The Critique Thread

[Eldan]

Many of us know how it is: you homebrew something you think is pretty nifty, but you aren't sure if it's balanced. You post it here, and either you get no replies at all, or just some general comments like "This is great!" which, while great for the ego, do not help you improve it.

That's where this thread comes in. Here, we collect people who are willing to look at other people's homebrew and critique it. There is no guarantee that they will look at any given piece, but it's a start.

How will this work? As a volunteer, post your name and which systems you are familiar with. I will add you to the list.

If you look for critique, post a link in this thread, and mention what it is, which system it is for, and what you would like people to critique.

List of critics:

Debihuman I can help with critiquing as well 3.5 and slower with Pathfinder. I'm most experienced with monsters though I can can certainly help with other stuff.

Djinn_in_Tonic

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, reporting in.

I critique on request only these days, unless something really catches my eye. Not homebrewing as much as I once was.

I'm able to critique the following:

D&D 3.5
3.5 Prestige Classes specifically...as an 8-time winner (or something like that) of the PrC Creation Contest, I consider this my focus in 3.5.
System design or conceptual design
Basically any other system from a conceptual angle.


I tend to go very big-picture, and sometimes come off as a bit acidic. If you can accept that, I like to think I have a very good grasp of D&D 3.5, system design theory in general, and player-to-mechanics interaction (i.e. what will run well at a game table vs. what will confuse or distract from gameplay).

Eldan: D&D 3.5. I will also look at pure fluff pieces, if they aren't of gigantic length (maybe even then, if I'm in a good mood).

God Imperor: Reporting for duty!

I like D&D 3.5 and I promise thorough peaches if something caches my attention, most of my comments or critiques will be due to a weird interaction with rules or due to my sometimes not so great reading comprehension (oh, I will probably understand why people try to achieve, but won't consider it properly explained on the writing).

Grod the Giant, at your service, sah

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I'll look at most anything 3.5 related, and I'm reasonably confident about Mutants and Masterminds 3e, although I don't think I've ever seen homebrew for that particular system. I'll look at fluff, too. I don't always have as much time as I'd like, and my free time tends to fluctuate based on academic schedules, but when I've got the time, I'm here.

SamBurke, 3.5, PF, 3.0, New Systems. I'll look at anything IF IT'S WELL ORGANIZED. I'm asking for grammar, clear division, holding to traditional rules of making homebrew on these forums.

sirpercival, D&D 3.5, also fluff. I'm kinda slow to PEACH, but I'm happy to do it.

Sgt. Cookie reporting in, sir!

D&D 3.5 is my area of expertise, and am willing to give anything a PEACH.


tuggyne, ready for action. I tend to be rather opinionated, balance-wise

Also, I much prefer feats or spells to classes, and much prefer classes to subsystems. Comprehensibility is a thing.

Veklim reporting for PEACH duty, mainly 3.0/5, can put my head mostly around PF and love to read random brainstorms and abstract concepts before they adhere themselves to any particular system. Mostly go for PrCs, interesting base classes and feats, but am willing and happy to look at just about anything well presented and different.

Waargh!, D&D 3.5, 4.0, New systems, depends of my time

WaylanderX, reporting in. mostly do base classes, but I don't mind feats and PRC's either.
Besides, anything really special that catches my attention can also recieve a good PEACH.

Welknair, reporting in. 3.5, PF, homebrewed systems. I specialize in classes, bloodlines, and magic systems, but I'd be happy to try my hand at anything, really. All I ask is that PEACH-recievers be willing to honestly consider the feedback they get.

TheWombatOfDoom
First I'd like to volenteer for PEACHing, but for now solely on a grammatical basis. I'll help edit wording, and fix errors.

[SamBurke]

SamBurke, 3.5, PF, 3.0, New Systems. I'll look at anything IF IT'S WELL ORGANIZED. I'm asking for grammar, clear division, holding to traditional rules of making homebrew on these forums.

[sirpercival]

sirpercival, D&D 3.5, also fluff. I'm kinda slow to PEACH, but I'm happy to do it.

[Waargh!]

Waargh!, D&D 3.5, 4.0, New systems, depends of my time


This is great (initiative) Eldan! (well, you know that comments of yours would backfire on you)

I think this is a very good start. Would also like if we keep the very good ideas in a post. Some really good home brews are posted, but they are not in the end very well organized. Which is a waste to be honest.

[Djinn_in_Tonic]

Djinn_in_Tonic, reporting in.

I critique on request only these days, unless something really catches my eye. Not homebrewing as much as I once was.

I'm able to critique the following:

• D&D 3.5
• 3.5 Prestige Classes specifically...as an 8-time winner (or something like that) of the PrC Creation Contest, I consider this my focus in 3.5.
• System design or conceptual design
• Basically any other system from a conceptual angle.

I tend to go very big-picture, and sometimes come off as a bit acidic. If you can accept that, I like to think I have a very good grasp of D&D 3.5, system design theory in general, and player-to-mechanics interaction (i.e. what will run well at a game table vs. what will confuse or distract from gameplay).

[Welknair]

Welknair, reporting in. 3.5, PF, homebrewed systems. I specialize in classes, bloodlines, and magic systems, but I'd be happy to try my hand at anything, really. All I ask is that PEACH-recievers be willing to honestly consider the feedback they get.

[Grod_The_Giant]

Grod the Giant, at your service, sah!

I'll look at most anything 3.5 related, and I'm reasonably confident about Mutants and Masterminds 3e, although I don't think I've ever seen homebrew for that particular system. I'll look at fluff, too. I don't always have as much time as I'd like, and my free time tends to fluctuate based on academic schedules, but when I've got the time, I'm here.

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I'll also kick off the other side of the thread by posting my latest creation, a fighter fix (I know, I know...) I'm using a somewhat unusual mechanic, sort of an inspiration-points-esque dice pool, and I haven't got enough balance feedback-- and none at all since I updated.

[toapat]

Second to Ask: Toapat's New Paladin

this isnt the first thread of this though

[SamBurke]

Grod the Giant, at your service, sah!

I'll also kick off the other side of the thread by posting my latest creation, a fighter fix (I know, I know...) I'm using a somewhat unusual mechanic, sort of an inspiration-points-esque dice pool, and I haven't got enough balance feedback-- and none at all since I updated.

I'll look into it; seen it before, liked, didn't PEACH.

Also, how/where are we going to peach? On this thread, on the thread linked? What is this thread for? Discussion about PEACHing in general, about the specifics? Etc, etc, etc.

@Topoat, it indeed is not. We're just hoping to keep it alive.

[Grod_The_Giant]

I'll look into it; seen it before, liked, didn't PEACH.

Also, how/where are we going to peach? On this thread, on the thread linked? What is this thread for? Discussion about PEACHing in general, about the specifics? Etc, etc, etc.

Hooray! Thanks!

PEACHing should probably take place on the original (linked) threads. It keeps all the feedback together, and doesn't crowd up this thread with only semi-relevant posts.

[toapat]

Also, how/where are we going to peach? On this thread, on the thread linked? What is this thread for? Discussion about PEACHing in general, about the specifics? Etc, etc, etc.

why not just continue the previous request thread's rule: the Peach goes in the topic for the homebrew, not this one. it keeps context easier to see.

[TuggyNE]

tuggyne, ready for action. I tend to be rather opinionated, balance-wise

Also, I much prefer feats or spells to classes, and much prefer classes to subsystems. Comprehensibility is a thing.

[Veklim]

Veklim reporting for PEACH duty, mainly 3.0/5, can put my head mostly around PF and love to read random brainstorms and abstract concepts before they adhere themselves to any particular system. Mostly go for PrCs, interesting base classes and feats, but am willing and happy to look at just about anything well presented and different.

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On the flipside, I'd like to submit my Bastion to the ever-watchful eyes of the Playground, I'm at a serious loss for further inspiration, and an honest critique from a-z would be a full on blessing for me!

[Amnoriath]

Could any of you fine gentleman please look into balance and some different abilities for a couple of Incarnum PrC fixes I have done in another blog. As such it is for 3.5 play. I am sorry but I lost material on how to do a chart sequence online a long time ago so please bear with the amount of words.
http://www.enworld.org/forum/d-d-leg...rnate-fix.html
http://www.enworld.org/forum/d-d-leg...de-rehaul.html

[Sgt. Cookie]

Sgt. Cookie reporting in, sir!

D&D 3.5 is my area of expertise, and am willing to give anything a PEACH.

[toapat]

'll also kick off the other side of the thread by posting my latest creation, a fighter fix (I know, I know...) I'm using a somewhat unusual mechanic, sort of an inspiration-points-esque dice pool, and I haven't got enough balance feedback-- and none at all since I updated.

Second to Ask: Toapat's New Paladin

Could any of you fine gentleman please look into balance and some different abilities for a couple of Incarnum PrC fixes I have done in another blog. As such it is for 3.5 play. I am sorry but I lost material on how to do a chart sequence online a long time ago so please bear with the amount of words.
http://www.enworld.org/forum/d-d-leg...rnate-fix.html
http://www.enworld.org/forum/d-d-leg...de-rehaul.html

3 requests already

[Veklim]

Guessing mine is invisible then...should remember not to leave the chameleon field up and running on my posts...

[Fawriel]

Well then, don't mind if I do!

The Wanderer (3.5 Base Class)
My first foray into homebrewing, and I admit I'm not very experienced with the game. I'll briefly summarize what I was trying to do, because the amount of text is probably going to be daunting. I won't be horribly insulted if you skip past the fluff. Just a little.

The class is supposed to be a very customizable catch-all thing for freedom-loving people who, roughly speaking, break physical and/or societal constraints. They get a lot of movement skills because of their thirst for freedom, improved fighting capabilities because of the powers they draw from their own will and a sort of spiritual ability to go with the flow of battle, and a bit of magic because of their spiritual openness to the world. MAD is supposed to both balance the class and ideally make it possible to play someone who fits the class but is not spiritual enough to use its magic, for instance, while still making for a decent character. In short, what I went for is versatility, and whatever one does with the class, it's supposed to result in a character who's not absurdly powerful in any way, but will usually be able to contribute something in any situation.

The main thing that needs to be dissected is the magic capabilities of the class, which tend to be the thing people point out when they call the class too powerful. Since I only want magic to be secondary, or at least not the centralizing aspect, something should be changed about it. However, while the magic system I came up with is a little complicated and unusual, I think it adds a lot of flavor to the class (because of the preparation rituals for one thing, for another thing because it shows a spiritual progression from the inside to the outside to within others to the realm of ideas), so I would be unhappy to lose it completely.

As it stands, I think the simplest solution would be to only let magic advance up to level 6 and add the restriction that any one spell can only be used up to 1+(Cha modifier) times per day, and maybe that would nerf it enough that I can justify upping the HD to a d8, but I would be happy for any other ideas, be they about balance or anything else.

[God Imperror]

Reporting for duty!

I like D&D 3.5 and I promise thorough peaches if something caches my attention, most of my comments or critiques will be due to a weird interaction with rules or due to my sometimes not so great reading comprehension (oh, I will probably understand why people try to achieve, but won't consider it properly explained on the writing).

At the moment I am working on Anointed heritor which started as a sort of Soulborn fix mixing it with vestiges and binding, so it might be a long read, but I would really appreciate PEACHes there.

Going to go over the current requests now.

[toapat]

found the last thread of this Here

[Eldan]

Actually, would be nice if someone could have a look at my Arcane Magic. I've added a few new features, lately, including level 20 capstones for wizards.

[Waargh!]

Adding a request for reviews for The Engineer

[WaylanderX]

WaylanderX, reporting in.
I wanna put my Improviser class up here for review. The only reviews that I had were "This looks fun!" review and now I'm kinda losing motivation to make the class bigger.

The Improviser is a class based arround using mundane tools and gadgets to do incredible stuff, such as throwing magnesium in a lantern for a AoE blind or using ventriloquism and a whistle to replicate a Ghost Sound spell. Also he has the ability to get every tool that you could ever imagine out of his backpack (As long as it fits in his backback), as long as it is within the gold limits of that classfeature. Other then that, he is a skillmonkey that can also he used as secondary healer, scout, semi-mage, or whatever you want to do. If you have any other idea's for different trick paths, give me a PM, and I'll see what I can come up with ^^. Thx in advance.


Also I wanna sign up for Peaching duteh!
I mostly do base classes, but I don't mind feats and PRC's either.
Besides, anything really special that catches my attention can also recieve a good PEACH.

[TheWombatOfDoom]

TheWombatOfDoom here with a few suggestions!

First I'd like to volenteer for PEACHing, but for now solely on a grammatical basis. I'll help edit wording, and fix errors.

As for this thread, it might be a good idea to reference a link back to the advice thread for those who might need help starting who come on here.

Also may want to format it so that the list of requests is at the top of the thread so its easiest for all PEACHers to peruse. Don't have to do much more than it's name, a link, and who it's by. That way you can take them off the list once it's been PEACHed. How does that sound?

Perhaps also we should get a request form or something, so that people can request what kind of PEACHing they want, or from what people, rather than a copy and paste in the forum. Perhaps they could request a specific PEACHer even, or a PEACHer can say they're taking up a request so that we know who has been taken care of so no one falls through the cracks.

[Debihuman]

I can help with critiquing as well 3.5 and slower with Pathfinder. I'm most experienced with monsters though I can can certainly help with other stuff.

Debby

[SamBurke]

TheWombatOfDoom here with a few suggestions!

First I'd like to volenteer for PEACHing, but for now solely on a grammatical basis. I'll help edit wording, and fix errors.

As for this thread, it might be a good idea to reference a link back to the advice thread for those who might need help starting who come on here.

Also may want to format it so that the list of requests is at the top of the thread so its easiest for all PEACHers to peruse. Don't have to do much more than it's name, a link, and who it's by. That way you can take them off the list once it's been PEACHed. How does that sound?

Perhaps also we should get a request form or something, so that people can request what kind of PEACHing they want, or from what people, rather than a copy and paste in the forum. Perhaps they could request a specific PEACHer even, or a PEACHer can say they're taking up a request so that we know who has been taken care of so no one falls through the cracks.

Seems like a good idea to me.

[Fawriel]

I guess I should mention that I've overhauled my Wanderer class now (change log is in the second post), so I guess the question is now no longer "what should I do to balance the class according to these ideas", but rather "did I manage to do it"?

[Eldan]

I'll get to the Wanderer next, I'm still on the Heritor.

[Fawriel]

I'll be looking forward to it!

[TheWombatOfDoom]

It appears the listings here may need to be updated. > . >