RP cliches

[Das Platyvark]

"You all meet in a tavern. A man in a dark hood sits in the corner, brooding over a mug of ale. When you go to speak with him, he has a tale of goblins, attacking the nearby trade route..."
This is the thread for all those cliches that show up throughout the world of roleplaying games. Time to start listing....

[SilverSheriff]

"You all meet in a tavern. A man in a dark hood sits in the corner, brooding over a mug of ale. When you go to speak with him, he has a tale of goblins, attacking the nearby trade route...of course the story ends with the brooding stranger hanging all of the goblins by their own entrails. The stranger joins your party being a somewhat worrying, but otherwise trustworthy Ally."
This is the thread for all those cliches that show up throughout the world of roleplaying games. Time to start listing....

*fix'd in accordance with my group*

Also: The Tavern owners are dragons/quite proud and skilled owners of elephant rifles.

[DontEatRawHagis]

Orcs, Goblins, and Kobalds along with a lot of other races(ie. Drow and the like) are always Evil. If not they are a minority of good.

My campaigns never do this, usually have a lot of different types if I can. With merchants for example Goblins will sell a lot of odds and sods, Kobalds like to sell weapons, and Orcs will sell whatever they hunted.

Clerics are healers

I always make mention that other classes learn healing spells.(4e has at least one leader per power source)

Alignment equals your character

I make mention of this everytime it pops up on the forums. Alignment is an arbitrary stat on a character sheet. It was meant for use with certain artifacts that can only be used by "Good" characters.

I don't mind if a GM uses this without telling a player, but as soon as you say your evil because you did X instead of Y, the player feels cheated.

ie.
My idea:
DM: You can't use that artifact.
Me: Why?
DM: The engraving says to those of true faith.
Me: But I've been faithful.
DM: Yes, but to gain its favor you must travel to the Temple to the North as part of a pilgrimage to prove yourself worthy to use it. Only then could you be called a True follower of *blah blah* God.

How it actually happened:
DM: You can't use that artifact.
Me: Why?
DM: Your not Lawful Good Aligned.
Me: Why?
DM: You didn't destroy that dark altar.
Me: The Demon at the altar was too powerful, I would have been minced.
DM: Its not my fault your under-leveled.
Me *Death glare*

The Adviser is really in charge.

Actually good even though everyone says they are evil.

This is a twist thrown into every campaign I play. The Lieutenants are actually good people just swayed by the dark side or blackmailed.

1 is always critical failure, 20 is always critical success

To quote a lot of seasoned GMs I met, that is not true. True it is for combat, but for skill checks outside of it, no. If you allow this to happen as a GM you must first look at the repercussions:
1. Does the Crit destory your design?
2. Does it make this too easy or too hard?
3. Does it go against even fridge logic?

[Saintheart]

1. Drow are always evil.
2. And dual wield scimitars.
3. And have significant male members of their families who worshipped either Vhaeraun or Eilistraee, if not Mielikki.

[Captain Caveman]

I don't know if drow being always evil is so much a cliche' as much as it is the lore and history. I think the chaotic good day walker drows are more the cliche' now.

Anytime I hear the DM say, "As you are walking down the road you come across....." I know either a random counter or a silly side quest designed to give us another hour of game play is about to happen.

[Ozreth]

The first time RP'er whose character busts open every door, jumps off of every cliff, and gets a bit defensive when offered advice.

It's the easiest way to make your character seem unique without having to get creative.

[Eldan]

"You see a flash of bluish light as a portal opens in a nearby alley, and [thing] stumbles out, looking confused at the city overhead..."


Every single time I have to introduce a character who didn't bother to write a backstory or one that didn't connect to the adventure properly, as I told him it should.

[stainboy]

I like to combine that with the OP's:

You're in a bar in Sigil. Suddenly a portal opens and the plot stumbles out.

[Eldan]

I like to combine that with the OP's:

You're in a bar in Sigil. Suddenly a portal opens and the plot stumbles out.

I rarely let the plot stumble out of a portal. But if a player doesn't bother to write a story or even really read a bit about the setting, they get Frontally Clueless'd.

[Acanous]

And then there is an earthquake, and you all wake up in Undermountain

[WitchSlayer]

In my homebrew world's taverns, there are quite a few so called "Adventurer's taverns" which maximize shady corners. I had one that looked like a starburst so there were tons of shady corners in which one could wear cloaks.

[Eldan]

Yeah, Guide to Sigil also explicitly mentions those, IIRC. They are important. And not too far from the real world, really. Shady businesses need the right kind of space to be conducted.

Being betrayed or cheated by your employer, or said employer letting you work for evil and/or destructive purposes without your knowledge. Happens every so often.

[Yora]

Dwarves. There really isn't anything else to say about them.

[Eldan]

Dwarves. There really isn't anything else to say about them.

Humans. Humans everywhere.

[hangedman1984]

Humans. Humans everywhere.

but not a drop to drink

[Delwugor]

Dwarves.

Elves are cliches, Dwarves are awesome. And they are great at finding secret messages.
You will write that 100 times every day until it is a mantra for you.

Dragons
Tavern Brawl
Tavern Wench
Thieves Guild
"Adventurers wanted"
"Rescue the Princess"
And the worst "You see a fork in the road"

[Captain Caveman]

Elves are cliches, Dwarves are awesome. And they are great at finding secret messages.
You will write that 100 times every day until it is a mantra for you.

I have chosen to do voluntarily. No race in D&D shall ever come close to the might of the dwarves. If you say differently your beard is just too young to understand the workings of the world.

[Mono Vertigo]

Chaotic Backstabby rogues in your own party. That Heavy is a Spy!

[DiBastet]

Wooooow...

I really read "RP liches" and thought "That one is going to be good!" when I clicked.

...woooooow...

[DiBastet]

Back to the action... let me see...

Lich in swamp.
Dark elf swordmaster bbeg if you ever play an elf.
Dual wielding dark elves (I made a point of making it canon on my world).
Gentle and smart half-orcs, with tenor voices.
Busty elves (How? How???).
Dwarves with the same voice.

And the sexist cliches.

Bearded male wizard.
Showing off legs female wizard.

Ranger-like male rogue.
Black spandex female rogue.

Full plate on male cleric.
See-thru cultist clothes in female cleric...

The brash hyper-cool sorcerer.
The brash cute sorceress.

The gritty and with scars male fighter.
The sexy and without a mark female fighter.

The serious, old shaolin male monk.
The young anime ninja female monk.

The burly male barbarian with wolf's pelt armor.
The busty almost naked female barbarian (Option: the iconic frenzied berserker).

- male druid.
Fey-like pretty female druid.

Woodsy, gritty, soiled, not-quite-shaved green-clad male ranger with an eagle.
Soft, cute, with makeup female ranger archer with a wolf.

Funky, colorful, stuid and silly male bard (Option: Stratovarius blonde male bard).
Sexy, wonderful, diva-like female bard in minidress, never silly.

And finally.

Blonde, galant with perfect smile male paladin in full plate.
Blonde, galant with perfect smile female paladin in full plate, but with cleavage.


The funniest part? The female players in special make their chars like that more than everyone.

[Xanmyral]

RP Cliches? I'll try my hand at it.

Taverns having, at the minimum, roughly twenty some shadowy corners that come with complimentary cloaks and tankards.

Casters being either female and young with way to revealing clothing, or male and aged with a beard.

All tavern keepers being retired adventurers.

Monoculture races where if you met one, you've met a good ninety percent of them.

Segregated countries based on race. Look at above.

Goblins, Hobgoblins, Bug Bears, Gnolls, Ogres, and what ever else are always evil and should be killed on sight. No exceptions.

All celestials are good, wonderful people who would never harm a fly.

All demons/devils are horrible monsters who torture for the evolz.

All I got for right now.

[Honest Tiefling]

1. Snooty NPCs that don't seem to care much that the adventuring party might be willing to help them if they weren't so goshdarned snooty. Double points if Players get criticized for having PCs with bad habits, unlikable moments or lower charisma scores.

1a: Snooty NPCs who hate adventurers, but hire on their own mercenary group. nevermind if the setting has examples of beneficial and noble adventurers, or lawful or good religions with plenty of adventuring priests.

2. BBEGs who taunt the good guys...And in the process reveal that they exist when the good guys wouldn't have actually noticed. Um...Good going, Team Evil? Thanks for giving me some help and being a sport about it?

And because I think it is relevant:

"Male fighters envelop their bodies in bulky, clanking plate mail. Female fighters favor stiff metal underwear.

A male rogue will wear dark leather armor with little metal studs all over it, because nothing says “stealth” like a bunch of glittering bits of metal all over the place. Ladies in the same profession lean towards the skin-tight catsuit look, because the first step in being stealthy is apparently to make sure every able-bodied man within a hundred paces is staring at you with his mouth slightly open.

Male wizards wrap themselves in thick shapeless woolen robes that would – let’s face it – collect odors at an astounding rate. These robes would most likely be heavy, and itch like a fiberglass jockstrap. On the other hand, females who practice the arcane arts wear little strips of translucent gauze over their naughty bits.

It’s nice to see that when it comes to apparel, roleplaying games have a lot of equality: Everybody dresses like an idiot."

Taken from here. I don't take credit for writing it.

[Winter_Wolf]

Snotty elves. Flaky elves. Militant hippie elves.
Scottish dwarves.
(Pre 3.x) I-need-my-luxury halfling adventurers. Just retire already if dungeoneering is such a chore!

[Honest Tiefling]

Elves who act superior to everyone and insist that their culture is better and that everyone must conform to their culture...Even in medieval settings, where well-traveled people are rare or members of their race have an unfortunate habit of killing people.

And then complain that no one likes elves...

[Jjeinn-tae]

*fix'd in accordance with my group*

Also: The Tavern owners are dragons/quite proud and skilled owners of elephant rifles.

...How do I follow cliches that I've never heard of? What's next, they're all ex-navy? And this is for a fantasy setting I'm talking about.

[Geigan]

The shop owner is also capable of owning you since he's secretly an powerful ex-adventurer/powerful demigod/powerful outsider.

Elves and Dwarves hate each other's guts.

The powerful magic weapon is always a sword.

Goatees mean the NPC is evil. Though to be fair goatees aren't an RP exclusive cliche.

[monster race] is exclusively evil.

All of [monster race] that you meet are chaotic good rebels trying to rise above their heritage and you're a D-bag for assuming they're evil. This one I think is almost entirely Drizz't's fault.

[NikitaDarkstar]

Hmm I don't have that many. (Am I blessed or ignorant?)

The BBEG's long speeches, shut up and fight or die already. (Granted I've seen this used to great effect when incorporated as a well known, comedic personality trait of said bad-guy. The cause of many maximized fireballs.)

Somehow there's always some deity looking out for you and willing to give a helping hand and some friendly coaching if you're an adventurer, no matter your level, experience or the fact that you're not even religious.

Load-bearing monsters. Apparently the dragon you just slew also was responsible for holding up the ceiling in the cave that has the hoard. Please grab some silly little trinket and run like hell, you don't have time to look through the entire thing and grab what you REALLY want.

Lawful stupid paladins. If you're going to portray them that way I hope it's for comedy value. :p

[Geigan]

Oh and YOU ARE THE CHOSEN ONE(S)!!!!!

[Arbane]

Oh and YOU ARE THE CHOSEN ONE(S)!!!!!

It's better than "You are the BABYSITTERS of THE CHOSEN ONE!!!", which I've seen pop up occasionally.

"Whacky" NPCs, who despite being Reality-Impaired, have somehow reached a level where they could kill you with a hearty sneeze.

Kender. I have resolved to one day play a Druid in the service of the God of Natural Selection who's sworn to wipe them out.

[SilverSheriff]

...How do I follow cliches that I've never heard of? What's next, they're all ex-navy? And this is for a fantasy setting I'm talking about.

This was fantasy, although a late Medieval/early Renaissance setting with little modern tech re-hashed as Gnomish.