Ideas for Wonders

[Ineffable Earl]

I'm creating an item that I want to act like a Rod of Wonders, but with a great deal more options. I've come up with about 200 on my own, but now I'm starting to run out of ideas. If you guys could, in your infinite wisdom and creativity, help me come up with new ideas, that would be just wonderful.

[Vixsor Lumin]

Well if you've come up with 200 already, expect some repeats from us haha but here goes nothing:

Teleportation to where you point it.
Rod turns into a cage around the user for 1d4 days
+1 morale bonus to all stats for 1d6 hours
Summons a Great Wyrm Red Dragon who attacks everyone near by
Transforms target into a sweet roll
Turns all nearby gold into lead and lead into gold
Animates the users shoes and gives them intelligence
No save Finger of Death cast at target
Raises the users most recently slain friend
Turns the user permanently into a Solar if good, a Balor if evil. No effect on neutral, but they now that they missed out on

[DaMullet]

The cap comes off the end of the rod and bees swarm out for 1d4 rounds, creating a swarm with that many hit dice. Whether the bees are friendly, hostile, or neutral is up to the GM.

All characters within 30 feet of the rod switch places with whoever they attacked last.

Wielder grows a beard.

Target grows a beard.

Rod begins blinking "HELP! I'M TRAPPED INSIDE A MAGIC ITEM FACTORY" in morse code (note to self, look up morse code).

Target's shorts are transmuted to chocolate.

[Kami2awa]

The nearest normal animal is awakened.

A brilliant red beam shoots from the wand, forming a small bright dot on the target (laser pointer) with no additional effect.

The user exchanges clothes with the target.

The moon becomes twice as large, as if it is twice as close to the world (DMs choice as to whether the affect is real or illusionary, and if it's permanent).

The target is set on fire and cannot be extinguished except by dispel magic or similar (even underwater or somewhere else where fire doesn't burn).

The target is coated in barbecue sauce.

Any pure material the wand is pointed at changes state (water turns to steam/ice, metal melts, etc.). No affect on complex creatures, but elementals or golems may be destroyed.

All ferrous metal within 30' becomes STRONGLY magnetised.

The caster's eyes start to bleed. No damage or lasting effect, but it's creepy as hell.

The target becomes crazily, CRAZILY in love with the user.

The whole area around the user is swamped by a massive buffalo stampede.