I Need Hilarious Things to Pour out of the Fourth (or 5th) Wall and Fight my Players!

[Chess435]

In the very humorous 3.5/PF campaign I'm running, the final battle is fast approaching, a randomized-team 5v5v5v5. (five of them are PC's but are split between various teams along with the other major NPC's of the story for an epic PvP finish)

One of my players, (let's call him Chris, mostly because that's his name and he never uses these forums) has a sword so sharp it can cut the boundaries between universes. He plans on using it during the final battle to destroy this boundary and call forth the hordes of Chaos from Warhammer 40k. What I have planned, however, is that in addition, all sorts of stuff from various TV shows/video games/books/movies/etc. pour forth in addition, and immediately begin acting according to their natural inclinations. What I ask of you, the playground, is to provide epic ideas for things to cause simultaneous Crowning Moments of Awesome and Funny! Are you up to the challenge?


Edit: Oh yeah, everyone is ECL 24, if that helps.

[Keld Denar]

Groups of 5....

5 ninjas in red/blue/black/pink/yellow suits

4 anthropomorphic turtles + anthropomorphic rat

5 bards with long hair who thrash around violently with their instruments while wearing tight leather armor, possibly combining various elements of Dragonfire Inspiration.

[BlackSheep]

Whatever you pick, I recommend playing Hungarian Rhapsody #2 in the background...

[NichG]

Idea 1:

Cartoon-ized game mechanical concepts pour out, that each inflict variations and control of their particular mechanic as their ability.

A Natural 20 (a big d20 with 20 on every facing) that basically gets a natural 20 on anything it does, but doesn't have any class abilities/etc, and a Natural 1 that inflicts natural 1s on its targets. A 5 foot step (pair of boots with a dashed line trail to the previous square they were in). An AoO (sly looking guy holding a dagger and looking around for a chance). The Grid (surveyor with tools, can rotate or shift the map grid). Out of Character, a random guy who keeps chatting about weird stuff, movies, etc during the fight, and can act out of initiative order. The Rules Lawyer, a guy in a suit and briefcase that only uses weird RAW stuff that makes no sense like drowning to health, and suppresses house rules in a 5ft radius.

Idea 2:

PCs from previous campaigns show up trying to steal the spotlight from their successors, a la Disgaea.

Idea 3:

Totally harmless-looking chibi versions of various horrible things show up (Chthonic monsters, some of the more disturbing fiends, etc) and start to play-fight with eachother. Occasionally they transform into their normal form for a single action to totally ravage some part of the field and then transform back with a guilty look.

[Tengu_temp]

The players themselves, as they are in real life. When demolishing the fourth wall, you should go all the way! For extra weirdness have each player control both his character and himself.

[ThirdEmperor]

A horde of dwagons, spidews and every other webcomic reference you can think of!

[The Cat Goddess]

Bugs Bunny, the Avatar of Chaos.

[Chess435]

The players themselves, as they are in real life. When demolishing the fourth wall, you should go all the way! For extra weirdness have each player control both his character and himself.

But what happens if their normal self dies?

[Keld Denar]

If you die in RL, you die in the game.

[IthroZada]

Deadpool, Kidpool, Headpool, Dogpool, and Ladypool.
http://www.comicbookmovie.com/fansit.../news/?a=13444

[Chess435]

Keep 'em coming!

[Yukitsu]

A man in a white trilby hat in a vast yellow landscape comes at them with a long, rambly attack to their egoes about what lousy characters they are for moderate charisma damage. Whenever they evicerate, or cut him in half or whatever, he simply cuts to the next scene where he's at his desk and fine.

[big teej]

for shame playgrounders

none of you thought of The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny?

I'll brb gonna go dig up a link before I get ninja'd


link!
http://www.flashportal.com/movies/th..._showdown.html

[Kobold Esq]

There needs to be some Nazis in there somewhere. Everyone likes killing Nazis.

[Gravitron5000]

An A.C.M.E. catalog that when perused spawns crates containing a random but fundamentally flawed wondrous item. Ensure that the flawed nature is due to over complication of the mechanism with respect to the task it is designed to perform.

A bunch of soldiers with blue and red lasers that can not hit anything, ever, but are content to shoot and take cover behind anything and everything. They would probably also be unable to be hit. Bonus points for an included public service announcement.

At some point the Mystery Machine should show up, along with some meddling kids.

[BRC]

A group of Troubleshooters pour out, armed with laser pistols, experimental equipment (Which explodes), clone backups, and a habit of turning on one another at a moment's notice.

A pair of paladins who are engaged in a heated debate on alignment.

[bbugg]

Elmer Fudd and maybe Taz.

[Venerable]

Two words: katamari damacy

[Draz74]

Muppets. A Bullywug Marshal, an Anthropomorphic Pig Monk, a Pseudonatural Mongrelman Incarnate/Fortune's Friend, a Werebear Truenamer, a pink Goblin Barbarian/Frenzied Berserker (with Perform(percussion)), a Human Artificer with Leadership but terrible Charisma ...

[ffone]

Earth/water/fire/air elemental savants + a 'heart' themed mage, who circle summon a Good Outsider type guy with green hair and blue skin - use a Planetar with druid casting instead of cleric casting (and swapped spell-likes).

[CigarPete]

Tall, floating woman with crazy hair, short funny-looking guy with round glasses, and three guys in jumpsuits with hoses attached to backpacks who proceed to start vacuuming up any undead around...

[Chess435]

I see what you did there.

[Sith_Happens]

If you and your players don't mind the stench of cheese, how about a masked man in a dashing black and gold outfit who leads an army of Huge constructs and can use Geas as a standard-action, medium range, multi-target gaze attack with permanent duration and the "no suicidal orders" clause removed?

[Chess435]

Errr.... I don't get the reference on that one...

[Douglas]

Errr.... I don't get the reference on that one...

Code Geass. The main character often leads armies of mecha, always wears a mask when not in his mild-mannered alter ego, and in the first episode he gains the ability (called Geass) to give absolute commands to anyone he can make eye contact with in something like a 200 meter range.
First two episodes spoiler:

Spoiler

Show

The very first time he uses it, he orders a whole squad of soldiers to "die". Every last one of them immediately blows his own brains out.

Further testing reveals that each command is permanent and cannot be resisted, but requires direct eye contact to give, and he can't use this ability on any single person more than once.

He is, incidentally, a perfect example of a Magnificent Bastard with a very strong streak of Large Ham.

[Mercenary Pen]

@ Sith Happens: Code Geass all the way, yes?

For my own offering, a bit of a subversion. A statue of Admiral Ackbar from Return of the Jedi, which is not trapped in any way- in a room that is also not trapped in any way. Possibly have it that somebody already came through and got rid of the traps that may have been there- but if any of your players are familiar with the 'it's a trap' meme, you could have them searching for traps that aren't there whilst you chuckle to yourself.

[Odin the Ignoble]

If theya re pouring out of the forth wall, I'd just grab whatever is lying afound and place it on the map. Cheese balls, extra dice, minatures from other games, soda bottles, anything.

Then just assign the items stats on the fly. Maybe give things that are big enough to fit over a model the Swallow Whole ability. Stuff like that.

[Assassin89]

How about a vampire with the ability to stop time and he also drops steamrollers on people?

Alternatively, creatures from a world that include a female human warlock whose eldritch blast simplifies to a gigantic magical laser, a female human samurai with a half-ghost template and a magical bastard sword and short sword, a female ghost who can induce death by moe, a female humanoid wizard who could accomplish what that sword does with a single thought and summon a train for good measure, and a knife throwing, time stopping maid.

[nedz]

There needs to be some Nazis in there somewhere. Everyone likes killing Nazis.

But the're really the dancers from The Producers

[[CLASSIFIED]]

11 ideas:
(spoilered for length)

Spoiler

Show

1: Open The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and start statting up everything you find.

2: Hippies!

3: Carebears (or other such beings)

4: Elvis. The King was abducted by transdimensional wizards and dumped into a D&D game.

5: Marvel super heroes

6: Darth Vader and all the rest from Star Wars

7: Mario, Master Chief, Samus, etc.

8: Have the universe-cutting sword malfunction and reverse the roles of the PCs and the players so that the players must play themselves as characters being played by their characters.

9: Have everything turn to LEGO that the PCs can spend actions to destroy and build terrain and other stuff with.

10: Lord Voldemort and all the other Harry Potter people. Think Dobby.

11: Give a vague description and tell the players to guess what they're about to fight. Make their guesses the things that they fight.

I could put down more, but I don't want to write too much!