring a tomb, a large wooden box starts sliding towards them. No matter what the adventurers try it won't stop moving. The coffin takes considerable damage, being made of wood but they just can't destroy it. Finally they stumble across a lavatory with a medicine cabinet.

Aha! the cough syrup can stop the coffin'!

more 4e related: a very very cold hunk of cheese. using it makes the rest of the party very annoyed at you. You're using frost-cheese.

[El Dorado]

I am having Xanth novel flashbacks.

[Bruendor_Cavescout]

Actually, one of the World of Greyhawk mods would be useful to you. "Castle Greyhawk" was a collection of joke mods, likely never intended to be used as an actual adventure. There were some, um, "inspired" creatures.

For example:

The ropeless. Basically, a roper minus the sticky tendrils. It had to wait for people to come to it.

The guys. There were four of them in one of the adventures - a fire guy, a frost guy, a stone guy and a hill guy. They're about 6' tall, and realize they're not that impressive.

The mind-fileter. Part crawling horror from beyond the stars, part meat golem, the mind-fileter was a stitched-together construct of meat primals, with sausage fingers and a squid for a head. Probably one of the more inspired of the monster puns.

The cretin. Just like an ettin - only dumber. It'll fall for any reasonable bluff that your party can throw out. It'll also fall for any unreasonable bluff that your party can throw out.

There were a few other enemies...weregummibears, bread puddings, and jet-propelled piercers come to mind...

[El Dorado]

Gah! Now I'm having PTSD! I had a character killed by Gummi Wear Bears. Indiana Gnome was cool, though.

[grimbold]

a village of commoner farmers ruled by house cat overlords? Let me think about it more.

in fact my world has a town based around the worship of the cat god Zaza, they worship in the temple at least 3 hours a day and sing her praises in the fields

my real life cats name is Zaza ;)

[Frosty]

I do believe this is what you may be looking for.

http://www.duke.edu/web/DRAGO/humor/useless_spells.html

Hmm...Detect Pervert and Cure STDs are certainly NOT useless spells...

[grimbold]

actually the may be among the MOST useful spells
depending on what your rping

[Ravens_cry]

Humour in fantasy can be fun, in certain doses. Especially in written fiction, where it's all happening to someone else and you can laugh at it from an aloof perspective.
For example, Pratchett. I love Sir Terry and his mixing thoughtful musings on humanities place in the universe and ribald absurdity. But even there, too much can be grating to some people.
For example, Xaneth. Those books have their fans, but gods, so many puns.
Too many puns in this ones view.
Playing that, a world that is impossible to take seriously so the characters are impossible to like, would be pretty bad in my view. It's absurd and arbitrary and reminds you too much of what your doing, sitting around table rolling dice and doing math, breaking immersion. How do you get motivated to care about anything enough to go do anything?
For a short one off, this could work, but a whole campaign would be like gorging on caramel, a sticky mess that leaves you feeling queezy.
I hope this wasn't too harsh, but in the end this is my opinion on the matter.
I hope that helps.

[RebelRogue]

I'm reminded of my old Basic set DMG, which suggested joke mosters such as a mouth harpy (who doesn't sing but play the harmonica) and an ogre jelly instead of an ochre jelly. It's sort of disturbing I still remember those bad puns

[grimbold]

I'm reminded of my old Basic set DMG, which suggested joke mosters such as a mouth harpy (who doesn't sing but play the harmonica) and an ogre jelly instead of an ochre jelly. It's sort of disturbing I still remember those bad puns

assuming you mean BECMI, which of those is it? Gygax seriously suggested joke monsters?

[GhostwheelZ]

The Unglued set from MtG might have some interesting ideas. Knight of the Hokey Pokey (Otto's Irresistable Dance?) and the Cheese (that) Stands Alone (at will grease effect?) might come in handy.

[DragonOfUndeath]

a village of commoner farmers ruled by house cat overlords? Let me think about it more.

all villages are ruled by Housecat overlords, most people don't know it cause the Housecat just uses one of its many SLA: Dominate Person on the mayor/ruler/entire council

[RebelRogue]

assuming you mean BECMI, which of those is it? Gygax seriously suggested joke monsters?

It's BECMI alright, witten by Gygax and Arneson. I just re-checked now. They also suggested Rock and Roll Baboon

[Beelzebub1111]

Well, playing a dwarf, someone suggested I ride on the barbarian's shoulders for a tandem attack. My response: "Oh come on, can't we get BEYOND THUNDERDOME?" That stopped the game for a good fifteen minutes.

Oh, and you can't forget the Brassiere of Controlling Fire Elementals.

[The Vorpal Tribble]

You want groaning, huh?

Well then, might I introduce you to the Eunuchorn?

Then there are the magical Morphine Fairies to help you sleep.

Oh, and this guy right here? He's a real Bad Ass.

It's subtle, but Chastity I also filled full of puns... and she liked it.

If you really want to go for a laugh, the Rubber Chicken Swarm never fails... unless they succeed on their saving throw.

Then we also have the Emminent Domain.

Also need to mention Power Word: Vomit and Wall of Yo Momma! spells.

Last, but not least, kneel before the great Porcelain god!

His Bowl of Golden Waters (scroll down) will keep you in good stead.

[Orbin Dules]

This isn't really a pun, it's more of a joke magic item.

The Magic 8 Ball: When shaken and asked a question, This round black ball with the number 8 engraved on it will answer as if the user had cast an Augury
spell. However, the answer is actually randomized. The DM will roll 1d4 and answer thusly:
1-weal
2-woe
3-weal and woe
4-nothing

[Frozen_Northman]

You could introduce a drunken knight who has sworn to protect the lands by a certain river. His name would be Sir Osis of the River (cirrhosis of the liver).


Or a magical sword that, upon defeating opponents, turned them into chocolate malts. I call it the Malt-Ease Falchion. (The Maltese Falcon)