Abuse This!

[Iituem]

Just a creativity game. Setting/system is nominally 3.5Ed D&D, but this will usually work for any setting or system. The idea is to propose magic (or mundane) items or artefacts, then work out as many ways as possible to break the game with it. If you can come up with an item/spell along these lines, suggest it as well and keep the thread going! Here's one to start us off.


Sigil of Squirrel Summoning
This ever-replenishing pot of ink can be used to write as normal ink can. One hour after the writing is finished, each word will disappear and a squirrel will jump out of the page (one squirrel per word written). The nature of the script is irrelevant to the enchantment; only the number of words. The inkpot never runs dry. The squirrel is a result of a true conjuration and will not disappear after time or death.

NB: The summoner has no control over the squirrels once they appear. They are just squirrels.

[CodeRed]

You have infinite squirrels? I'd open an all-you-can-eat squirrel gumbo joint and become rich. (Cribbed from the Hydra Head hut from the comic.)

[OracleofWuffing]

Inkpot never runs dry? Turn it upside down, flood the BBEG's dungeon. Just like a Decanter of Endless Water, except water breathing shenanigans won't get in the way and you might blind someone trying to escape. Bonus!

[Magdela]

http://deadsquirrel.com/squirrel-dam...100000-a-year/

Now that that's over.

Dominate an enemy you do not like and put them in an enclosed space. Tell them to write the word "I" on the paper of a notebook over and over again.

Nourishment will come from the squirrels.

Eventually the entire thing will flood with squirrels and he/she will be killed by them.

Death by squirrels.

[Morithias]

Necrotic Cyst...Suicide bombers....forever.

There we go.

[Tvtyrant]

Have a Cleric Rebuke a Bodak. Have it vision kill millions of squirrels as they spawn. Then throw the corpses into the dungeon of the BBEG and block the entrance with walls of stone and iron. He's dead Jim.

[Amiel]

One theory on the origins of the Lady of Pain represent her in the form of triune squirrels, each controlling different aspects of her person; one controls the tiara of blades, the other the mask and swirling longcoat and the last controls the flaying and mazes.
A long "tail" also trails behind her.

[sambo.]

you're offering an infinite amount of a useful resource?

surely the trick is in how NOT to abuse it...

[Flickerdart]

Squirrels are used by Pun-Pun to ascend to godhood.

[Morithias]

Squirrels are used by Pun-Pun to ascend to godhood.

He's not kidding, the build actually uses them in the technique to gain divine ranks. That's not some joke.

Nice job, you've created a way for pun-pun to ascend to god hood without having to take ranks in "profession: hunter". XD

[Strife Warzeal]

Sigil of Squirrel Summoning
This ever-replenishing pot of ink can be used to write as normal ink can. One hour after the writing is finished, each word will disappear and a squirrel will jump out of the page (one squirrel per word written). The nature of the script is irrelevant to the enchantment; only the number of words. The inkpot never runs dry. The squirrel is a result of a true conjuration and will not disappear after time or death.

Is this a real item in DnD? If so what book?

[Alleine]

Did someone say "Persisted Greater Consumptive Field"? Cuz that's what I heard. Hello health, strength, and caster level!

[Bayar]

Write "a" over and over in a book, toss the book in BBEG's lair, lock the doors.

[Iituem]

Oh goodness no that's not real. Incredibly unbalanced item. Let's try a limited use one instead.

Hunk Rump Special Edition

Initially appearing to be nothing more than an ordinary 52-card deck of Hunk Rump: The Gathering, when any card is played the card will disappear and a muscular, highly attractive and either scantily-clad or provocatively dressed homosexual male of the species that played the card will appear and attempt to seduce any males in the room. The hunk lasts for 48 hours before disappearing back to whatever mysterious place it came from.

In species that do not reproduce by sexual reproduction, the cards do not function. In hermaphroditic species the card produces an ordinary hermaphrodite.

Summoned Hunks are typically Level 1 Bards with +8 Charisma, +8 Str (over the base for that species) and 4 ranks in Bluff, Disguise, Diplomacy and Profession(gigolo). They will not obey orders unless seduced into doing so but will instead attempt to seduce any male members of an appropriate species in the vicinity.

[absolmorph]

Give it to Garl Glittergold.

EDIT: For either item, really.

[OracleofWuffing]

Hunk Rump Special Edition

Pump diplomacy, summon everything in the deck, and seduce every single one of them to grapple and pin the BBEG.*

*They might end up doing that last part automatically.

[Ozymandias]

Pump diplomacy, summon everything in the deck, and seduce every single one of them to grapple and pin the BBEG.*

*They might end up doing that last part automatically.

Apply that strategy to the first item.

Case in point:

Spoiler

Show

[Strife Warzeal]

Seduce all 52 of the Hunks to start writing, after 59 minutes (reduce time as necessary) throw all the writing into the BBEG room and wait a minute.


Squirrelsplosion.

[jseah]

Try this on for size:

http://www.d20srd.org/srd/magicItems...fBlastingMinor

6.5k gp (and the head slot) for 3d8 damage once per day...
Break that, go on.


For a more in-line challenge:

De-Massing Jelly
This wand generates little white balls of sticky goo (unlimited). The bit of something you spread it over becomes as light as air (mass and weight) and will blow away in the lightest wind. EDIT: this includes creatures. They're liable to go drifting off into the sky when they walk.
The goo lasts forever until scraped off. No harm to biologicals.


Easily broken. But I'm rather interested if others are thinking the things I'm thinking.

[JaronK]

Sadly, this squirrel item is trumped by a commoner with infested with chickens, which is very similar, cheaper, and gets you flying necromantic bombs/zombie soldiers/snacks. They taste better too.

As for the De-massing jelly, depends on how much it costs to spread over how large a surface.

JaronK

[OracleofWuffing]

Try this on for size:

http://www.d20srd.org/srd/magicItems...fBlastingMinor

6.5k gp (and the head slot) for 3d8 damage once per day...
Break that, go on.

I haven't looked too far into this, so I could easily be missing something really obvious, but a cursory glance doesn't explicitly require you to use up your head slot to use it.

[aquaticrna]

provided that your wand's goo can be stored in a pot or something: stock pile large amounts of magic goo, pour/throw on enemy, cast gust of wind

[ShneekeyTheLost]

Oh goodness no that's not real. Incredibly unbalanced item. Let's try a limited use one instead.

Hunk Rump Special Edition

Initially appearing to be nothing more than an ordinary 52-card deck of Hunk Rump: The Gathering, when any card is played the card will disappear and a muscular, highly attractive and either scantily-clad or provocatively dressed homosexual male of the species that played the card will appear and attempt to seduce any males in the room. The hunk lasts for 48 hours before disappearing back to whatever mysterious place it came from.

In species that do not reproduce by sexual reproduction, the cards do not function. In hermaphroditic species the card produces an ordinary hermaphrodite.

Summoned Hunks are typically Level 1 Bards with +8 Charisma, +8 Str (over the base for that species) and 4 ranks in Bluff, Disguise, Diplomacy and Profession(gigolo). They will not obey orders unless seduced into doing so but will instead attempt to seduce any male members of an appropriate species in the vicinity.

I can still hear 'persistant greater consumptive field', however depending on gender of BBEG, you may have created a Pile of Dead Bards to provide full cover.

[Halae]

I can still hear 'persistant greater consumptive field', however depending on gender of BBEG, you may have created a Pile of Dead Bards to provide full cover.

you just had to say it. Now my party fighter (who hates the bard) won't stopo asking me to give the cleric this

[flabort]

Cover a building with the goo?

Here. I'd like to see how you can break these items, too.
Quill of Illusions
This oversized writing feather appears to be made of an indefinite material, having a brilliant shine to it resembling that of silver or gold, but having a bright purple coloration.
When writing with the Quill of Illusions, any ink used becomes a bright golden color. Furthermore, when a finger is rubbed over the words written, images appear floating just in front of the reader's eyes. What images are created are chosen by the writer as he writes those words. The images are only visual illusions, and produce no sounds, scents, textures, or temperatures.
Faint illusion; CL 2nd; Craft wondrous Item, Silent Image; price 500 gp

Page of Conversation
These standard sized pieces of parchment or paper were designed in order to hold written conversations between two people far away, and are usually created in magically connected pairs. They may be created in larger quantities, but such usage is rare, and wasteful. Whenever they are created in such a way, however, multiple sets are created and bound into books usually 50 pages to a book, in sets of four or five books.
The page appears to be an absolutely normal piece of paper until written upon. Any writing on one Page of Conversation will appear on the other(s) it is bonded to, and fade to a barely legible light gray on the original paper. Any magical effects applied to the writing loses it's power in the original page, but sustains full effect on the bonded pages. All writing disappears two hours from when it is written. A single page can generally hold 100 words.
Faint Evocation; CL 5th; Craft wondrous Item, Sending, Secret page; price 500 gp/page (25000 gp/book), created in bound sets.

[Halae]

on breaking the Page of Conversations, you explicitly stated that writing in the first book gets rid of the magic but that magic still works in the second book. get one that has mutliple receptacles (maybe say... 53) then get the hunks to write out squirrels, all of which shall pop in the BBEG's lair since you somehow got the book in there

[flabort]

yes, I'm double posting (unless ninja).
Yes, I'm aware of the potential combination of Sigil of Squirrel summoning, and Page of Conversation. That's why it sends magical effects and lasts 2 hours in the first place .
I also want to point out that, for the hunk rump deck, This requires a bard to be brutally murdered to make. This prevents having to hunt for them, and is awesome.

Edit: also, if it's not already obvious, the books thing is supposed to be a reference. Most GitPers should get it. (look leftwards if you don't)

[Saintheart]

Pump diplomacy**, summon everything in the deck, and seduce every single one of them to grapple and pin the BBEG.*

*They might end up doing that last part automatically.

** No double entendre intended.

[Grendus]

Oh goodness no that's not real. Incredibly unbalanced item. Let's try a limited use one instead.

Hunk Rump Special Edition

Initially appearing to be nothing more than an ordinary 52-card deck of Hunk Rump: The Gathering, when any card is played the card will disappear and a muscular, highly attractive and either scantily-clad or provocatively dressed homosexual male of the species that played the card will appear and attempt to seduce any males in the room. The hunk lasts for 48 hours before disappearing back to whatever mysterious place it came from.

In species that do not reproduce by sexual reproduction, the cards do not function. In hermaphroditic species the card produces an ordinary hermaphrodite.

Summoned Hunks are typically Level 1 Bards with +8 Charisma, +8 Str (over the base for that species) and 4 ranks in Bluff, Disguise, Diplomacy and Profession(gigolo). They will not obey orders unless seduced into doing so but will instead attempt to seduce any male members of an appropriate species in the vicinity.

Roll a female character. Now you have 52 level 1 bards you can summon who will leave you alone. True, a level 1 bard is mostly useless, but they take up space and can be used for all sorts of things. For example, summon one in a corridor that might be trapped and bluff him into thinking there's another homosexual bard at the end. Summon one to use the necrotic cyst bomb techniques. Remove the entire deck from the box and throw it at the BBEG. The possibilities are endless.

Page of Conversation
These standard sized pieces of parchment or paper were designed in order to hold written conversations between two people far away, and are usually created in magically connected pairs. They may be created in larger quantities, but such usage is rare, and wasteful. Whenever they are created in such a way, however, multiple sets are created and bound into books usually 50 pages to a book, in sets of four or five books.
The page appears to be an absolutely normal piece of paper until written upon. Any writing on one Page of Conversation will appear on the other(s) it is bonded to, and fade to a barely legible light gray on the original paper. Any magical effects applied to the writing loses it's power in the original page, but sustains full effect on the bonded pages. All writing disappears two hours from when it is written. A single page can generally hold 100 words.
Faint Evocation; CL 5th; Craft wondrous Item, Sending, Secret page; price 500 gp/page (25000 gp/book), created in bound sets.

Try explosive runes. Have the rogue sneak one onto the desk of someone you want to kill, then have the party wizard scribe dozens of explosive runes into his end of the paper. No risk of anyone accidentally reading the paper, and if the rogue gets caught... hey, it's just a regular sheet of paper. The ultimate assassination device.

De-Massing Jelly
This wand generates little white balls of sticky goo (unlimited). The bit of something you spread it over becomes as light as air (mass and weight) and will blow away in the lightest wind. EDIT: this includes creatures. They're liable to go drifting off into the sky when they walk.
The goo lasts forever until scraped off. No harm to biologicals.


Easily broken. But I'm rather interested if others are thinking the things I'm thinking.

I can think of a few possibilities. If you can find a good way to get this onto an enemy, you could smack him straight up as hard as you can. He goes flying through the atmosphere, unless he starts scraping the goo off in which case he falls to the ground for maximum fall damage.

You could smear this over yourselves and your base and use a Collar of Perpetual Attendance to have your own floating palace. When you're ready to stop flying, land and cast Create Water over your party to wash the goo off.

[jseah]

I haven't looked too far into this, so I could easily be missing something really obvious, but a cursory glance doesn't explicitly require you to use up your head slot to use it.

The main point is that it's too expensive for a 3d8 blast once per day.

**********

About the goo, that was most of the options I was considering. Although, the flying palace thing is rather problematic in that your palace weighs nearly nothing and WILL blow away in the wind.

That said, you can use it to build buildings that have crazy architecture (since your building material weighs nothing now)

In a more adventury format, you can kiss your carrying capacity problems goodbye. And literally steal anything that is not nailed down. Huge ass gate made out of glassteel? Weighs a few tons? Mine now!

And of course, in airship construction. Eberron elemental craft can suddenly mount seige weapons and walls of armour that all weigh nothing.
As I point out with the flying castle, you might want to keep some weight anyway so you don't drift too much.


Other uses include making a giant pole of adamantine.
It won't break under it's weight since it weighs nothing. You can swing it really really fast (because it weighs nothing), and it'll conduct your exerted force just as well.